(Closed) Pregnancy Envy??

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 32
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

I wish I were just a little bit older, so that I would be an acceptable age (in my own opinion) to be pregnant and have a family! I’m always so jealous of the girls I’m friends with on FB, WB and IRL that are pregnant and starting families. 

Post # 33
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Omg, I have baby fever so bad!! I would love to start ttc right after the wedding, but Fiance and I have decided to hold off for about a year. Hopefully, that’s all it is! lmao …I feel like everytime I get on fb another one of my friends is posting they’re expecting. Ugghh! The worst one was one of my FI’s friends (whom we’re close with) got prego right after their wedding. I knew she wanted a girl and go figure, the name her and her DH loved for a girl is the same name I’ve wanted for a little girl for years (and it helps that it’s the only name Fi and I agree on lol). I was so happy to find out they were having a boy, because it meant if we had a girl first I’d have dibs on the name haha.. though I felt terrible for even thinking that way bc all that matters is that the baby is healthy. Anyway, now with waiting and them wanting to have their kids close together it’ll totally bum me out if their next one is a girl.. ;-/

Post # 34
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@SoontobeSelwood:  I deal with this every.single.day. I work with two women who are pregnant. One was an oopsie baby (it was a big drama) and the other started trying months after DH and I. She even told me, “Oh, you’ll be next!” (We’ve been trying for ten cycles–eleven months.) Which is probably the worst thing you can tell a woman who’s trying! Some days, I’m fine. Then other days, I feel like my heart is being yanked out of my chest when I see someone I know with a baby bump, or someone else announcing. I try so, so hard not to be jealous of it because, hell, I know how it feels to want it so badly. But at the same time, I just can’t help it!

 

Post # 35
Member
4424 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’m not so much jealous of anyone pregnant, but more of in awe. I think it is such an incredible thing and amazing what is going on. I had some pretty bad baby fever that wouldn’t stop, but my husband and I talked and moved our TTC date from May 2016 to May 2015! That helped A LOT. Now I have a clear visual of that time and am enjoying all of the free time we have together and I have alone before that date gets here. 

Post # 36
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I can’t say that I’ve ever experienced those feelings, but I am on the receiving end of those feelings and it’s quite hurtful and unfortunate. 🙁 

This is with a close family member who has been trying with no success. We’ve probably talked about the pregnancy a total of 2 times (including me sending her a text giving her a heads up because I did not want her to have to react happily if confronted when I knew she’d be upset).

We’ve talked when forced to due to face-to-face presence but it was NEVER anything about her being excited for us…it probably lasted 2 minutes, but since then, not a peep from her (I’m 5 months). And I know that she’s hurting. But this is my first and I’ve felt quite isolated and have been having a hard time being outwardly ‘excited’ in front of other people fearing similar reactions and end of friendships. For example, we never ‘announced’ our pregnancy, we told select ppl and told them feel free to spread the word around 15 weeks. There has been no fb announcement in fear of hurting her feelings as well.

And for people who would suggest to perhaps share my feelings with her, I’m not ready for that. I know if I do, it will be an open invitation for her to let loose. And I really just want to be in a happy, content, and excited place about this pregnancy. If it weren’t a close family memember, it would be easier to let go of, or completely forget the ‘friendship’ — however, family is forever. 

I think it’s totally understandable to be jealous of someone elses pregnancy, but just realize that if it’s a good friend or family member, they can probably tell how you feel.  And when you’re pregnant, you will want the support of your close friends and family without judgement, envy, or jealousy during what’s supposed to be such a special intimate time. So if you can, keep those feelings closeted and your friends and family which be so much more likely to support rock stars like you bees when you have your struggles and successes. 

Post # 38
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m not necessarily jealous…just ready. It’s like I spent 29 years of my life trying to finally come to this decision that I’m ready to stop BC, and now the waiting is annoying, I just want to get on with it!

Post # 39
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have never, EVER felt jealous of a pregnant person! Even though some days I think I might want kids, the pregnancy part of it just sounds terrible. 

Post # 40
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

So I was having a perfectly lovely Saturday, one of the best days I’ve had in a long time, and BOOM, SIL posts her baby bump to Facebook, announcing her pregnancy. As I mentioned in my earlier comment, I’ve been secretly dreading this moment for two months now and while I’m happy for her, my whole mood has deflated since I saw that. Epic, EPIC sigh. Where’s the wine?

Post # 41
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Oh absolutely, I would looove to be pregnant right now and starting my family. I know deep down that now is not the right time but hopefully this time next year I will be. It’s so hard waiting. Once the thought crossed my mind. it’s never really left my brain! I think about it often. 

Post # 42
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yeah, there’s some envy here and there for sure.

Im still pretty young (24) and we’re waiting until we’re married and settled in a house (like, 2 more years now) All my friends have babies and my bestfriend who has barely known her man for a year is pregnant (unexpectedly) sometimes I feel guilty about being jealous of that one but I mean.. She barely even knows what she wants. And it’s hard to wait and wonder while everyone else is making babies.

I deal though. My time will hopefully come and for now, I know I am making the right choices. My body and mind ache for babies though. All the frickin time.

Post # 43
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

A friend of mine at dance class left in a jealous huff when she saw a fellow dance come in with a lovely round tum.    I followed my friend out and she cried out “Why can’t that be me.   I am ready for a baby.” 

I gave her a hug and said in time a baby will come to you.

Post # 44
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

View original reply
@Big Truck:  I understand how you feel. We haven’t had a baby on any side of my family for at least five years. We’ve been trying for so long and i think that my SIL is ttc, and will be first. She already has a kid but had waited so long at this point that we didn’t know if they’d try again, so I was hoping it would be our turn now. In another side of my family, a cousin recently announced, and she is one of those people who always wants attention. I would be happier if we hasn’t been trying for months and months before she got it on her first try. Ugh. Can we share a bottle of wine???

Post # 45
Member
1859 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yep, I do definitely get the pregnancy/baby envy… especially since we’ve told people we aren’t going to be thinking about starting a family until after a big trip we’re taking in June. So people don’t know we’re trying, and then keep making comments about pregnancy and asking if I’m pregnant (even though we said we weren’t going to try!!) and I just want to scream at them – “You don’t even know how badly I would LOVE to be pregnant right now!!!!!”

Ugh… ok.. I feel a little better.. 🙂

Post # 46
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Jacksonville Inn

I wish I had some great advice on how to deal with this. I am 37 and in my past relationship my ex partner and I TTC for a long time. I have PCOS and Endometriosis and after many attempts at IUI with medications and injections plus several surgeries I had 2 early miscarriages. Now I am engaged to the love of my life and I had a hysterectomy 6 months ago due to severe chronic pelvic pain from my endo. I will never have a big baby belly, or see if my babies would look like my Grammy. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. I would never wish this type of pain on anyone because it’s just unending grief. Every new pregnancy, every new baby just rips the wound open all over again. We are trying to decide if we will adopt or not. My partner is 43 and had rheumatoid arthritis, she is worried about being active enough to be a good Mom. I am jealous of women who can have babies, I wish I were one of them.

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