(Closed) Pre-wedding thank you’s?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If she bought it this week, you’re not late with anything, especially with the surgery (hope he’s doing well!).  But the thank you notes are supposed to go out pretty soon after you get the present, not after the wedding.  But have you really “gotten” the present?  Sort of/not really.  I don’t know what the etiquette is for a pledge of money, but if it were me, (especially knowing she’s upset), I would call her right away, thank her for her generosity, and then write her a note once you actually get the money and after you get back from your honeymoon.  Tell her what a wonderful time you had and say it wouldn’t have been possible without her help.  But you haven’t done anything wrong. 

Post # 4
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We had someone get upset over a similar situation.  If she is upset, write her a note to please her.  She probably doesnt realize modern etiquette and expects that a thank you comes immdiately

Post # 5
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t think you are late at getting out a thank you note but I do think you should send them as donations are made. 

Post # 6
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

I agree that thank yous should go out as the gifts come in – it acknowledges the gift sooner, and it is one less to write after the wedding!

Post # 7
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would send the thank you and apologize for it taking a little longer but she should understand because of the surgery.  I sent out all my thank yous before the wedding so that I wouldn’t have a huge pile of them for after the wedding.

Post # 9
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I may be picky, but personally I like to send thank-you notes right away.  Especially for gifts of cash.  I think its super rude to cash a check but not take the time to write a thank-you note.

Post # 10
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’ve been trying to send our thank you cards as soon as we get the gift because two reasons. 1) I don’t want people to wonder if I received the gift yet and 2) so it is one less to do later after the wedding.

Post # 11
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

We sent some out already to keep them from piling up too much… but we had a cut-off, too. Anything we’ve received in March gets a thank you note after the wedding. 😉

Post # 12
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I probably would of sent her an informal thank you, like a phone call.  But that’s tricky because she didn’t actually send you anything, right?  How did you find out about this pledge?  If it didn’t come directly from her to you, then I don’t think she should be too bent out of shape about this.  Sounds like she’s really into etiquette or just super sensitive. 

Post # 14
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I’ve been wondering the same thing too.  We have a honeymoon registry and I thought it would be nice to send thank you’s telling people what a fun time we had on our honeymoon.  I was also thinking it would be a good way to kill time on the plane and I want to use my new combined name return address stamp.  But now I’m starting to feel bad because the gifts are starting to be over a month old.  I might go ahead and wrtie a few for the really old ones and wait for the more recent ones until after.

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