(Closed) Preacher wont marry us…looking for a diff venue now!

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh, that’s sad about the preacher. I’m kind of thinking maybe it’s a southern baptist one since you said you could have dancing? That’s a bonus then!

I like the place, there’s so much you could do with it! Congrats on finding somewhere else so quickly!

Post # 4
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That stinks. . but not totally unheard of.  In the last 15 years my mom’s church has had three senior pastors.  None of them would marry couples that lived together.  It was always the job of the associate pastor. 

On the upside it sounds like you’re getting the ceremony/reception you wanted.

Post # 5
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

So wait, this preacher really wanted the parents of a 2 year old to live apart?  Shouldn’t he want to marry you even more because of this?  I mean, I can see him saying that you should move the wedding date up or something (not that I think you should, but I can see how someone who disapproves of living together would think that) but what the heck is wrong with him?  What about the child?

Post # 6
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with greenleafmountain! that’s kinda silly. I hope that you get what you’re looking for!

Post # 7
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Usually people are happy to marry people who live together because they would no longer be “living in sin”. I hope that you get the other venue! Good luck!

Post # 8
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m sorry to hear about your experience!  My Fiance and I went through the same thing with the church my parents go to and we had started to attend.  It took a while, but we eventually found a minister (who also happened to be an old friend of the family) who was more than happy to marry us.  We realized that our beliefs lined up much more with the new minister rather than the church we were attending.  


Anyways… congrats on finding a new place!

Post # 9
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m a Christian, and I can’t stand when I hear stories like this about clergy members.  If they believe so strongly that sex outside of marriage is wrong, then they should be warmly welcoming you and encouraging you to get married in their church.  If this pastor really believes in the Bible, then he should know that all people are sinners and just because others in his congregation are not living together does not mean that they do not sin as well.  It’s so strange that living with the father of your child…who you are trying to marry…is so much worse than lying, fraud, jealousy, turning a blind eye to the poor or the other mirad of sins people commit.  I’m so sorry that you have had to go through this, and I hope your new venue option has people who are more loving and supportive. 

Post # 10
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

that definately isn’t right. maybe they don’t agree with what you guys did, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t do stuff for you. especially if it’s you guys getting married.

i know the struggles though. well, sorta. i was born out of marriage, and i couldn’t get baptized for about a year and a half (our church does infant baptism) because my parents weren’t together and my mom wasn’t a believer. thankfully my church has come a long way since then.

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