(Closed) Preggo bridesmaid – help please!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee

Your wedding is in June.  It is only January.  I would just follow your friends lead.  She has plenty of time to decide if she wants to/can travel for your wedding.  As for the dress, drop the idea that they all wear the same dress because that just won’t be possible with a 7 month a long pregnant lady. So if she does decide to attend your wedding just look for a dress by the same designer that would fit a growing baby bump.  But above all, just be flexible.

Post # 3
Member
6606 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Just order an extra bolt of fabric when you order her dress, and a good seamstress should be able to expand her dress to fit her baby bump. When you order the extra fabric, they usually cut it from the same dye lot so it will be a spot-on match for the dress.

Post # 4
Member
2366 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

If you cant return/cancel the dress you already bought then your Bridesmaid or Best Man should buy the new dress. See if the salon can order it maternity sized. if not keep the dress you already ordered and use it for extra fabric, a skilled seamstress should be able to make it work.

Post # 5
Member
337 posts
Helper bee

Seems like you are understanding in case she can’t make it. If she can, maybe find a different dress that fits in with the other BM’s dresses. I always think pregnant BMs look super cute and she is going to somewhat standout (not more than you in your wedding dress though) so it’s not a huge deal to me that the dress highlights her a little too.

If you can still change dresses, maybe consider doing a mix of dresses that work together for all your BMs.

Post # 6
Member
8499 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Either have her dress altered or let her choose another in a corresponding fabric. I travelled for a wedding when I was 7 months pregnant and it wasn’t an issue at all.

Post # 7
Member
303 posts
Helper bee

I don’t see a problem with her traveling at seven months along unless she has complications.  As far as the dress goes, I don’t see how it will be possible for her to wear the one you’ve picked out.  Even if a seamstress could somehow alter it to accommodate the belly, a lot of people gain weight all over which makes the whole alterations process a lot more complicated, if not impossible.  And she may not feel comfortable wearing a form-fitting dress at that stage of pregnancy (I don’t think that I would personally).  My suggestion would be to find her a dress in the same color and fabric that is available in maternity sizing.  I know your “vision” was that all of your BM’s would be in the same exact dress, but life doesn’t always work out according to plan.  No one is going to think anything of it if your one Bridesmaid or Best Man is in a different dress because she is seven months pregnant.

Post # 9
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
mrstob614:  So you’re gonna kick her out of the bridal party because she can’t fit into your dress anymore? Having her “just do a reading” is not going to go over well here. Also, how long is the ceremony? She may be completely fine to stand. 

Post # 10
Member
303 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
mrstob614:  

“i was thinking she can order a dress in the color – but have her do a reading Or just relax with her hubby and not stress. She’s going to need to sit for the ceremony anyways”

 

I would find this very offensive if I were her, especially given that she is shelling out considerable $ to be a part of your destination wedding.  You are essentially demoting her from Bridesmaid or Best Man because she got pregnant.  She may be just fine standing for the entire ceremony, or maybe not, but that is for her to decide – not you.

As far as your pictures, honestly your wedding party is in such a small percentage of pictures that I think it is absolute BS to get all worked up over something like this.  Think about this – how many of these pictures are you going to end up even putting up in your house?  Maybe one that she’s even in?  I’m sure you can live with her being in a slightly different dress and if not, you should reevaluate your priorities.

Post # 11
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
mrstob614:  So you would rather your friend not be in the wedding because you must have the same dresses?  I’m sorry but I find it incredibly selfish to put matching dresses over a friend being in your wedding.  Yes, these pictures are forever, so wouldn’t you rather look at your photos 20 years from now and see your friends smiling face?  I doubt you will look at your photos and think “oh those matching dresses really made my wedding perfect.”

If you ask her to only do a reading then you are essentially kicking her out of the wedding.  And if you do ask her to do a reading and not be a Bridesmaid or Best Man then do not require her to get a specific dress in a specific color.  At that point she is a guest and can wear whatever she wants.

And even if she is still a Bridesmaid or Best Man can sit during the ceremony.  In fact, you should have a chair open for her in the front row so that if she does feel the need to sit, she can.

Post # 15
Member
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

It’s clear from your carefully written OP that you’re not asking for help in how to accommodate a pregnant bridesmaid. Instead, you’ve provided a detailed explanation as to why you feel you must remove her from this role in your wedding.

I think the bees are trying to help you understand that you likely still can have your friend retain her original role while even wearing the original dress, just NOT in its original FORM. It would be the same dress, fabric and color, but it will have to be redesigned in some manner to accommodate her pregnancy.

Unfortunately, it seems that the only question you really wanted to ask is how to tell your friend that you are withdrawing your offer to have her in your bridal party.

The topic ‘Preggo bridesmaid – help please!’ is closed to new replies.

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