Post # 1
I know we’ve all got our respective due date threads, and every pregnancy is scary and exciting. But I feel in a bit of an in-between place right now. I’m finally pregnant after 2 years of battling infertility, and I know there are others out there in the same boat.
How are you feeling? Are you able to get excited at all, or is it mostly terror? For those of you further along (or with babies in your arms), does the fear go away as the pregnancy progresses? I guess I’m just SO used to things not going right, that I’m kind of in disbelief that things will go well now.
Post # 3
congrats on the pregnancy. i have no advice as i’ve never been pregnant but i have pcos and imagine that when my time comes i might feel similiarly. i read a wonderful blog about a woman with a very similar experience to yours: http://ceaseanddecyst.wordpress.com/. best wishes to you.
Post # 4
@redsmarties: congratulations on your pregnancy. I can only imagine how years of infertility could affect how you journey through your pregnancy. I found this thread and though it might be interesting for you.
best of luck to you!
Post # 5
@redsmarties: I am pregnant now after a little over a year of trying. I was really lucky and got pregnant after my first round of fertility treatments, but I had been prepared for a very long road. I’m now 14 weeks. Honestly, I’m only now starting to feel some excitement. Throughout the whole first trimester I just kept thinking, “Well, of course something bad’s going to happen,” because I couldn’t believe that I would actually be pregannt at this point. Darling Husband and I didn’t let ourselves get super excited, and I didn’t do one of those cute pregnancy reveals that wives do for their husbands…
Now, 5 ultrasounds and a whole trimester later, I’m starting to enjoy it and allowing myself to fantasize about actually having a baby. I wish I hadn’t been so terrified in the beginning, but I think it’s natural after facing infertility.
Anyway, huge congrats on your pregnancy. 🙂
Post # 6
It took my dh and I a year to get pregnant on my second round of clomid. I was ecstatic when I finally got my bfp, but the very next thing I know I was completely terrified of losing it. I was so thankful, but convinced that after such a long struggle that things would just keep going wrong. I learned to take one day at a time…everytime I went to bed it was another day of being pregnant and that much closer to “safety.”
After my 9 week u/s and getting nothing but great news I started believing that I was having a baby, something that I always wanted. All my feelings of dread vanished.
My baby is 4 months old now and I’m experiencing the same feelings that I did while ttc. We’re not preventing anything and I worry that nothing will happen naturally and if I have to go on clomid when our son is 9 months it won’t work.
I think when you experience infertility, those feelings will never go away.
Post # 7
@redsmarties: first off, congratulations! i definitely understand how you feel. i think most of us who get pregnant after infertility are hardwired to expect the worst, unfortunately. our background: Darling Husband and i were diagnosed with infertility in October 2009; had 2 IUIs; had a SA with zero sperm in May 2012 and told to look into donor sperm. we stopped TTC, stopped thinking about TTC; essentially gave ourselves a summer break before getting ready to gear up fro IVF in september. well, september 20 we got our shocking (in the best way possible) BFP; completely natural, no fertility treatments, and now i’m 15w4d 🙂
honestly, for me, weeks 9-12 were the worst. i had ultrasounds during weeks 6, 7 & 9, but waiting for week 12 for another doctor’s appointment was very, very stressful. the whole idea that something *could* be wrong (despite no symptoms to indicate such a thing) was why i was so stressed out. i just tried to take it day by day, and get reassurance from friends and family (who knew about our BFP) that things would be ok. try to avoid the internet. try not to symptom spot. ignore old wives tales; it doesn’t matter if you have no morning sickness, that doesn’t mean you don’t have a super viable pregnancy!
now, at 15w4d, i am much, much, MUCH more relaxed. after our NT scan at 12 weeks, i have become much less stressed. part of it was hitting that 12 week milestone, and now much of it is because of our home doppler. get one. seriously; it’s the best $55 i’ve ever spent in my life. anytime i feel any tiny twinge of anxiety, i can just listen to the baby’s heartbeat and know that everything is ok. in a nutshell; you’re going to have some tough weeks in the first trimester in between your appointments. it’s ok to let yourself worry, but have faith that things will be ok. after all, you got pregnant after one of the worst journeys life can throw at you. it had to have happened for a reason, right? (i tell myself this often) however, things WILL get better. lots better 🙂 try to relax (easier said that done, i know) and enjoy your pregnancy. feel free to PM me if you’re feeling like you need to talk; i too feel different at times since my journey here was much different than most mamas around here. i wish you all the best!
Post # 8
this thread is perfect for bees like us @redsmarties: ! thank you for creating it. i feel in the middle too. especially in the july thread, theres a lot of different scenarios going on. theres always something special about the connection between bees who were infertile or long time TTCers.
it took us 2 years too, and now tomorrow i am 8 weeks along. i sometimes forget im pregnant because im pretty symptomless other than feeling really uncomfortable. (& that scares me too!) im sometimes too excited and get too ahead of myself in the planning and dreaming portion, because im an ocd planner & we have been wanting this for so long. but i am also terrified for things to go wrong. i requested i have a 6, 9 and 12 week ultrasound. there was no way id wait until week 12 to see things for the first time. the doctor from our fertility clinic gave me the 6 week, but i still wasnt waiting until 12 with the new doctors to see things. i imagine the NT scan will add major stress and fear too, i still need to see if our insurance covers that. im trying not to be scared and enjoy this, it took so long to happen and who knows if it ever will again so i want to savor every moment and think “today, i am pregnant” but its scary. and Darling Husband is hesitant/afraid too. im here for you!
were in this together my dear!
Post # 9
@mintmercury: oh my gosh i didn’t realize your BFP was natural!! i don’t have anything to add to this thread but your story is so amazing. thanks for sharing 🙂
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2011 - Vandiver Inn
@redsmarties: So, I think things get better slowly. I was completely terrified at first. Like…. terrified. Every twinge, every odd feeling, every tiny spot and I thought I was going to miscarry. But slowly as this pregnancy goes on, I am starting to feel calmer. I’m 12 weeks now and on a day to day basis I’m fairly calm. I still get nervous when an ultrasound approaches. I have this irrational fear that they’re going to find something terrible or that my baby has stopped growing or something. I know that’s silly, but there it is. But honestly, for the most part I’m calm now and I’m starting to be able to move on and think about what is actually going to happen in June when this pregnancy is over and parenting begins!
For reference, we tried for almost a year and a half. We have severe male factor infertility and after trying literally everything that made sense, we ended up conceiving this baby through IVF+ICSI.
Post # 11
@hellorebecca: thank you! yes, we definitely have a miracle baby 🙂
Post # 12
@redsmarties: OMG CONGRATS!!! I am so so so happy for you!
Quick background, we tried for about 2.5 years and had both male and female factor IF. We were able to get pregnant in July after 2 surgeries for Darling Husband, 3 failed rounds of oral meds, 2 failed rounds of injectables w/ timed intercourse and finally got preggo with injectables+IUI.
I think going through what we have gone through makes us hardwired to be worried that something will go wrong. After all, that’s what we’re used to. And, even when things do go right, it’s usually followed by something going wrong. The further along I get in my pregnancy (I’m currently 22 weeks), the calmer I get. I still get worried before each and every appointment. I’ve had 7 visits, and 5 have included an ultrasound which helps so so so much. BUt, on the regular visits, I always get terriefied that they won’t be able to find his heartbeat. But, I’m learning to trust that I am pregnant and that I will stay that way. It’s hard and it’s scary, but it’s working. And, when I get too worked up, I tell myself that the stress isn’t good for me or the baby. Just know it does get easier and less scary. And enjoy every minute and pound and stretch mark. You’ve earned them!
Post # 13
We tried for 18 months and ended up seeking help. We got pregnant withour first IUI. It was defiently scary. Each ultrasound I’m like is everthing ok. I had a bed rest scare around 25 weeks. I think I finally relaxed a bit around 32 weeks regarding the baby be okay but now I’m freaking that I’m not ready. Ha. Only four more weeks to go.