(Closed) Pregnancy/Postpartum Symptom Survey

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017 - France

Did you get a linea niagra? If so, how many weeks were you?

I did, I don’t really remember as that was 2 years ago.

Did you get stretch marks? If so, how many weeks were you and how much weight had you gained?

I didn’t get any stretch marks, I gained 12 lbs the whole pregnancy, I had HG so it was nearly impossible to gain even with meds and hospital stays.

Did you ever have braxton hicks? Starting when?

I did, I believe that started around week 29.

Did you get swelling? Did you ever have to take off your rings? When?

No swelling and I didn’t take any of my rings of until labor.

How much weight had you gained at 20 weeks? At the start of the third trimester (28 weeks)? Total to date/at the end? Like I said above I only gained 12 lbs for the entire pregnancy.

 

And if you’ve given birth already:

How long did it take you to lose your pregnancy weight? Did you do anything special?

I lost all the weight at birth! I was 78 lbs when I was released from the hospital. Nothing special just puking and not being able to eat or drink from 5 weeks to 35 weeks…

How long did it take you to feel back to yourself physically and emotionally after delivery?

It took me 2 to 4 months to recover from the pregnancy and labor. I had postpartum depression and PTSD.

Did you tear during delivery? 

I had a 2nd degree tear, twenty something stitches.

Did you have an epidural? 

No.

Did you go into labor before, on, or after your due date? Were you induced?

3 weeks before my due date.

How often did baby eat the first week or two?

Every 2 hours.

Were you comfortable breastfeeding in front of visitors (with a coverup) right away?

Yes it’s normal in my family and culture.

Did you let people visit you at the hospital after the baby was born? If so, do you regret it?

Yes I did, I did not regret it, I come from a very family oriented culture.

Did you limit visitors when you got home? If so, how did you do this courteously? If not, do you wish you had?

No, no need to limit visits.

Did you have any respectful requests of visitors (e.g. no overnight stays, please no visits after 7pm, give baby back if he/she cries, etc)? If so, how did you convey these without sounding like a nazi?

I didn’t have any of these.

Did visitors wait to be offered to hold the baby or did some people just pick him/her up or say, “aww let me have her”? If so, did it freak you out when they did that? What did you do?

I was happy when they did, my health was very precarious and any and every help was appreciated.

In the first few weeks were you okay with close friends or family trying to soothe the baby when he/she was crying or did you want him/her back? If you wanted him/her back did people usually give him/her back pretty quickly or did you have to make an assertive move to get him/her? How did you do this nicely?

I was happy with my family holding my baby.

If someone had been visiting for a while and you were really ready for them to leave, what did you do? 

I’ve never had this problem.

Any advice in general on handling post-partum visitors? Particularly parents and inlaws?

In my culture we live with our parents until we are married so I really had none of these issues. My Fiance is from France so my future in laws never saw my son until this September when we finally moved to France.

Post # 3
Member
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby, we’re having a little girl 🙂 

Did you get a linea niagra? If so, how many weeks were you? – No 

Did you get stretch marks? If so, how many weeks were you and how much weight had you gained? – I have a few on my sides which started appearing around 28 weeks, at which point I had put on about 20lbs 

Did you ever have braxton hicks? Starting when? – Yes I’ve been having them occassionally since about 30 weeks

Did you get swelling? Did you ever have to take off your rings? When? – Yes, swelling started at the beginning of 3rd trimester for me mostly in my fingers, I can still wear my wedding ring but I can’t wear my engagement ring anymore because my fingers swell too much with both rings on. 

How much weight had you gained at 20 weeks? At the start of the third trimester (28 weeks)? Total to date/at the end? – At 20 weeks I had put on about 12lbs and by 28 weeks I was around 20lbs gained. I’m currently on track to put on about 40lbs total this pregnancy. 

Hope that helps! Wishing you a healthy pregnancy 🙂 

 

Post # 4
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Well I’ve had my baby and to avoid the longest post ever will split my answers in two.

How long did it take you to lose your pregnancy weight? Did you do anything special? The weight was easy but toning up is tough. I’m attending a post natal fitness class.

How long did it take you to feel back to yourself physically and emotionally after delivery? I’d say a good 8 weeks although I don’t think I’ll ever be totally myself again.

Did you tear during delivery? N/a E-section 

Did you have an epidural? Yes 

Did you go into labor before, on, or after your due date? Were you induced? 10 days over. No induction

How often did baby eat the first week or two? Not much the first 3 days or so then he found his appetite. 

Were you comfortable breastfeeding in front of visitors (with a coverup) right away? Yes – never bothered me but did bother others

Did you let people visit you at the hospital after the baby was born? If so, do you regret it? I made it clear before baby was born no visitors straight away. He was born at 6:30pm and first visitors at 1pm next day. 

Did you limit visitors when you got home? If so, how did you do this courteously? If not, do you wish you had?  We spread visitors out. Most people were very respectful and gave us  time to settle in before visiting. 

Did you have any respectful requests of visitors (e.g. no overnight stays, please no visits after 7pm, give baby back if he/she cries, etc)? If so, how did you convey these without sounding like a nazi? Never felt the need for this. Who visits a baby after 7pm ??!!

Did visitors wait to be offered to hold the baby or did some people just pick him/her up or say, “aww let me have her”? If so, did it freak you out when they did that? What did you do? Most waited. My Mother-In-Law practically grabbed him, and still does. People holding him next to me is fine.?

In the first few weeks were you okay with close friends or family trying to soothe the baby when he/she was crying or did you want him/her back? If you wanted him/her back did people usually give him/her back pretty quickly or did you have to make an assertive move to get him/her? How did you do this nicely?

It made me uncomfortable. I simply said “let me settle him for you”. People were generally relieved tbh!! In fact most people returned him before I needed to say anything. Apart from Mother-In-Law – someone actually went to pass him to me to sooand she jumped up and grabbed him. 

If someone had been visiting for a while and you were really ready for them to leave, what did you do? No one did. If they had I’d say I was taking baby upstairs for his nap and leave OH to it

Any advice in general on handling post-partum visitors? Particularly parents and inlaws? Be firm and set boundaries early on.



Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/pregnancypostpartum-symptom-survey/#ixzz3uWpJaWeO

Post # 5
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Did you get a linea niagra? If so, how many weeks were you? N

Did you get stretch marks? If so, how many weeks were you and how much weight had you gained? yes after he was born. I gained 2 stone.

Did you ever have braxton hicks? Starting when? No

Did you get swelling? Did you ever have to take off your rings? When? no

How much weight had you gained at 20 weeks? At the start of the third trimester (28 weeks)? Total to date/at the end? Not sure

 



Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/pregnancypostpartum-symptom-survey/#ixzz3uWzDCluL

Post # 6
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Did you get a linea niagra? If so, how many weeks were you? NOPE!

Did you get stretch marks? If so, how many weeks were you and how much weight had you gained? YES- around 37 weeks, in the underside of my belly- gaindex 17 lbs total.. But I also have stretch mark prone skin

Did you ever have braxton hicks? Starting when? Yes- I wanna say in the 30+ something weeks

Did you get swelling? Did you ever have to take off your rings? When? NOPE

How much weight had you gained at 20 weeks? At the start of the third trimester (28 weeks)? Total to date/at the end? all I remember was it was 17 total, and most of it was at the end.

 

And if you’ve given birth already:

How long did it take you to lose your pregnancy weight? Did you do anything special? 2-3 weeks

How long did it take you to feel back to yourself physically and emotionally after delivery? Physically- maybe 4 weeks. Mentally right away. 

Did you tear during delivery? Yes- 2nd degree year, 12 stitches to fix

Did you have an epidural?  Yes!

Did you go into labor before, on, or after your due date? Were you induced? Not induced, labor started 2 days before due date,  and actually delivered on my due date

How often did baby eat the first week or two? Every 2 hours 😴

Were you comfortable breastfeeding in front of visitors (with a coverup) right away? I never was comfortable feeding in front of people. I would go into a different room.

Did you let people visit you at the hospital after the baby was born? If so, do you regret it? Just close family… Yes and no. I wish I got more rest before they came. 

Did you limit visitors when you got home? If so, how did you do this courteously? If not, do you wish you had? We waited a week before inviting anyone over

Did you have any respectful requests of visitors (e.g. no overnight stays, please no visits after 7pm, give baby back if he/she cries, etc)? If so, how did you convey these without sounding like a nazi? if they were sick it was a no go- I told them straight out. If they didn’t like it, to bad

Did visitors wait to be offered to hold the baby or did some people just pick him/her up or say, “aww let me have her”? If so, did it freak you out when they did that? What did you do? Everyone waited until offered to hold. I tried not to assume people would want to hold her.

In the first few weeks were you okay with close friends or family trying to soothe the baby when he/she was crying or did you want him/her back? If you wanted him/her back did people usually give him/her back pretty quickly or did you have to make an assertive move to get him/her? How did you do this nicely?… If they wanna try, they were allowed to… If kit calm within 2-3 minutes if take over

If someone had been visiting for a while and you were really ready for them to leave, what did you do?  thankfully this didn’t happen



Post # 7
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

 

I have a six week old bub, a girl 🙂

Did you get a linea niagra? I didn’t get it.

Did you get stretch marks? Yes, awful big purple all over my belly below my belly button right down to my pubic hair line. I didn’t get them til near the end, when she dropped. Although I might’ve got them earlier and not noticed because I could only see them in a mirror, being on the underside of my bump.

Did you ever have braxton hicks? Starting when? Yes, throughout my pregnancy but they aren’t painful, just tightening of the belly. Midwife said if they are painful then they are real contractions, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you will go into labour – I had these ‘real contractions’ a few nights before my labour actually started.

Did you get swelling? Did you ever have to take off your rings? When? Not much, only had to take ring off around 39 weeks.

How much weight had you gained at 20 weeks? At the start of the third trimester (28 weeks)? Total to date/at the end? Not sure how much at 20 and 28, but gained 12kg total (plus I had a few kg extra already before getting pregnant!)

 

And if you’ve given birth already:

How long did it take you to lose your pregnancy weight? Did you do anything special? Of the 12 I gained, 8 came off within a week just from having her I suppose. Have lost another 2 to date. My main plan for weight loss is breastfeeding!

How long did it take you to feel back to yourself physically and emotionally after delivery? I am only just getting it together now (6 weeks) and I really notice my pelvic floor/core/abs are still quite weak. I cracked my coxic bone in labour and that hurt when sitting right up until this week – quite a problem with the breastfeeding.

Did you tear during delivery? I needed a tiny episiotomy because she was stuck on my perineum, and then I tore the rest of the way 2nd degree. I didn’t feel it at all, it’s all burning a bit down there by that stage.

Did you have an epidural? No, there was no time! I had a very quick labour, fully dilated and started involuntary pushing while still at home! Aaah! Mad dash to the hospital, felt the ‘burning’ in the car, put my hand down there and felt the head! So it was lucky that’s as far as she could get before getting stuck on my perineum, otherwise would have been born in the car!

Did you go into labor before, on, or after your due date? Were you induced? 5 days late, first baby.

How often did baby eat the first week or two? Other than the crazy constant feeding times when she was unsettled or trying to boost my supply, she generally fed every 3 hours.

Were you comfortable breastfeeding in front of visitors (with a coverup) right away? I was in front of female visitors, come to think of it I only had female visitors anyway…

Did you let people visit you at the hospital after the baby was born? If so, do you regret it? Only immediate family, which was my mum, Mother-In-Law, SIL, step daughter. The day Mother-In-Law, SIL and SD came all together it was exhausting and after they left I was so glad. Very happy not to have any more visitors than that.

Did you limit visitors when you got home? If so, how did you do this courteously? If not, do you wish you had? Haven’t needed to as we don’t have a lot of people around where we live.

Did you have any respectful requests of visitors (e.g. no overnight stays, please no visits after 7pm, give baby back if he/she cries, etc)? If so, how did you convey these without sounding like a nazi? I suggest just saying these things when and if required. If someone asks to stay the night and you don’t want them to, just say sorry we don’t want overnight visitors right now. If someone is holding the baby and they start crying and you want him/her back, just go over to them with your arms outstretched and take him/her. We had my mum staying for a week to help, my dad stayed one night to visit. I wouldn’t want any more overnight than that.

Did visitors wait to be offered to hold the baby or did some people just pick him/her up or say, “aww let me have her”? If so, did it freak you out when they did that? What did you do? Everyone waited, but I don’t have pushy friends/relatives.

In the first few weeks were you okay with close friends or family trying to soothe the baby when he/she was crying or did you want him/her back? If you wanted him/her back did people usually give him/her back pretty quickly or did you have to make an assertive move to get him/her? How did you do this nicely? I am okay with others trying to get her to sleep (my mum is the only one who offers to do it) if she is just fussing a little. If she is actively crying, I will want her back and probably put her on the boob – I am the only one with the boobies!

If someone had been visiting for a while and you were really ready for them to leave, what did you do? Haven’t really had that problem, but I suggest using whatever the baby is doing as a hint. If she is in your/their arms and sleeping/nearly asleep, say “I think I better put her down in her cot and try to get some sleep myself too. Thank you so much for coming to visit!”. If she is crying, say something like “I think I’ll need to go in her room and try to settle her. Thank you so much for coming to visit!”

Any advice in general on handling post-partum visitors? Particularly parents and inlaws? Just be direct with what you need, when you need it.

Post # 8
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Did you get a linea niagra? If so, how many weeks were you? No I did not.

Did you get stretch marks? If so, how many weeks were you and how much weight had you gained? I got stretch marks after birth. I never got any during pregnancy, but I gained 43lbs.

Did you ever have braxton hicks? Starting when? I never had BHs, but I thought I did. Didn’t have any cramping or contractions until labor started at 39w3d.

Did you get swelling? Did you ever have to take off your rings? When? Never had any swelling at all, and I did not have to take off my rings.

How much weight had you gained at 20 weeks? At the start of the third trimester (28 weeks)? Total to date/at the end? Not sure about this. I gained 43lbs total and it was pretty steady until the end when I stopped gaining. So 1-2lbs a week roughly.

And if you’ve given birth already:
How long did it take you to lose your pregnancy weight? Did you do anything special? I currently have lost about 20ish lbs of what I gained. I am 5 weeks pp this Saturday. I am not breastfeeding or working out. Most happened right after birth.

How long did it take you to feel back to yourself physically and emotionally after delivery? I felt pretty good after delivery. Stopped bleeding around 4 weeks. Emotionally I had a very hard time- super overwhelmed and crying each day. That got better after a couple weeks.

Did you tear during delivery? Yes, 2nd degree tear and had an episiotomy.

Did you have an epidural? No. I arrived at the hospital at 9cm dilated and fully effaced, so there was no time. I wish I could have had one- that was the one thing I wanted all pregnancy!

Did you go into labor before, on, or after your due date? Were you induced? Before. I was 39w5d at delivery.

How often did baby eat the first week or two? He ate about every 3 hours, and still eats 3.5-4 hours.

Did you let people visit you at the hospital after the baby was born? If so, do you regret it? My ILs were at the hospital during delivery in the waiting room. My mom came down several hours after labor. I wish my ILs weren’t there so soon. I was wheeled to my recovery room in front of them and they watched me feed my son for the first time. I was a brand new mom and never fed a baby. I wish I had that time with my Darling Husband and just us.

Did you limit visitors when you got home? If so, how did you do this courteously? If not, do you wish you had? Yes. Family only. I told my friends I’d like them to wait until he was a month old since he doesn’t have a great immune system. All of them understood.

Did you have any respectful requests of visitors (e.g. no overnight stays, please no visits after 7pm, give baby back if he/she cries, etc)? If so, how did you convey these without sounding like a nazi? I said no night time visits since my Darling Husband works all day and gets up early. So evenings were our only time together. I simply told people that it was our only time for family so night visits weren’t ideal. Wish I knew a great way to say “give me my crying baby back” but I have yet to calmly approach that…

Did visitors wait to be offered to hold the baby or did some people just pick him/her up or say, “aww let me have her”? If so, did it freak you out when they did that? What did you do? I normally asked my friends if they wanted to hold him. My Mother-In-Law is very forward though and says “Oh he wants grandma now!” Kinda annoying. I know she’s excited but I wish she would ask… But I figure I get him 24/7 so if she wants to hold him for a few hours I might as well let her.

In the first few weeks were you okay with close friends or family trying to soothe the baby when he/she was crying or did you want him/her back? If you wanted him/her back did people usually give him/her back pretty quickly or did you have to make an assertive move to get him/her? How did you do this nicely? Haven’t really had this situation happen. I have no idea how I will handle it. I’m hoping they just give him back to me. The only person I can see who won’t is my Mother-In-Law.

If someone had been visiting for a while and you were really ready for them to leave, what did you do? Hasn’t happened yet either. But I’ll probably use the “I’m tired” excuse or say I need to make dinner. I think most people understand tired new moms.

Any advice in general on handling post-partum visitors? Particularly parents and inlaws? Be honest with them. They need to understand that it’s your baby and your rules. Also, a lot of people recommend putting baby in a carrier. It makes it harder for people to just want to grab he/she from you if you are wearing the baby!

 

Post # 9
Member
6765 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

What a survey….here I go!

Did you get a linea niagra? If so, how many weeks were you? Yes, a light one. I started to notice it when I was around 24 weeks.

Did you get stretch marks? If so, how many weeks were you and how much weight had you gained? Yes, lots of them. They started to show when I was arond 20 weeks. I am also prone to getting them, so it didn’t surprise me.

Did you ever have braxton hicks? Starting when? I started to get them around week 35.

Did you get swelling? Did you ever have to take off your rings? When? A litte bit. I did take my ring off because it became a little tight plus it felt uncomfortable.

How much weight had you gained at 20 weeks? At the start of the third trimester (28 weeks)? Total to date/at the end? I had gained zero by week 20. Actually I lost around 10 lbs in the first 20 weeks, then gradually I started to gain weight in my third trimester. I only gained 9-10 lbs total.

And if you’ve given birth already:

How long did it take you to lose your pregnancy weight? Did you do anything special? I lost 10 lbs within a week after giving birth and continue to lose weight. So far I have lost around 16 lbs. I am weighing less than I did pre-pregnancy which is nice.

How long did it take you to feel back to yourself physically and emotionally after delivery? I was feeling pretty good three days after delivery, but I was feeing like myself arou

Did you get a linea niagra? If so, how many weeks were you? Yes very light, around 24 weeks.

Did you get stretch marks? If so, how many weeks were you and how much weight had you gained? Yes lots of them but I am also prone to getting them. I was around 20 weeks when I noticed my first one and had gained no weight.

Did you ever have braxton hicks? Starting when? Yes, they started around week 35.

Did you get swelling? Did you ever have to take off your rings? When? A little bit. Yes, I took my ring off because it was getting a bit tight and uncomfortable.

How much weight had you gained at 20 weeks? At the start of the third trimester (28 weeks)? Total to date/at the end?nd a week after. Each day I feel better and better.

Did you tear during delivery? I had a small tear.

Did you have an epidural? No

Did you go into labor before, on, or after your due date? Were you induced? I went in labor before my due date at 37 weeks and 5 days because my water broke. I ended up getting induced with Pitocin as I did not start contractions on my own. 

How often did baby eat the first week or two? I feed baby every 3 hours.

Were you comfortable breastfeeding in front of visitors (with a coverup) right away? I’ve been breastfeeding in front of my sister and mom with no coverup. I haven’t done any breastfeeding in front of visitors. I am not sure if I feel comfortable enough to breastfeed even with a coverup. 

Did you let people visit you at the hospital after the baby was born? If so, do you regret it? Yes, a few friends stop by on the second day after baby was born while at the hospital. 

Did you limit visitors when you got home? If so, how did you do this courteously? If not, do you wish you had? Not really, as soon as I told the news. Some of my friends asked when they could come and visit us. I told them whenever, and we sort of arranged some time. The first home visitors ended up coming a week after baby was born, so I was already feeling a lot better. We had visitos come for a few days in a row, so that was a bit tiring, but they didn’t stay more than an hour and they were so kind to bring gifts and food. I didn’t mind and actually enjoyed having them. They were not expecting anything from me as far as hosting them which is nice.

Did you have any respectful requests of visitors (e.g. no overnight stays, please no visits after 7pm, give baby back if he/she cries, etc)? If so, how did you convey these without sounding like a nazi? No, the only one staying with us at home are my mom and sister. I of course can tell them what I like and don’t like. My mom has been helpful, and they keep me company.

Did visitors wait to be offered to hold the baby or did some people just pick him/her up or say, “aww let me have her”? If so, did it freak you out when they did that? What did you do? Haha no, I had baby lying down when visitors arrived or I was holding him, I basically asked them if they wanted to hold baby. Some wanted to, and others didn’t feel confident so that was fine too. I some people really want to hold baby, but they have been very respectful and wait for me to make the offer.

In the first few weeks were you okay with close friends or family trying to soothe the baby when he/she was crying or did you want him/her back? If you wanted him/her back did people usually give him/her back pretty quickly or did you have to make an assertive move to get him/her? How did you do this nicely? The only people that have been around when baby cries is Darling Husband, my mom or sister. I don’t mind if they try to calm down baby. I have actually left the baby with my mom when I need to run some errands. Especially if they are close family, I think bonding is important as well plus it has helped as a distraction.

If someone had been visiting for a while and you were really ready for them to leave, what did you do? I haven’t experience this.

Any advice in general on handling post-partum visitors? Particularly parents and inlaws? We live so far away from our families that this is not a problem for us. The only people coming over besides my mom and sister and my Father-In-Law. I think visitors in general are pretty understanding, so I wouldn’t put too much weight on what to say and not to say. Make sure you show them you’re in charge and you can take care of the baby. If you need help, don’t hesistate to ask. 

Post # 10
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve had two babies, but my answers are generally the same for both.

Did you get a linea niagra? If so, how many weeks were you?

No

Did you get stretch marks? If so, how many weeks were you and how much weight had you gained? 

No

Did you ever have braxton hicks? Starting when?

Yes, lots! I don’t remember when they started in my first pregnancy, but in my second I noticed them really early – maybe 16 weeks.

Did you get swelling? Did you ever have to take off your rings? When?

Yes, but only in my feet and ankles, and only when it was really hot (first pregnancy in summer, second pregnancy when I visited Bali).

How much weight had you gained at 20 weeks? At the start of the third trimester (28 weeks)? Total to date/at the end?

 I don’t remember dates, but I gained around 15kg in each pregnancy.

And if you’ve given birth already:

How long did it take you to lose your pregnancy weight? Did you do anything special?

My second child is 9 weeks old, and I’m still about 6kg above pre-pregnancy weight. With my first, I lost it all by 6 months. I couldn’t eat various things due to my daughter’s reflux, including chocolate, which I’m sure helped!

How long did it take you to feel back to yourself physically and emotionally after delivery?

Physically, probably a week or two, but it’s hard to tell as the sleep deprivation is also physically draining. Mentally: With my first, I had early postnatal depression that lasted four weeks, but it took a good six months to kick the mild postnatal anxiety. With my second, the worst of the anxiety lasted about four weeks, but I still have my moments.  

Did you tear during delivery? 

First was a forceps delivery, so I was given an episiotomy. Second was a quick natural delivery and I tore a lot. Honestly, at the time you don’t even notice, you just want the baby OUT!

Did you have an epidural? 

Nope

Did you go into labor before, on, or after your due date? Were you induced?

No induction, first was 7 days early, second was 6 days early

How often did baby eat the first week or two?

Every 2-3 hours, though in the first few days I had to wake her a number of times at the 4 hour mark as she was so sleepy. I wish she was still sleepy!

Were you comfortable breastfeeding in front of visitors (with a coverup) right away?

Yep, but I’ve rarely covered up. If people have a problem they can look away!

Did you let people visit you at the hospital after the baby was born? If so, do you regret it?

Yes, I loved having visitors. It gets lonely in there!

Did you limit visitors when you got home? If so, how did you do this courteously? If not, do you wish you had?

No, I didn’t mind having lots of visitors

Did you have any respectful requests of visitors (e.g. no overnight stays, please no visits after 7pm, give baby back if he/she cries, etc)? If so, how did you convey these without sounding like a nazi?

No, no need. Who shows up and stays overnight without asking?!

Did visitors wait to be offered to hold the baby or did some people just pick him/her up or say, “aww let me have her”? If so, did it freak you out when they did that? What did you do?

Some people asked and I was always happy to pass her around. I appreciated the break!

In the first few weeks were you okay with close friends or family trying to soothe the baby when he/she was crying or did you want him/her back? If you wanted him/her back did people usually give him/her back pretty quickly or did you have to make an assertive move to get him/her? How did you do this nicely?

Most people tended to hand the baby back when she cried. It was only close family who were really experienced mums who attempted to settle her, and generally they were more successful than me, so I was happy to let them teach me new skills. Occasionally when it wasn’t working, I’d just step in and ask to have a try.

If someone had been visiting for a while and you were really ready for them to leave, what did you do? 

That never happened

Any advice in general on handling post-partum visitors? Particularly parents and inlaws? 

We didn’t have any problems. If you’re anticipating problems (which I’m guessing you are, based on your questioning), maybe get your hubby to speak to your in-laws before the baby arrives. 

Post # 11
Member
2153 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Am typing on my phone with sleeping six week old baby on me so forgive me if i leave any questions out 🙂 linea negra yes – 20 weeks. Stretch marks yes, 5 days before delivery 🙁 ugly ring around my belly button. Braxton hicks from week 17,was given magnesium to keep them at bay. Weight gained total 16kgs, 5 in first tri, 6 in second, 5 in last.  No swellling at all, wore both my rings right through giving birth and after. 

No epidural, no tearing,no stitches. I wish I had limited the hospital visits a bit because I barely got any sleep at the hospital. In general though people are very respectful of my wishes and nobody has bothered me at home uninvited. I just tell it like it is “don’t come after seven cos we go to bed at eight at the moment “.. “pass him back to me, I’ll sooth him ” etc. The worst is unwanted advice from Mother-In-Law etc.. Just do your thing and take advice with a grain of salt. Baby eats every 2hrs.

At six weeks, I finally feel more like myself. Get all the sleep you can!! Ask for help from close family and close friends – there is no shame in needing help. On the worst days remember it gradually gets easier.

Ive lost 12kgs, 4 to go. Plan to eat healthily and hope to lose it gradually. Will exercise more in the new year as I continue to recover physically. I feel stretched “down there ” and still have a bit of a tummy.

Good luck!   

Post # 12
Member
2153 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh and I only feel comfortable breastfeeding around husband, mom, Mother-In-Law, sister and close girlfriends. Any male visitors including dad and brothers i go to the bedroom. 

Post # 13
Member
2153 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Baby was born bang on due date but water broke 2 days before.. 33hr labour 🙁 no induction 

Post # 14
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

lalanono:  Some of the early questions are a blur. 🙂

Were you comfortable breastfeeding in front of visitors (with a coverup) right away?
I openly nursed in front of my husband, mom, and her best friend at the hospital. All other visitors (in laws, dad/step mom) I was covered, or they left the room (we had some trouble nursing and the LC came in to work with me- wasn’t going to have in the in-laws there for that.) After 13 months I have yet to nurse with my in-laws in the same room.

Did you let people visit you at the hospital after the baby was born? If so, do you regret it?
Yes and no regrets. Baby was born (unplanned c-section) 9PM, and visitors came after noon the next day.  Hospital visitors were just the parents/mom’s best friend, and one of my best friends. 3 sets came one day (two sets of visitors overlapped), and one another day.

Did you limit visitors when you got home? If so, how did you do this courteously? If not, do you wish you had?
No limit, but our visitors were just those close to us who weren’t able to visit in the hospital- my brother/sister-in-law, and one of my husband’s best friends. If people want to visit and you’re not up for it, “Could you visit Sunday afternoon instead of Saturday morning?”, or something similar.  

Did you have any respectful requests of visitors (e.g. no overnight stays, please no visits after 7pm, give baby back if he/she cries, etc)? If so, how did you convey these without sounding like a nazi?
The only overnight guest was my mom who stayed 2 or 3 nights, and her stay was planned in advance.  I don’t get along well enough with my Mother-In-Law to have her stay in our house- this would have been a stress as opposed to a help. 

Based on your questions, it sounds like you have a lot of concerns about visitors. YOU are the mom and what you says goes. If you’re exhausted, you don’t have to entertain people. A one to two hour long visit is usually sufficient, unless people have travelled some distance . Newborns need to nurse so much anyway that it’s a good way to end a visit- you can take the baby to another room to nurse if someone is overstaying their welcome, and then both you and baby can try to nap.

When a newborn is crying, if the initial comfort measures by someone other than mom aren’t successful, the baby should go to mom. You’ll figure this out- “let me have him/her back.” If they don’t hand the baby back, repeat yourself. (I never had any issues with this.)

Post # 15
Member
9813 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Did you get a linea niagra? If so, how many weeks were you?  Yes, maybe by 25-26 weeks?  Definitely had it by 30.  I still have it and she is 20mo old (although it’s very faint now)

Did you get stretch marks? If so, how many weeks were you and how much weight had you gained?    No

Did you ever have braxton hicks? Starting when?  Only when I was working out or walking long distances- after 25w

Did you get swelling? Did you ever have to take off your rings? When? No major swelling, just a tiny bit.  I took off one of my rings and just wore my wedding band because it was more comfy- after 25w

How much weight had you gained at 20 weeks? At the start of the third trimester (28 weeks)? Total to date/at the end?  I don’t remember, I gained 42-43lbs total.

 

And if you’ve given birth already:

How long did it take you to lose your pregnancy weight? Did you do anything special? Probably lost it all by 16 weeks pp.  I exclusively breastfed- took it all off.

How long did it take you to feel back to yourself physically and emotionally after delivery? Emotionally about 2weeks and physically about 4-5mo after I lost weight.  For sex, I would say 8mo when I got my first period.

Did you tear during delivery?  Episiotomy

Did you have an epidural?  Yes

Did you go into labor before, on, or after your due date? Were you induced? Induced at 41w

How often did baby eat the first week or two?  Every 2-3 hours, about 12x a day

Were you comfortable breastfeeding in front of visitors (with a coverup) right away? I was fine in front of my parents, brothers, close friends.  I usually went in the other room for his parents at first.  Sometimes I would go in the other room even with my parents.  Baby can get distracted by noise as they get older.  I never used a coverup

Did you let people visit you at the hospital after the baby was born? If so, do you regret it? Yes, just my parents, his mom, my brothers, and one friend.  No, it was fine.  It’s nice to have a break.  I would rather have visitors at home though

Did you limit visitors when you got home? If so, how did you do this courteously? If not, do you wish you had?  No, we didn’t limit anything.  But people weren’t assholes so I didn’t have anything to limit.  Unless you’re family (like sibling, parents) don’t stay more than an hour.

Did you have any respectful requests of visitors (e.g. no overnight stays, please no visits after 7pm, give baby back if he/she cries, etc)? If so, how did you convey these without sounding like a nazi?  No.  If I wanted to feed the baby, I went over and said I need to feed the baby.

Did visitors wait to be offered to hold the baby or did some people just pick him/her up or say, “aww let me have her”? If so, did it freak you out when they did that? What did you do?  Both, didn’t bother me.

In the first few weeks were you okay with close friends or family trying to soothe the baby when he/she was crying or did you want him/her back? If you wanted him/her back did people usually give him/her back pretty quickly or did you have to make an assertive move to get him/her? How did you do this nicely?  I would say I took the baby back because the only time mine got fussy was when she was hungry.  So I just said I need to feed her and took her.

If someone had been visiting for a while and you were really ready for them to leave, what did you do?  I would probably say, I need to feed her and take her and go to my bedroom.  Hoping they get the hint lol.

Any advice in general on handling post-partum visitors? Particularly parents and inlaws?  I would say don’t stress about it, time goes by really fast.  Unless you have specific problem parents or inlaws??  If you have problem people, just set up reasonable boundaries early.

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