(Closed) Pregnancy Rant

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I hear you and it’s just another thing about life that isn’t fair. I remember reading somewhere that 50% of pregnancies aren’t planned! I tried not to be bitter during our TTC journey but I found myself removing people from my newsfeed on FB who kept sposting about thier accidental babies. I know I couldn’t be mean to them but part of me just didn’t want to hear about it.

Post # 4
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh thank goodness I’m not the only one who is SICK TO DEATH of hearing about how all of these irresponsible people are reproducing.  I always feel so guilty, because really, aren’t we supposed to be all like “Oh, that’s wonderful!  Children are a gift from God!” blah blah.  Two of my younger brothers have accidentally knocked up their girlfriends just in the past half a year!  One of them sent me a text that it was a “surprise” and I asked him how that could possibly be?!?!?!  You either use protection or you don’t, it’s a condom, not rocket science!  Argh- so glad I’m not the only one who is shaking my head in disappointment :/

Have you guys ever seen the movie “Idiocracy”?  Sadly, it’s kind of where things are headed…

Post # 5
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Ashley1001:  It’s so easy to do comparisons and get upset, however, you don’t know how long they’ve been having unprotected sex for, or how many partners they’ve been unprotected with as well. It’s really disgusting when you think about it.  

I had a college roomate, who I loved and adored, but she had risky sex all of the time. We aren’t close but still friends on fb during my ttc journey. She got pregnant. When she announced it I felt so defeated because I knew it was an accident, and then I rememberd that she has been having unprotected sex for years with random people and it was bound to happen. 

It still sucks, but I would much rather be trying in happy healthy marriage for a few months than to be slutty for years and randomly get pregnant.

Post # 7
Member
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well… I’m about to pop out an unplanned baby myself and I can tell you that it’s an extremely emotional and shocking thing to the people on the other side of the situation too. I know that’s really not what you want to hear, but I felt the need to put it into a little perspective. Not all unplanned babies are due to negligence or being irresponsible nor are they all born to unmarried single mothers who don’t know who the daddy is. I am responsible, college-educated, married and financially stable… it can happen to anyone. I think you need to keep that in mind before making the generalizations you have made here.

That being said, a good friend planned both of her babies. The first took her a year and a half to conceive and the second was 10 months. Unfortunately, there is just no telling how long it’ll take. I wish you and your Darling Husband some luck in the BFP department soon!

Post # 8
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@zippylef:  Thanks for your perspective… I know not all unplanned babies are a result of idiots humping like bunnies.  It just seems to me that I have made it a good 30 years (and trust me, I had a GREAT time in college) and I haven’t gotten preggers.  I actively avoided pregnancy, usually with condoms AND hormonal birth control.  I get frustrated when irresponsible people have babies in due to their irresponsibility.  Some people grow up and are wonderful parents, others see the baby as a burden to their lifestyle.  It’s those scenarios that make me feel badly for the child, since they didn’t ask to be born into that type of situation.

Post # 10
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@zippylef:  First if I offended you in my statement, it was not my intent. I replied to statement based on the types of woman the OP posted about and mentioned. 

I too also got pregnant while on the pill and using condoms. It was shocking and confusing, but it wasn’t with a one night stand, I was in a long term relationship, and it wasn’t with a person who was about to go to jail, etc. 

The above situations are nothing like yours and therefore not a generalization that should offend or effect you. 

Post # 11
Member
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@DaneLady:  Honestly, birth control is never infallible. You can do all you can to avoid it and sometimes it’s just going to happen. Like they used to tell us in high school, the only 100% sure method of birth control is abstinence. I definitely understand your frustration though and I do agree that SOME people do get pregnant due to their own mistakes. I’m just saying that not all people in the same situation can be lumped into the same category. I just ask that you refrain from judging so harshly because you never know the circumstances.

Post # 12
Member
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@mwitter80:  Honestly, I’m not offended at all. I was merely pointing out that there is another side to the coin.

@Ashley1001:  I know how frustrating it is to see that going on around you when you are trying. I have 2 sets of cousins who have been struggling with infertility for years and their heartbreak at every negative test is very, very sad. I definitely have friends that fit your mold to a tee, too. Like I said, I hope you and your Darling Husband geet what you are wanting very soon.

Post # 13
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@zippylef:  I agree that bc is not 100%.  Neither are condoms, but that’s why I was/am a bit excessive about using both.  They are each 99.9% effective when used properly, so the likelihood that they would both fail is pretty slim.

I do apologize for being so judgy, and thank you for pointing that out nicely 🙂  Like the other posters, I am referring to specific people in my life and I re-red my post and it came out like an overgeneralization.  That wasn’t my intent, nor did I mean to offend.  I am upset with my brothers for behaving irresponsibly as well, not just the ladies in the situation.  They are fully capable of using protection- it shouldn’t fall on the female 100% of the time.  Neither of them are in a place to care for a child properly, so their gf’s are going to go on our overly-burdened welfare system.  I just wish they had waited until they were ready. 

Post # 13
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ok, whoa whoa whoa.  

You are upset, I can totally understand that, but you’re making a huge mistake.  You are passing judgement on other people and you have no right to do that.  You can be upset and that is understandable.  I used to work at a Fertility Clinic and I have seen the ordeal that some couples have to go through to have a baby. 

Yes, it can seem unfair that someone people have no problems getting pregnant, but instead of focusing on what you don’t have and what everyone else does have, why not do something a little more productive?  If it has been 7 years with no luck, perhaps it is time to start considering adoption?

Tearing down other people is not going to make you feel any better.  I promise it won’t. 

Comparison is the Thief of Joy.  I think I saw that on Pinterest.

Post # 14
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

In addition:  My SIL got pregnant while on birth control (her husband was thrilled) and our second daughter was conceived while on birth control (Ortho Tri-Cyclin for anyone who cares- same as my SIL!)

Post # 15
Member
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@DaneLady:  I agree. Men should definitely have a responsibility to keep up with birth control too. It makes me sad that some girls feel like they can’t say no or can’t insist on using protection. 🙁

The topic ‘Pregnancy Rant’ is closed to new replies.

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