Post # 16
The problem is that really there’s just no way to know how it will happen for you until you start trying. Plenty of people in their early 20’s get pregnant ASAP, while others struggle. Yes, the older you are, the harder it usually is, but that doesn’t mean it will automatically be hard.
For me? I’m 32 and it’ been hard. Meanwhile I have a friend who is 35 and pregnant with baby #4….they just seem to walk out of her at this point.
I’ve been actively TTC a year (with 2.5 years of not preventing beore that) with 1 loss. We will start TTC again as soon as I’m cleared. After we had NTNP for 2.5 years with no prenancy, I had a sneaking feeling that we’d had problems even once we were actively TTC. Sure enough it took a year to actually get pregnant, and then it ended in an Ectopic. I had my IUD removed, and for the whole 2.5 years we were not preventing I tracked my cycles. As soon as we started to actively TTC I did OPK’s to confirm ovulation. Blood tests and an SA for my DH all came back normal. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason.
Post # 17
I got pregnant with my first about 3 weeks before turning 38. No issues conceiving (took about 5 months of actually trying). No issues in my pregnancy. My OB has never said the words “advanced maternal age” or “geriatric pregnancy” to me. About 6 months before TTC, I did have a blood ftest that tested my ovarian reserve. The results were normal, which I think really eased my mind and made me not stress over TTC.
Post # 18
It’s really very personal to each couple. I got married at 35 and we’ve been trying close to a year now, started seeing an RE after 6 months of trying and the problem is pretty much DH. If we were younger we could go on trying naturally for awhile and hope for the best but because of my age we’re going to try IUI next month. But on the other hand a lot of my friends have had pregnancies in their 30s no problem. Our issues are not age related that we know but it’s also possible that the combination of my older eggs with his not so great sperm adds to it. I just suggest when you do start trying don’t wait too long to see an RE if you don’t get pregnant right away.
Post # 19
Thank you ladies, this is all such great information. I know each person is different and you really won’t know until you try, so it’s all kind of a crap shoot, but I think we as women get used to this societal pressure that constantly says “Over 30, you’re done as a woman, say bye bye to a family!” It’s really hard when your life just doesn’t play out the way that you think. I feel really heartened to hear such wonderful stories of families starting later than what we traditionally think of as “prime” baby-making age. It just didn’t happen for me, I was stuck in a dead-end relationship and spent way more time there than I should have.
I’m seeing my gyno this summer, what sort of testing should I ask for that’s not super invasive or intense, but maybe just a “fertility lite” kind of testing? We’re not even engaged yet, and like I said, it’s sort of far off (at least a year I’m thinking), but I’d still like to sort of know what I’m working with, I just don’t know what the process looks like.
Post # 20
The test I took is referred to as the Cycle Day 3 test. It’s a blood test. ETA – it tests hormone levels. Maybe I didn’t have my ovarian reserve tested after all. Anyway, I had normal results with the Day 3 test.
Post # 21
I pregnant now, and am due one month before I turn 30. I do want more than 1 child, and would prefer to space them out, so in all likely I’ll be TTC again well into my 30s too (so reading this thread for future reference). My mom was almost 34 when she had me and was 42 when she had my baby sister- no problems with either pregnancy. I’m pretty sure my sister wasn’t exactly planned, and the doctors definitely took extra procautions because of her age (she had to have an amno for down syndrome testing)- evertyhing came out well and she has never had any health or social issues at any point in her life (she is 20 now).
I know people all over the age spectrum who have had no trouble getting pregnant and people all over the age spectrum with issues. Like others said on here, it is just one piece of the puzzle, and there is no way of knowing unless you try. Unless you have a suspected issue (irregular periods, or PCOS, or family history) most doctors won’t test you for fertility unless you’ve been trying a full year if you are under 35, or 6 months if you over 35. An average couple given perfect timing still only has a 20% chance of becoming pregnant each cycle- so it can take a while even if there aren’t any issues. There are genetic testing available if you are concerned that you or your partner carry a gene you don’t want to pass on (however these tests are expensive and not always covered- so not everyone does them). I would go off the pill (if you are on it) long before you start to try so that your body is adjusted and ready to go. I think if you are committed to having a family, then it will happen for you- the path to acheive that is pretty difficult to predict, but it will happen.
Post # 22
In my early 20s, I conceived my first while on the pill and my second right after I gave birth, before AF even returned. So both times I conceived very easily. Now, I’m in my mid-30s and it’s been about a year with no luck. We did conceive once but miscarried at 10 weeks. The first few months we NTNP, but over the last we cycles we’ve really tried and still nothing. Based on all that, I suppose I do blame my age just a little. My mom had a “surprise” at 40 though.
Post # 23
- Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman
I got pregnant at 33 on the first try and gave birth at 34, no complications and a very healthy pregnancy and baby. One of the reasons we eloped instead of planning a big wedding was to get a jump start on TTC since we had no idea how long it might take (we got very lucky). We plan to TTC #2 when I’m 35.
Post # 24
I have a family history of extremely high fertility. My great-grandma, grandma, and mom all conceived naturally/accidentally in their 40s and my older sister had two children in her late 30s with absolutely NO trying (barely had sex, doesn’t even know what an OPK is, etc). Despite this I was terrified that I was infertile since I’d been on BC for forever and had never had one pregnancy scare, I was convinced I was going to the one who had trouble conceiving. When we finally did try I didn’t have any trouble conceiving at all (I did have a MC but that was just bad luck). What I’m trying to say is that spending all that time being scared about my fertility was so pointless and looking back I wish that I hadn’t wasted my time and energy.
You could always go get a checkup and have some hormone testing done (if the doctor will do it) but I would say try not to worry and just take it when it comes. When you do start trying you could use OPKs and acupuncture and anything and everything else and if nothing happens by 6 months you could seek help pretty quickly.
Post # 25
Yep, like you, I’ve been on BC since I was about 15 (so…about 18 years) because when I’m off of it, my body freaks out. I’ve heard conflicting advice about what’s good and bad about it; my OB/GYN basically said the hormones “shuts down” your ovaries so I got off for only about a month, at which time I saw my GP and she said that the pill stops you from ovulating which decreases your cancer risk. So who knows!!
You conceived while on the pill?? That’s terrifying as that’s the only form of BC I am using right now
Post # 26
Post # 28
I have 3 girls – the last 2 I had at 34 and 39. I had no issues at all with the one at 34, conceived on the first try. With the latest baby, I had had a missed MC and then it took another 9 months to conceive again. But that pregnancy was a breeze and now she is 3.5 months old.
Post # 29
You really won’t know until you get there. The best thing you can do now is eat healthy (cut back on sugar and dairy as both can really mess with womens’ hormones), exercise regularly, and listen to your body. If you are a high stress person, figure out now how to deal with stress and get it out of your body whether it’s vigorous exercise, regular massages, relaxing baths, etc. I would get off the pill as soon as you are in a place where you’d both be ok if you got pregnant because you won’t know if you have regular cycles while you’re on the pill.
We we got married when I was almost 32 and started trying when I was 34. I immediately realized my cycles were not regular and saw my doctor which kicked off our almost 3 year infertility journey. Was diagnosed with “thin PCOS” (it’s more common to have weight issues with PCOS but anyone can have it). 6 cycles with Clomid. 3 IUI’s. 6 months with a fertility acupuncturist. IVF #1 at 36 – only had one embryo which ended with a chemical pregnancy. IVF #2 at 36.5 – currently 5 months pregnant with #1, will deliver at age 37. We have no frozen embryos so will have to do IVF #3 about 6 months after the baby is born to get “younger” eggs and then will transfer in a year or two when we’re ready for #2. All in all, a little over 3 years to get baby #1.
Its been a long, expensive body that is tough on the body and the psyche – Ie, husband and I had an emotional conversation about donor eggs and adoption the week before IVF #2. You only have so much money and time and hard decisions have to be made along the way.
Honest assessment- the majority of my female friends are mid-30’s with demanding careers and well over half of us have had to do IVF or adopt to have families due to fertility issues. I believe stress plays a larger role than fertility genes because most of us have mothers / grandmothers who had kids into their late 30’s / early 40’s with no assistance. Two dear friends have mothers who have 4 and 6 kids, respectively. Both friends have not been able to have biological kids (after about 7-10 years of marriage) and adopted.
Post # 30
Forgot to add the best part: after 3 grueling years of infertility treatment, my pregnancy has been an absolute breeze! No morning sickness, still working out 4-5 times a week, baby is perfectly healthy, etc. And I had tons of sonograms while under the care of my IVF Doctor. It was fun and reassuring to see the baby every week between weeks 5-10.