Pregnancy After Loss and/or Trouble Conceiving Support Thread

posted 8 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 437
Member
800 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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@dianaj17:  all OK here thanks! 15.5 weeks, this pregnancy is going a lot faster than my first! I told work today which I was nervous about, as I’ve only been there a few months and I plan to take a year of maternity, but they were all nice about it. Counting down the days till our 20 week scan!

Ah yes, the third trimester does drag!! Sounds like you have some nice things planned and you’re not feeling too bad physically, which is great 😊

Post # 438
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

Hey everyone!! I am way behind on posts and I hope you’re all doing well! My baby boy is here! 🥰 Labor was TOUGH, but it was worth it ❤️ Baby is healthy and is doing well! I am probably biased, but he is the sweetest and cutest baby ever! I’m doing well too! I’m recovering from an unexpected c section and trying not to dwell too much on labor not going as I had wanted. I didn’t have a strict labor plan and was open to whatever needed to be done to make sure baby got here safely, but I still had some disappointment even though I know the only thing that matters is that he is here and healthy. I’ve been feeling better about it each day and just wanted to share so that if anyone else feels that way after delivery you know you’re not alone!

Post # 439
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2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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@marriedbliss:  it’s so funny how time goes, because reading your reply, I can’t BELIEVE you’re 15.5 weeks already! I’m so glad it’s going quickly and uneventfully!

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@morecookiesplease:  welcome to the world baby boy! I’m sorry you’re struggling. I firmly believe that a lot of the weird feelings that come from post-birth disappointment stem from the idea that all you’re supposed to care about is a healthy baby, and if you have a tough time/it doesn’t go how you hope, you’re supposed to just get over it. It’s okay that you’re a little sad about it being a harder road than you wanted, and I hope that recovery and baby snuggles have you feeling better soon!

Post # 440
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

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@dianaj17:  yes that sums it up exactly!! I am soooo grateful to have my baby and feel like I shouldn’t be disappointed in how labor and delivery went since I should just be happy he’s here, so there’s guilt in being disappointed. The outcome is the most important thing and I’ve pretty much come to terms with how l&d went and realize I didn’t do anything wrong (I felt some guilt like maybe I made wrong decisions) and am feeling much better about it now!

Post # 442
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

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@morecookiesplease:  congratulations on your baby boy! Yay! And you are entitled to your feelings. It’s ok to feel disappointed. Those feelings need to be processed too. 🙂

Post # 443
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

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@morecookiesplease:  so so happy to see your update! Congratulations! It sounds like we had a similar experience and I can tell you at almost 9 months post partum, it does get better. Take care of yourself and enjoy all the newborn snuggles <3

Post # 444
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Today is our original pregnancy’s due date. Last night was a bit rough, but I feel much better today. I took the day off work and have some fun things planned (poor DH had to go in, he is saving his leave for after baby boy’s arrival). I cried a lot last night, but today I just feel grateful. Grateful that we, against the odds, got pregnant again so soon. Grateful for our rainbow baby. Grateful (and a little guilty, because #hormones) that it all worked out the way it did, because I can’t imagine a different baby…I already love THIS one so much. But, on the other hand, I do feel like pregnancy after loss has some dark/hard moments the further along you get, because with every milestone, you realize exactly what you missed out on. I can’t even be mad that I peed literally 6 times in a row before bed last night and 4 times overnight, thanks to him sitting DIRECTLY on my bladder…I know we say it a lot in this group, but as annoying as some of the mundane aches and pains can be, especially in the 1st and 3rd tri, it still just doesn’t even register as a true inconvenience when you’ve lived the worst case, and I really hope that perspective continues over the next 6 weeks. 

Post # 445
Member
1405 posts
Bumble bee

Our baby girl arrived late last night! The c section became an induction because she unbreeched herself. It took 36 hours and I ended up getting an epidural. I was a little disappointed with myself for caving but honestly labor was so freaking long and I was so worn out and still facing a long ways to go. I’m so glad I got it- it made the remaining 8 hours (and 3 hours of pushing) much easier. And now we have a healthy daughter and she’s doing great! 

Post # 446
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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@DogsAndWine:  congratulations!!!! I know you were at peace with a section, but hopefully you enjoy the easier recovery. Dont feel remotely bad about caving…I’m fairly hippie dippie (“planning” for a water birth, would totally have a home birth if I lived in a different state with better laws and access), and my birth goals say “please offer me an epidural as soon as labor is established if I’m induced”…from what I hear, those contractions are brutal…congrats on rocking a long labor, and long pushing stage! I know they say we don’t get medals but that totally deserves one. 

Post # 447
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

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@DogsAndWine:  congratulations!!!!! I’m glad to hear that your baby girl is healthy! Don’t feel bad about the epidural, especially after such a long labor!! How are you feeling??

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@DogsAndWine:  thank you!!

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@lifetimegoals:  thanks so much!! Very true that feelings about labor need to be processed too! It’s so easy to just ignore it!

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@frenchtoastvegan:  thanks bee!! It’s good to hear from you! I can’t believe your little one is almost 9 months! I hope you’re doing well! ❤️

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@dianaj17:  I’m sorry that you were having a rough time and am glad you are doing better. Pregnancy can be a tough time even when you haven’t experienced a loss or struggles conceiving, but especially when you’ve experienced those sadness can happen even when you are so grateful for what you have now. I’m glad we have this group as a safe space to share when we have the tough times and know that others will understand ❤️

Post # 448
Member
800 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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@dianaj17:  honestly the epidural saved my sanity during my induced labour! I wanted a water birth too but labour has an annoying way of being unpredictable lol. Knowing epidurals exist was a big reason I decided to have another kid. I’m sorry you’re feeling sad. There are so many mixed emotions on this journey.

I had a bit of a scare at my midwife appt yesterday. My blood pressure and pulse were way too high, which happens to me naturally anyway but they take it more seriously in pregnancy. So they sent me to hospital for tests and a referral to a cardiologist. To be honest this happened in my first pregnancy and all was OK in the end, but I’m having further investigations this time as my midwife this time round is more vigilant, which is good but also I find heart things scary! But baby all fine, and we have our 20 week scan in three weeks! I absolutely can’t wait to find out if we’re having a boy or girl, and to make sure all is well. 

Post # 449
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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@morecookiesplease:  I agree, this community has been such a godsend. It’s so nice knowing that people just get it. Everyone’s journey and experience here has been different, with differing levels of personal tragedy, but knowing that you can say things like “I’m channeling my anxiety into obsessing over my cat’s ear infection and worrying that it’s not getting better” (true story for me this week, ha) without judgment, and better yet that everyone GETS what it’s like to disassociate a little/have weird anxiety moments, is just great. I hope you’re doing well!

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@marriedbliss:  ugh I hope it calms down! When all you want is a boring, mundane pregnancy, those scares hit extra hard. And yep, I know plenty of people have induced labors sans meds, but I have no desire. My practice isn’t big on induction…outside of medical reasons, unless someone specifically requests it, they don’t really induce prior to 41-42 weeks. So the hope is definitely that I don’t end up having a medical reason, and that baby decides to come on his own prior to that 41.5-42 week mark (given the research, I probably wouldn’t elect to go past 41+2), and that we end up with our water birth. BUT, if I need that induction, gimme that epidural at a nice early 3-4 cm, lmao. 

Post # 450
Member
800 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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@dianaj17:  haha ah yes, hopefully you can avoid it! Unfortunately although my waters broke on my due date, my contractions didn’t start, and after 36 hours of me refusing to be induced, they tried pessaries which didn’t work so it had to be the drip! I was group B strep positive so they started getting anxious about infection and by that point I was just keen to get it all going. 36 hours in hospital with nothing happening was so draining! After induction I held out for 6 hours without pain relief, but I was still only 3cm by that point 🙈So I got the epidural and I wish I’d taken it earlier! It’s good to keep moving to get baby in the right position but once you’re hooked up to an induction drip there’s only so much you can do anyway. Luckily all went smoothly. After the epidural I fell asleep and when I woke up I put on some make up, skyped my parents, pushed and there he was! 100% turn around from pre epidural when I literally thought I’d just give up and die. 

Post # 451
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

My expected due date was supposed to be today. Baby seems to have other plans…

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