Post # 1
So I was offered this really cool job, and while it’s pretty much a done deal, it’s never final until the contract is signed, which can take weeks.
I was 6 weeks when I had my interview, now I’m at 9 weeks… When should I tell my future boss about this? And HOW?? I don’t want to give him the impression that I hid it from him.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2018 - Our home and the two acres it sits on
Wait to get the promotion. It sounds unethical, but it’s not. You’re just protecting yourself (and them) from the option of discrimination.
When you tell them, just point out that you weren’t through first trimester and thus not telling anyone other than close family. 🙂
Post # 4
Its not an ethical argument in my mind, its starting off on the right foot. You can make the argument that it is too soon to tell before 12 weeks, which is reasonable. But my bias would be to tell them the truth before you accept (once you have the offer in hand, not before!) because if it were me, I would feel like someone was keeping something from me if they didn’t tell me (even though it is within their right not to tell) and I think it would start things out on shaky footing. If you tell them and they balk, well maybe that tells you something you might want to know before you start – because you ARE going to have this baby, and if they aren’t supportive, better to know now……
Post # 5
Personally, I would tell me boss my first day on the job. You’re probably doing paperwork/orientation/etc… that day anyway, so I think it’s a good time to mention your pregnancy and future leave.
Professionally… I’ve had expectant mothers tell me (I work in HR) as late as 20 weeks, and it’s no big deal. Four or five months is plenty of time for us to go through all the leave info and for their supervisor to arrange temps/whatever during their leave. It’s up to you and your comfort level. Unless you are working in dangerous circumstances, you don’t really need to tell them until you’re ready.
Post # 6
There’s no right answer.
You’re allowed to be pregnant and work so there’s no reason you have to tell until you want to. People give 6 week notices, so giving a 6 month notice that you’ll be out for a month should be manageable for where you’re working. Honestly, I’d protect myself first, which means having the promotion in hand before you say anything. And when you do tell, don’t just tell one boss/manager but also notify HR and other people. Although it’s illegal to discriminate against pregnant women it can and does happen.
Post # 7
Congrats on the promotion. As for what I did when I took a promotion, I told my future boss during the interview. No, it’s not what people say to do, but I felt that it was the right thing. In the end, I got the promotion. In your case, wait until you have the paperwork just in case.
Post # 8
@troubled: 6 weeks notice for a month’s leave is manageable; however where I work, we get one year leave… So it’s kind of a big deal.
I didn’t want to tell before I’m at 12 weeks and the risks of miscarriage are lower, because then if I don’t get the job because of it AND I lose the baby, well I have nothing left but my husband and my old job.
Even if it’s illegal to discriminate because of pregnancy and I would have recourse if it happens, it is really not my priority to put up a fight, I’d rather concentrate on having a happy pregnancy.
Post # 9
I learned the hard way, don’t tell your boss you’re pregnant on your first day. He/she will automatically be thinking “Shit, I have to replace someone I just hired?!”. (I got fired on my 3rd day for calling in to say I’d be a few minutes late due to car accident that blocked the road)
Post # 10
I would wait until you have a finalized contract. I work in small office (I’m not covered by FMLA) and when they found out I was pregnant, I was in the process of being promoted. I wish I had something in writing prior to telling them, because I feel it has been used against me in both the timing of taking the promotion and salary negotiations.
Post # 10
Hmmmm… is it a totally new job at a new company, or a promotion at your current company?
If it is a totally new job, I would just wait and announce it around 14 weeks. You can say that your doc recommended you wait to tell everyone after the first trimester, etc.
If it is a promotion, then I would at least wait until you get the job offer in hand, and all of the details in writing (signed contract, confirmed raise, etc). Then, I would take the final contract (or whatever paper work you have to provide) into your boss and say “I wanted to give you this last bit of paperwork. I’m very excited about this new opportunity. I wanted to let you know that I am x weeks pregnant. I am telling you this up front, as soon as my doctor told me it was ok to tell everyone, because I want you to know how serious I am about this job. You can count on me to do the job you hired me for, and I look forward to working very hard up until my due date. I also want to ensure you that I plan on [you don’t have to say you guarantee it, just in case, but say you plan on it] coming back after my maternity leave, and just wanted to be up front with you.”
That way, you have the promotion and everything is settled. I don’t think anyone can fault you for waiting to tell this information until after the promotion is settled. You are the only one who is looking out for YOU… your boss is going to look out for himself/herself, as is everyone else. It’s just business, and you are doing what you consider a smart business move for yourself.
Good luck! I’d love to hear what you decide to do!
Post # 11
Wait till at least 13 weeks. That’s a reasonable time to wait due to the risk of miscarriage – you shouldn’t feel like you have to tell them sooner just because it’s a new job (I waited til 18 weeks with my work).
Personally I’d want to get a month into the job so they could see that they’d hired the right person before mentioning it – otherwise there may be some tension.
Win them over first, then tell them. It shows that your pregnancy won’t effect your work ethic. Plus 6 mos is TONS of time.
Post # 12
@futuremrshc: Wow. Did you do anything about it?
Post # 13
@mommytobee: Wow a year, that’s pretty nice, are you in Canada?
You’re right that does change things a bit having a year rather than 6 weeks, I’m not sure of the etiquette in that situation. But I just want to echo what some of the other girls have said and say telling my boss about my pregnancy changed how they treated me in a big way. Since they were starting up new almost everyone needed to be trained and I was already fully trained in everything they did so they treated me like their little golden child and everyone else like crap. Once I said I was pregnant it was a 180 in their temperment towards me. Stuck on extremely unpregnancy friendly projects (I work with biohazard stuff), our meetings changed to Saturdays and they’d show up 2-1/2 hours late, every Friday they’d have ‘last minute things’ that needed to be taken care of until midnight. So I ended up leaving, which I’m pretty sure is what they wanted. So just be careful and make sure you don’t just tell one boss when you do tell so any change in behavior has a few more checks to it.
Post # 14
@kay01: I tried. I opened a case with the Texas Labor Board but my boss claimed he didn’t know I was pregnant and that I was late every day. He fudged my time sheet, too. He efficiently convinced the state Labor Board, that was it.
The funniest part about it all was the way he acted when I called in. He tried to get me to promise that I would NEVER be late to work again. He actually fired me over the phone, but I still showed up to turn in the brand new uniform (no way I’m paying $40 for it!) and I still got there before the person who was supposed to “cover my shift”.
Post # 15
You are not obligated to tell. I waited until my second trimester before I shared with anyone and interviewed for my current job at 12 weeks pregnant… I told them at about 24 weeks, but my mat leave was happening at my old job, so I didn’t think I had to tell. Guess I could have, but I didn’t want it to color their perception of my seriousness about my career.