We’re about to go into our 11th cycle trying. The first few months, it was, “I could be pregnant any moment!” 3 to 6 months, it was, “Hmm, considering we’re using OPKs and I apparently ovulate every month, this is taking longer than I thought.” 6 to 9 months was really hard and full of, “Why me?” and preliminary visits for testing. Cycle 10 onward is now, “I’m losing hope that I’m ever going to get pregnant.” Not rational — odds are I likely will, though maybe there is something more severe wrong with one or both of us — but it’s how I feel.
I had to deal with my first close-ish pregnancy announcement the other day. An old high school friend that I see on and off-line has posted little ‘teasers’ about her pregnancy for the last month; she had something to share, but couldn’t share it yet; her stomach is hurting SOOOO bad; she’s excited for *something* 8 months away (…Hmm, +1 month before finding out about pregnancy..), and then finally, posted multiple pictures of her positive test, etc.
This girl has been dating this guy for 6 months and she’s extremely unstable. Every other day, she’s blissfully happy, then she wants to kill herself and her mom. She complains forevermore about her ex (father of her other kid) and posts all sorts of childish, juvenile crap about him. She lives with her mom, lives off of government assistance, doesn’t work, etc. Her boyfriend pushes carts at a grocery store for a living.
I had to avoid her Facebook profile (and her) for a day or two until I could recollect my composure. Then I went on her profile again, wrote a quick, “So happy for you, congrats, many wishes as your family grows,”or something cheesy like that. Then I was off the hook for acknowledging it any more.
I did sit there and think, “I have been trying for a baby longer than this girl’s known her boyfriend. Now she’s 2 months pregnant. I’m financially and emotionally stable, in a committed, long-term relationship.”
But I was proud of myself. I’m SO glad it was a friend before it’s a relative. I heard that one of my SILs was planning to start trying again in December, so I imagine in a few months I’ll be fielding her announcement. On the plus side, she lives far away, so it will probably be by phone…so I can recollect myself more easily.
But…it’s hard. I think it’s always going to be hard. I don’t enjoy it, but I do the best I can.