(Closed) Predetermined Age?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

FH actually never thought he’d get married. When we first started dating, FH was going to a different school and had a plan of just roaming around as a travelling welder. After he changed schools (and started dating me) he changed his mind. I on the other hand, figured I’d be in my late 20’s before I got married. I’ll be 22 on my wedding day.

I don’t know why anyone feels there’s a “magical” age to do anything. I remember being a kid and thinking that at 18, I was going to become an adult and I was going to gain all this knowledge… Of course, as I got older, I realized that isn’t how it happened. It is an interesting question though and I’m interested to see other people’s responses.

 

Post # 4
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think many people have an idea in their heads when they are young which most people adjust/realize doesn’t match their life when they get older.  For example, I always figured I’d have kids by age 30, until I hit 25 and realized that I was no where near ready to have kids in the next 5 years.  So I got rid of that plan. 

On the other hand, my ex-boyfriend had an idea of when we’d marry (we’d get engaged a year out from my grad school and married a year later).  When we broke up, he still kept to the same plan.  He had left me for the girl he cheated on me with on an international business trip, but ended up meeting someone else 6 months later.  They dated about a year, were engaged about a year and he got married at the same exact timing he had planned with me.  When I heard about his wedding, I noticed that and thought it was funny but kept my mouth shut and didn’t remark it, but his best man told me that he felt as if the ex were trying to keep to a schedule.  I wonder if they’ll have kids on roughly the same timeline we had talked about as well.

Post # 5
Member
40 posts
Newbee

Years ago, my SO told me he’d like to get married around 27. He has two friends in long-term relationships, and one says he’ll get married at 30, and the other wants to wait for 35. 

I have yet to see if any of that actually turns out to be true. 

However, I did have a girlfriend who’s boyfriend believed 30 to be the magic age, and five years later, they got married shortly after he turned 30. 

I think men just have a picture in their mind of what a husband is like, and that includes his age. 

Post # 6
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

I think it depends on the individual and the circumstances. Honestly, 26 or 27 is a very reasonable age to wait until, regardless of how long you have been dating. While some people are very happy marrying in their early 20s, I think most people would want to wait until they were a little older and 26 sounds like the minimum age at which most men would want to make that level of commitment. At least among my friends, everyone waited until they were at least in their later 20s.

Post # 7
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Honestly, 26 or 27 is a very reasonable age to wait until, regardless of how long you have been dating.

Yeah I definitely agree. How old are you and SO currently, OP?

Post # 8
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Fiance always said he didn’t want to get married until we were 25. Both of our 25th birthdays were in March so yea, he stuck to it. I was itching for a ring at around 22/23 but I’m happy he stuck to his guns. 25 will be a good year for us! =)

Post # 8
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Double post. 

Post # 9
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

My fiance said 35…. I told him that I wasn’t going to wait that long (he was 28 when he said that). He proposed at 31 and he will be 33 when we marry. He changed his mind because I wasn’t going to wait 7 years for a commitment.

Post # 11
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@hellopurple: Ah I see. Well good then, nothing wrong with that! I think your being at least 23/24 before you’re married would be a good thing as well. Cherish your legally “single” years. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Fiance always said 25, and we’ve been dating since high school, so that seemed like eternity for me, but we’ve waited!  We’re both 24, getting married in June, and he’ll turn 25 later this year, so we almost made it to his “magic” age. =)

Post # 13
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

both Fiance and I didn’t think we would ever want to get married. Wasn’t part of our life goals

Post # 14
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My SO had said he wanted to wait until 28 (we were 21 when we started dating) and he’s stuck to it. We’ll both be 28 later this year and I’ve been itching to get engaged for the past couple years. I hope it’s coming soon 🙂

Post # 15
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

SO has been married so i think his idea of ideal has changed quite a bit.

i always thought i would be married aroudn 27 and have my first child at 28.  28 was the magical number so when it came and went, i started to panic.  i then thought about skipping the whole wedding thing.  around age 30, i went out and bought all of the typical wedding registry items on my own. 

 

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