Pregnancy After Loss and/or Trouble Conceiving Support Thread

posted 8 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 482
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4081 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

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@dianaj17:  Oh man, that sounds stressful!! I’m glad you have a good team and theyre on board with a gentle cesarian.. I had never heard of that until today. It sounds like the best of both worlds, but here’s hoping baby boy does one last cartwheel and you can go into labour naturally. 

I would be super surprised (and thrilled) if we found out we were having a girl! my Father-In-Law had been adament since the day we told him that it’s a girl but I feel like because I want a girl, its going to be a boy lol. Which is silly because I know ultimately, I will love a son just as much as a daughter. 

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@morecookiesplease:  I cant wait to see LO! Last time we saw baby, they were just a little blip with flashing heart! I hadnt heard from the ultrasound clinic so I called my dr yesterday and he hadn’t even sent the request off to the clinic yet! Ugh. Hopefully I’ll get a call soon now that he was sent a reminder. 

I’m 19+5 and I have been feeling lots of very light flutters and what feels like very short & mild period cramps. I’m assuming the cramps are little kicks because they only last a split second. I cant wait for it to get stronger so I can be sure thats what I’m feeling! We had a snow day yesterday due to a blizzard so I got a lot of things done around the house and a little snow shovelling. I made sure to take lots of breaks and eat every couple hours and just felt great all day! Today I feel rough; mild headache and very tired, so I think even with trying to take breaks, I still overdid it yesterday. This little kid is a great excuse for a messy house ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 483
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1149 posts
Bumble bee

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@dianaj17:  I’m glad you are feeling better about it! Hearing other experiences and having time to prepare makes such a difference. I can’t believe you’re only a couple of weeks away! I am feeling really good, thanks! 

Post # 484
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799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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@dianaj17:  I hear you on the names! We were exhausted choosing our first boy’s name ๐Ÿ˜‚ I’m sad I won’t get to use our girl name. My husband suggested we get a dog… I’m suggesting a third child haha. But imagine if it turned out to be THREE boys omg. Third would just be called “Baby Boy” forever more. 

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@morecookiesplease:  Thank you! Can’t believe I’ve reached the halfway point! 

Post # 485
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

How’s everyone doing this week?

Closing in on 38 weeks here, and the late pregnancy hormones are kicking my butt. My anxiety has been high the last week…he’s slowing down (plus breech), and I get so nervous about his movements. Whenever I get panicky enough to think about calling L&D, he throws me a bone and moves some. I’m just ready for him to be on the outside…it’s so hard being the person who has to constantly determine “is this normal or should we be worried.” At least once he’s out, DH (and others) can look at him and it’s not just me making those calls. I’m also sort of sad thinking about how it’ll never be just DH and I again. Logically, I know it’ll be even better, but since we’ve never had a kid before, it is suddenly seeming foreign and scary. I know it’s just the anxiety, but it’s wearing me down!

I have my 38 week appointment (a day early) tomorrow, and I’m also nervous about his position. I’ve driven myself crazy trying to figure out if he’s moved. If he is head-down, I’ll obviously be happy that we get another shot at the lower-intervention birth and easier recovery, but I’ll be sad that we have no idea when we’ll meet him (the thought of another 2-3 weeks sucks, but I definitely don’t want to be induced without medical necessity). If he hasn’t turned, I’ll be nervous about the surgery but also happy that we have an end date/know when we’ll meet him. I should be glass-half-full and consider it a win-win, but anxiety brain is making it feel like a lose-lose, lmao. 

Post # 486
Member
1208 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

Life has been crazy. Forgot to update. Baby was born on Halloween. I had a traumatic birth experience – emergency C-section with medical malpractice. To sum it up, my epidural didn’t take on the left side and I felt being cut open. The anesthesiologist didn’t believe me. I went into shock, hemorraghed and needed a blood transfusion and an iron infusion. Almost lost my uterus, as it wouldn’t contract. They worked on it for almost an hour. The C-section should have lasted 15min and lasted over 90. The CMO of the hospital came to see me and say he’d understand if I decide to sue. The anesthesiologist was put on a performance improvement plan and is currently  blacklisted. I developed acute stress disorder and am in therapy. My milk came in super late. I am not able to breastfeed, so I pump. Baby is healthy (love him with all my heart). I’m a mess.

Post # 487
Member
1208 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

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@dianaj17:  good luck to you! I think about you often.

Post # 488
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2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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@lifetimegoals:  oh bee, I am so so sorry. How heartbreaking to be dealing with something so traumatic when it should be the best time of your life. Be kind to yourself and ruthless with them. This is why malpractice is a thing, and I hope you and your lawyer get every penny you can. 

Post # 489
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

 

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@dianaj17:  you’re getting so close! Looking forward to your update soon! I bet you can’t wait to finally meet the little babe who’s been kicking and moving in there! It’s really the best feeling when you see him does the first time!

 

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@lifetimegoals:  omg bee I can’t believe you went through such a traumatic birth. I feel so terrible that you had to go through that, no one should. A friend of mine had something similar happen to her and she ended up in the ICU and almost died. Her uterus was removed during the whole situation but she and baby are now both happy and healthy. I am glad to hear you and baby are alive and bonding despite the difficulties you faced. I hope your therapy will help you and in time it won’t be something you focus on and instead the happy life with your baby will be what is remembered. Sending good vibes and prayers your way. 

Post # 490
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee

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@lifetimegoals:  Oh my goodness, how awful. Absolutely sue. I’m glad you are in therapy. I am also not able to breastfeed and have been pumping. I am disappointed that I can’t breastfeed, and pumping is hard! We have our daughter on a hypoallergenic formula now due to cows milk allergy and although I felt guilty about that, she is doing SO much better. Don’t let the “breast is best” make you feel bad; fed is best. You don’t need anything adding to your stress right now.

Post # 491
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

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@lifetimegoals:  oh bee, I am so sorry that this happened to you. That is just so unfair and horrible. I hope that therapy helps bring you peace. No one should ever have to go through that. Sending you many virtual hugs.

Post # 492
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

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@dianaj17:  you are soooo close!!! How was your appointment? Did baby move? Either way, you will be meeting him very soon! 

Post # 493
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2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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@morecookiesplease:  as of Wednesday, he was still VERY breech. My NP was an angel and brought me to the ultrasound room for a quick check, just to be sure. I’m still feeling a ton of hardness and pressure up under my ribs, so I’m thinking he probably hasn’t moved (it’s very unlikely at this stage, since we’re now in week 38). They’ll check again Wednesday morning at my 39 week appointment, and if he’s still breech, we head in at the crack of dawn Thursday. They’ll do one last ultrasound at that point, and if he still hasn’t moved (if he hasn’t moved yet I don’t think he’d move in 20ish hours lol, but I like that they check), we head in for the c-section around 7 am. 

I’m feeling okay about it, but definitely a little anxious. I’m preemptively very sad to not be pregnant anymore, which I think is a weird combination of post-loss anxiety and first-time-momness. Like, I keep telling myself that the trade off for no more kicks and no more belly is MY BABY, which I logically know will be incredible, but it doesn’t seem real. 

Post # 494
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

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@dianaj17:  ahhh good luck on Wednesday with the ultrasound!! Keep us updated! Isn’t it crazy to think that if he hasn’t moved, next week at this time you will be with your baby?!? I know what you mean about being sad that pregnancy is almost over, I think a lot of people feel that way! As much as I miss feeling him kick and move around in my belly, newborn baby snuggles are absolutely the best thing ever!

Post # 495
Member
1208 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

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@dianaj17:  
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@Cheekie0077:  
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@DogsAndWine:  

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@morecookiesplease:  thank you, ladies, for your kind words. I’m hanging in here, trying to navigate very complex emotions. My baby makes it all worth it. I can’t wait to be in a better mind space to be able to thoroughly enjoy him. Right now I alternate moments of feeling fine and moments of panic and the irrational feeling I’m in danger. I’ve been using grounding techniques with some level of success. ๐Ÿ™‚

I hope you are all doing well! I wish you all the best. I’m touched you took the time to write such thoughtful comments to me. Thank you, really, it means a lot.

Post # 496
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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@dianaj17:  havent been on WB in quite a while but wanted to check in and wish you luck this week! My c section is scheduled for  a week from tomorrow (Monday) and I can hardly believe it’s almost here. Feels like just yesterday we were anxiously waiting for our sticky BFPs and now we’re days away from welcoming our little ones! Wishing you all the best!

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