Post # 1
My FI’s grandmother was the first to buy anything off our registry this week. (Wedding is three months away.) Now we’re hearing second hand that’s she’s really upset that we haven’t thanked her for the gift yet. It’s not even the actual gift, just a pledge to give us money at the wedding to offset the cost of our honeymoon. Was it wrong of us not to call or e-mail this week to thank her for the pledge of a present? We thought the thank you’s were supposed to go out after the wedding.
Not to mention the fact that the Fiance had hernia surgery the morning after we found out she’d made her pledge and we’ve been pre-occupied with that for the last few days.
Post # 3
If she bought it this week, you’re not late with anything, especially with the surgery (hope he’s doing well!). But the thank you notes are supposed to go out pretty soon after you get the present, not after the wedding. But have you really “gotten” the present? Sort of/not really. I don’t know what the etiquette is for a pledge of money, but if it were me, (especially knowing she’s upset), I would call her right away, thank her for her generosity, and then write her a note once you actually get the money and after you get back from your honeymoon. Tell her what a wonderful time you had and say it wouldn’t have been possible without her help. But you haven’t done anything wrong.
Post # 4
We had someone get upset over a similar situation. If she is upset, write her a note to please her. She probably doesnt realize modern etiquette and expects that a thank you comes immdiately
Post # 5
I don’t think you are late at getting out a thank you note but I do think you should send them as donations are made.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I agree that thank yous should go out as the gifts come in – it acknowledges the gift sooner, and it is one less to write after the wedding!
Post # 7
I would send the thank you and apologize for it taking a little longer but she should understand because of the surgery. I sent out all my thank yous before the wedding so that I wouldn’t have a huge pile of them for after the wedding.
Post # 8
Well, he called her this weekend and she didn’t seem upset in the least. It may be a case of exaggeration from his mom. We didn’t realize you were supposed to send thank you notes as you get stuff in the mail. I’ve only ever received a thank you after the wedding. We were actually planning to create our own thank you cards with a picture from the wedding holding a “thank you” sign, but I guess I’ll give up that idea.
Post # 9
I may be picky, but personally I like to send thank-you notes right away. Especially for gifts of cash. I think its super rude to cash a check but not take the time to write a thank-you note.
Post # 10
I’ve been trying to send our thank you cards as soon as we get the gift because two reasons. 1) I don’t want people to wonder if I received the gift yet and 2) so it is one less to do later after the wedding.
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
We sent some out already to keep them from piling up too much… but we had a cut-off, too. Anything we’ve received in March gets a thank you note after the wedding. 😉
Post # 12
I probably would of sent her an informal thank you, like a phone call. But that’s tricky because she didn’t actually send you anything, right? How did you find out about this pledge? If it didn’t come directly from her to you, then I don’t think she should be too bent out of shape about this. Sounds like she’s really into etiquette or just super sensitive.
Post # 13
We got an e-mail from the honeymoon registry website notifying us of her pledge last Tuesday night. The surgery was Wednesday morning. I told my Fiance about the pledge on Tuesday night when I got the e-mail. We found out she was upset on Saturday and he called later that day.
Post # 14
I’ve been wondering the same thing too. We have a honeymoon registry and I thought it would be nice to send thank you’s telling people what a fun time we had on our honeymoon. I was also thinking it would be a good way to kill time on the plane and I want to use my new combined name return address stamp. But now I’m starting to feel bad because the gifts are starting to be over a month old. I might go ahead and wrtie a few for the really old ones and wait for the more recent ones until after.