(Closed) Pregnancy and lack of filter in conversations

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@bijou214:  My grandma asked a similar question, “when did this happen”. My response “Well, grandma, if I knew you were that interested, we would have taken pictures”. She got the point and we all laughed.

 

I really hate when people ask about my work plans after the baby. While I realize it is a normal question, I still feel judged for being a stay at home mom.

 

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@cherrypie:  I have the opposite problem. I just assume that 99% of the people who ask how I’m doing (with that special voice they use when they want you to know they are really asking about the pregnancy), are just being polite so I give a polite response “Great, just the normal pregnant lady complaints”. My DH thinks I should be more open and share, which I do when it is good news (like U/S or kicks), but I really don’t think most people what to hear me complain about back aches, insomnia, stress with weight gain, and the 3 hour glucose test. I can’t believe that is an actual fight we had!

 

Post # 18
Member
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What really irritates me is when people feel the need to comment on my weight.  Pre pregnancy, I was average weight for my height and my OB says my weight gain is right on track, but every time I walked into work I got “OMG! You’re huge!” Why, thank you, I needed to hear that because I already don’t feel enough like a beached whale!

Oh, and my aunt (who I do adore!) feels the need to make comments every time I see her. The first thing out of her mouth is usually “Woah! You look so big!” And last week I went to lunch with my mom, cousin, and aunt for my birthday.  I hadn’t eatten before lunch, so I was starving.  I had a salad and I’m not going to lie, I made that salad my bitch and finished before everybody else.  My aunt looked at me and goes “Geeze! You devoured that salad! I can’t believe you ate that fast!”

 

And what’s with people thinking that once there is a baby in your stomach, your personal space goes out the window!? The only people I let touch my stomach is my husband and my OB.  Yesterday at church when I was leaving, some friends of my mom came over to say hi and both ladies had their hands on my stomach before saying anything! They were poking and pushing saying “let’s see if we can get this baby out soon!” Then…one of them GRABBED MY BOOB and goes “Yeah! She’s ready!” W. T. F!?!

Post # 19
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I can’t work out if it’s my in-laws or me.

When we called them to let them know I was 5 weeks (so EARLY) his mum laughed and said “are you sure, we thought you were pregnant at the wedding!” which was 4 weeks ago, and was heartbreaking to hear because I worked SO HARD to lose injury and steroid weight for the wedding. I felt self conscious enough on the day as it is and I was devastated to hear that people were abuzz thinking I was already pregnant enough to show. I was weighing 158lb at 5’7. Hardly fat. 

Then his dad started asking lots of jokey questions about time of conception and ‘was it planned’. Like, really? It might be a wedding night baby, but do we really need to talk about it? 

Post # 20
Member
1031 posts
Bumble bee

People always ask me if it was planned. Seriously everyone! The doctor (which I can understand) my hairdresser, friends, family, coworkers…. WTF?

I’m 27 (even if I look 17), we’ve been married over a year, lived together for over two, been together for over five, never made it a secret that we want(ed) children……. why are you surprised about it?

I also hate when people ask me when I’m going to have another one. Can I get this one out first?

My girlfriend was funny when I told her she screamed and said “I have so many questions…. like how did this happen?” ummm well it’s was a drunken August night……

I was standing behind two ladies (50s) at Wal-Mart when one looked at me, leans over to her friend and not so quietly says “Can you believe kids today? Another pregnant teen.” her friend looks behind her at me, and shakes her head. I was floored, and very loudly said “Yes ladies I am pregnant, I’m also 27 and married b****!”

*disclaimer* I really do not mean to offend anyone with my view of dating-marriage-kids, it is how it worked out for me and I realize that is not the progression for everyone.

Post # 21
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@Fall_In_Love22:  you have got to be kidding me…seriously, WTF is right. the nerve of some wackos…. 

Post # 22
Bee
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

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@PoppyH:  That is the best back-handed, unintentional compliement. Holy hell, I wish someone would mistake me for a teenager. When I was 13 (in 1998) and my mom had my youngest sister, I used to push her in the stroller and people thought she was mine. That was effed up.

Post # 23
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Narrawallee reserve/beach & Mollymook golf club

@mixtaperomance:  I mentioned one day at work that my back was hurting and some old cow with a lady-mullet who I was working with said in front of everyone “Well I guess next time you and Andy should remember to use a condom!”. I just glared at her and said “This baby was planned. We struggled to get to this point. Just because I’m hurting, doesn’t mean that I don’t want him.”
At the end of the day I don’t really care what other people have to say. For every bad thought about this baby there are a million good ones from the people who are really going to matter in his life, and they’re the comments that I pay the most attention to 🙂 

Post # 24
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

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@Fall_In_Love22:  omg that is freakin ridiculous!!!

Post # 25
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I haven’t had any comments yet that I’ve found to be weird but only immediate family and our closest friend’s know. I really don’t understand “was it planned” when someone is married!? My assumption is always that if you’re married you did that on purpose! lol

Post # 26
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

A coworker of mine asked the pregnant daughter of another coworker if she was “going to get fixed” after this one. Oh yeah…classy.

Post # 27
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I can’t belive how many people (friends, family, strangers, co-workers) have asked if “it was planned”…. really none of your business!

Also, I’ve had one girl ask me “Is your DH even excited?”, Umm what?!  No, he’s crying in a corner by himself! Of course he’s excited you bitch!

Or the are you finding out?  If I respond yes, i get “so there’ll be no surprise?”  I’m pretty sure it’s a surprise no matter when you find out.

Last one – my brother came over the other day, walked in and the first thing he says to me “Holy shit, you’re getting fat”  Gee, thanks!  Just what I needed to hear!  Douche canoe!

Post # 29
Member
2810 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m pretty laid back, so most of the silly questions I like answering.

However, I was in the waitingroom at the hospital for an ultrasound (I had kidney problems, my DD was IUGR).

While waiting, an older lady started asking me the usual “do you know what you’re having” etc. questions.

Then she says, “have you had a lot of problems with this pregnancy?”

For some reason, it just rubbed me the wrong way, I almost lost it. I was there for an ultrasound due to all the complications, and mentally exhausted because of them. Maybe I reacted with a little more sensitivity than I should have, but I just said, “yes,” and luckly I was called in for my US right after.

Our DD was also conceived while we were planning our wedding, so I post-poned our wedding date. When I told a former co-worker that we’d be doing that she said,”Oh…Urchin..are you sure??” (Implying that I NEEDED to get married before having the baby.)

Post # 30
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

UGH I am dreading the “was it planned” question…YES, yes I woke up one morning and thought, “hey, I should have a baby with my boyfriend of 8 months, we should have unprotected sex tonight” 

 I am 30 years old and in a very committed, loving relationship…a committed, loving relationship that is not going to involve marriage anytime soon but needs to include babies sooner rather than later anyway due to my own physical issues. Was this baby planned? Hell no. Are we crazy excited anyway? yes. Would we have started trying WITHOUT marriage in the next year? probably.

What I am dreading more than anything is the comments that my students will make. They are in 5th and 6th grade and know full well that I am not married. 

 

Post # 31
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

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@rachiebabie:  omg I’m super in love with the phrase douche canoe. I will will calling my brother that immediately!

 

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