Post # 17
I think that if you have to give up your motorcycle then your SO does too. The life of both partners is important. I don’t think that I would ride a motorcycle after I have a baby just because it is really dangerous and I wouldn’t want to purposefully put myself in a dangerous situation if I could prevent it. But regardless, like I said, it’s either both of you or none of you giving up the bike.
Post # 18
Whatever you choose it should be even-handed. It’s awful of him to ask you to give up your bike when he doesn’t have to for whatever reason. Like oh, we have to keep mom safe, but it’s fine if dad dies in a horrible motorcycle crash? No way!
Personally I’ve ridden them and I feel like they’re deathtraps, I think you should both sell them, but if he’s not selling his, I see no reason you should have to sell yours either.
Post # 19
there are many risky things that we do on a daily basis even with children. if i were you, i wouldn’t sell
Post # 20
I would say it’s a reasonable request, but not a reasonable demand. I am terrified of motorcycles and would be very scared if Fiance rode them after he became a father. He always threatens me now that he’s going to get one, but so far nothing.
I think it’s easy for cars to miss motorcycles so it makes me nervous that he would be injured or killed.
Post # 21
Total double standard! Why is it always women who are on the receiving end of this type of thing?
Post # 22
That is a ridiculous request and a huge double standard. IMO, I think it’s also ridiculous to expect someone to not take any risks because they’re a parent – there are risks in life on the daily. I also, personally, don’t belive that bikes are as much of a danger as they’re made out to be. It’s all about taking precaution. Reagardless of anyone elses’ opinion though, this is your decision, no one elses.
Post # 23
It is totally reasonable for him to want you to get rid of your bike when you get pregnant, but only if he is going to get rid of his too!
Post # 24
I don’t disagree with his logic but I think he should have to sell his bike too if he feels that strongly about you not riding yours after having children. He can’t expect you to give it up if he’s unwilling to do the same. That’s just too hypocritical and I don’t fault you for being perturbed.
Just my opinion though. I’m terrified of motorcycles. I recognize my fear of the tipping over while moving is totally irrational but they just scare me. Husband makes noises about getting one from time to time. He used to have one but sold it before we met. I’ve told him to please don’t. I’m of the opinion that motorcycles are for when you’re young and single. Not when you have others depending on you. Just my opinion though.
Post # 25
I competely understand his thinking. Riding can of course be dangerous and you want to be as careful as you can when you have a baby!
BUT how dare he insist that YOU have to get rid of your bike but that he has to do no such thing -__-
Post # 26
@joya_aspera: “Yeah, it’s reasonable of him. His view is that when you risk your life now, it’s not only your own life that could be destroyed… you have a family to be responsible for. Marriage and children means we have to be less selfish in general.“
I read this and thought “Seriously! She thinks it’s ‘reasonable’ for him to make her sell her bike and he can keep his and she’s being selfish!! Double standards much”
Then I read this:
“Oh, but yeah, he has to get rid of his bike too. WTF is he thinking, that it’s ok for him to be selfish like that, when he knows it’s not ok for you? I’d be angry about that. Like you and the kids don’t need him as much as he and they need you. How stupid of him.“
And I agree completely!
Post # 27
I don’t think just cause you have kids you have to give up what you enjoy! Maybe just try to take extra precautionary measures like not riding at night or getting bright colored, reflective gear. My boyfriends plan is to stroll up to pick the kids up from school in some machine from hell that makes all the other kids cry lol, one of his many “creative” parenting ideas. Along with bringing a beer to a PTA meeting. I pray he’s just all talk or else it’s gonna be an interesting road. But anyways I would never tell him to give up his bike cause he loves it and it is apart of who he is. I say do what you love, theres no perfect way to parent or prevent all injurys. You should decide if its worth the risk
Post # 28
- Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017
It’s not reasonable that only you should have to give up the bike. It should be both or neither.
Post # 29
That is ridiculous. If his reasoning is because you are a mother – then he is also a father! Both are integral parts in a child’s life. That would be a big fat NO if my husband said I should sell my hypothetical bike.
Post # 30
Nope. Bullshit double standard. You either both keep the bike or both get rid of the bike. This is the same hypocrisy that led to BOTH of my grandmothers being guilted into not learning to drive by my grandfathers. They both got the line of “well, I’ll teach you, but it’s so dangerous. What if something happened to you? Worse, what if the kids were in the car and something happened? I think it’s better you just stay home but if you want to risk it…” That was in 1955 and it was uncool then and they were both pissed about it for the next 60 years. Obviously you’re not going to ride around with a baby on the bike but it’s the same sentiment and it’s crap.