- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
I’m sorry to uload all of this on you guys, but at this point I’m in dire need. Let me preface this by saying I do have a very supportive Fiance, and am under the care of a professional. However, I havent seen her in too long, because I cant get my work schedule to mesh with hers.. of course work is my #1 stressor at this point.. irony, much?
So anyway, I am 28.. soon to be 29, and am feeling really old. I wont be married until I’m 30, and who knows how old I’ll be when I start having kids.. not to mention I have PCOS, so who knows if I even can, or how much extra time and money will have to be devoted to TTC.
I just feel like I’ve wasted time; I honestly don’t even know what I want to do with my life. I have spent a lot of time and student loans for things I haven’t used. I wanted to go in to the beauty industry, but I don’t feel like I am good enough at it ( I am sensitive, had a bad boss, and some catty peers) So, I have a license, and haven’t used it, but everyone wants me to get it renewed? What the hell for? Not to mention, I certainly don’t feel beautiful: I have been so down lately, that my hygiene has suffered.. and I was no beauty to begin with.
I work in the fringes of the industry, mostly sales.. which is not what my initial goal was. Lately, I feel like I cant do anything right, and its giving me major anxiety. I just wish I had a regular, decent paying 9-5. I know I should go back to college, but everything I’d want to do is Masters level.. and at this point, I’d be starting all over again. I hate comparing myself to others, but yet I can’t seem to stop it. Ugh!
Sorry again ladies, I just needed to let that out.
Any thooughts or encouragement would be appreciated! 🙂