- 2 years ago
- Wedding: November 2016
Long, long time lurker and first time poster. I first started viewing the wedding-related boards while planning my wedding in 2016, and read the TTC/pregnancy boards when we began TTC at the end of last summer. I found so much valuable information and emotional support here (even as an observer) that I wanted to share my story in case it provides comfort or assistance to anyone else. Paying it forward, almost. Please be warned that parts of this post are graphic.
My husband and I are in our early 30s. We began TTC in August 2017 and became pregnant on the first cycle trying. We were ecstatic and could not believe our good luck. Since we are a bit older we assumed it would take some time. In late September at the 8.5 week appointment with the OBGYN, we had our first transvaginal ultrasound and learned that the baby was measuring two weeks behind at 6.5 weeks. There was a heartbeat, but it was erratic. The doctor was convinced I had my dates wrong because I had just come off BC (pill) and didn’t temp. Unfortunately, I knew something wasn’t right and that my dates could not possibly be THAT far off. I had only had minor pregnancy symptoms – extremely sore breasts and being thirsty all of the time. Also, during week 4, I had noticed one time when wiping a blood clot in the form of a line. I didn’t have implantation bleeding or anything….just a blood clot after the baby would have already been implanted. I just had that feeling that this wasn’t working out but tried to be optimistic for my husband.
We went for a follow up ultrasound the following week, and the baby had shrunk in size and the fetal pole had begun disintegrating. I had had a missed miscarriage. Because at this point I should have been 9.5 weeks, my doctor let me know my options for waiting, having a D&C, or trying to miscarry with the help of Cytotec/Misoprostal. I opted for the drugs because I wanted to get it over with and also have a high deductibe insurance plan. A surgical D&C with anethesia would have been upwards of $5,000 out of pocket, possibly more.
***graphic language below***
My husband I prepared for the miscarriage by purchasing supplies like gatorade, super max pads, crackers, etc. and I took a couple of days off of work. Per my doctor, I took 800mg of Cytotec vaginally and then waited for it to start. Unfortunately, the only thing the Cytotec did was anger my IBS, and caused absolutely horrifying diarrhea, vomiting and the most intense stomach pains I’ve ever had. The following day, Friday, with no progress on inducing miscarriage, I took a second 800mg dosage of the Cytotec vaginally, experiencing again the God awful side effects of diarrhea, vomiting and stomach cramps. After waiting a few hours, I called the doctor’s office and let them know that nothing was happening and asked what my options were before they closed for the weekend. They offered me an in-office D&C, sans anethesia, or the full-on D&C surgery. I opted for the in-office procedure. My doctor advised me to take the narcotics she had prescribed as a just-in-case and head into the office immediately.
The in-office D&C took about 15 minutes and I would be lying if I said it wasn’t painful. It was incredibly uncomfortable. But, as soon as it was over the pain disappeared. The doctor also managed to remove the Cytotec from my vagina and my stomach instantly felt better. My husband and I went home and rested.
I bled for about a week….a few days of heavy-ish bleeding with clots that got lighter as time went on. The MMC, failed Cytotec and in-office D&C is not something I can do again. Such a small percentage of women have a MMC in the first place, and two full doses of Cytotec are supposed to work for 90%+ of women. I still don’t understand why neither my body nor the drugs worked like they were supposed to.
I got my first period 5 weeks after the miscarriage, and it was one of the heaviest periods of my life but I was so, so grateful to have my body functioning normally again.
***end of graphic language***
The Cytoctec packaging warned that it could create birth defects in babies and that you should wait at least 30 days before TTC. We tried the following cycle, but I didn’t think I ovulated. I didn’t have EWCM and just didn’t think my body was back to normal.
A few weeks later, I started getting a sharp, stabbing pain on my right ovary that progressed in severity over the course of the day. By the evening, I had knife-like pain every time I coughed, laughed, breathed deeply, etc. I texted my doctor to ask if this could be a belated side effect of the D&C, and she said absolutely not, and that it sounded like it might be appendictis. Awesome. Using Google my husband and I tried a few old school tests to figure out if it was appendicits and determined it probably was not. Again, I have a high insurance deductible with a $6k+ out of pocket limit so I wanted to avoid going to the hospital if it wasn’t necessary. The next morning I woke up and started having spotting. I went to the doctor a week later and we concluded that I had an ovarian cyst rupture, which can mimic the signs of appendicitis. My hormones were all out of whack following the miscarriage and that may have contributed to the growth of a large cyst. It felt like the drama just wouldn’t end. So frustrating, when all I wanted was my body to bounce back so we could get pregnant again!
We tried BDing again in December and nothing. Then in January, we BD’ed every day of my fertile window and I was pretty sure I knew the date I ovulated. We tested this past Saturday, two days before my period was due, and got a faint but clear BFP.
I actually knew I was pregnant this cycle, as I knew I was pregnant the first time back in September. Both times, one day after ovulation, my breasts felt sore and progressively got sorer. I know many people say that you can’t experience pregnancy symptoms until implantation, and logically I understand that to be true, but both cycles I got pregnant I had sore breasts immediately after ovulation. Usually my breasts get sore just a couple of days before my period comes.
We have a 6 week prenatal appointment in about 10 days and my doctor is giving me an ultrasound for peace of mind. Of course anything can happen at any time, but she wants to make sure we find out ASAP if this is a viable pregnancy. I feel in my bones it is. Though I am 5 weeks tomorrow, I have more nausea/fatigue/bloating/breast soreness/irritability than I had the first time. And, I did not have any blood clots.
We are being cautiously optimistic. We were burned so badly by the last experience that I can’t get my hopes up yet. We are private people, so we didn’t tell our families what happened. My small group of colleagues knows, and a couple of close girlfriends, but that’s it. We don’t want to cause the people we love pain and anyway, it is now in the past.
We feel so lucky to have become pregnant again, though I can’t believe how much time went by. We were supposed to have a baby due in April, and now we have a baby due in October. Life is funny and I hope, kind. All we can do is wait.
It was cathartic for me to write this post and I hope whoever reads it can get something out of it: information about one person’s experience with miscarriage/D&C, TTC after a miscarriage, early pregnancy symptoms, etc. I am hopeful for the best for us and for all of you on our paths forward.