Post # 1
Ok here goes.. Darling Husband and I TTC for 2 years before I had an investigatory laparoscopy. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis and my specialist advised me that he removed the scarring and that we should “be good to go” now.
We got pregnant first try after my surgery and I am now 11 weeks and 2 days.
My anxiety is really kicking my butt right now.. I have had so many negative tests in the last 2 years and cried so many times over not being able to fall pregnant that this doesn’t feel real yet and I am so scared that it will all go away.
I am scared of everything, literally everything.. every twitch, pain, feeling, thought. Everything makes me terrified that something will go wrong and we will lose the baby. Even writing this post is stressing me out, like I am jinxing it or something.
I thought hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time would calm me down and when we were lucky enough to hear it at 7 weeks it did… for like a minute!
Now as I’m getting closer to the 12 week mark I feel like I am getting worse.. I want this baby so so badly that I am stressing myself sick at the thought of not ever getting to hold him/her in my arms… please tell me I am not the only person like this?
Post # 2
Yeah been there. That fear is always be there until you are giving birth, but please try to remember that the baby needs positive environment, especially a happy mom, and stressing is useless (I know I know easier said than done). You can also buy that thingy to listen to baby heartbeat at home to ease you each time you panicking. Helps a lot..
Post # 3
The rest of your life will be unrelenting terror. And it doesn’t stop once you give birth! You just get new worries like you’ll worry the baby will randomly stop breathing or choke on something or get pneumonia.
For today you are pregnant, and that is reason to celebrate. Please know that relaxing is what’s best for you AND baby. Whatever you feel, baby feels so please be kind to yourself.
Post # 4
Brickette : I am an anxious person and I was so worried for my whole pregnancy which was IVF and very wanted after an earlier loss. I think at some point you have to make peace with the fact that all you can do is your very best to relax and that there’s a very very good chance that your baby will be fine. The miscarriage rate after 8 weeks drops significantly. Try your best to enjoy being pregnant and embracing this little life within!
I remember relaxing a bit during second trimester, but then I found the last few weeks worrying, especially one day where I didn’t feel my baby move for several hours. I ended up driving myself to the hospital in the middle of the night, so upset and worried, but he was monitored and he was fine.
I am actually much more relaxed now that he’s here! Talk to your loved ones when you feel worried and practice self care (warm bath, cup of tea etc). I also found a free pregnancy counselling service in my area which helped me so so much!
So to answer your question, you are not the only one! It’s very normal and simply shows how much you love your bubba.
Post # 5
Deep breath. And congratulations. You’re not alone. I think most first timers (and second, and third) have some anxiety- but try, try if you can, to breathe through it. Pregnancy is filled with things you can worry about- what to eat, what not to eat, weird pains, constipation, spotting, cramping, feeling great (oh shit something must be wrong), feeling terrible (oh shit something must be wrong), am I too big?, am I too small?, I haven’t felt the baby move in 5 minutes, the baby is moving constantly- I’m telling you- it’s a rabbit hole if you let yourself head down there. Know that babies are incredibly resilient. And you, by simply caring and taking care of yourself, are already providing and protecting your new little human. At almost 12 weeks, you’re in great shape! Think good thoughts, and try if you can to relax and enjoy the amazing journey that your body is about to take you on. Trust me as a mom of two with another one on the way- it’s incredible every time.
Post # 6
First, you should definitely talk to your doctor about this. Anxiety during & after pregnancy happens to a lot of women, but your doctor will have the best suggestions on how to help.
Someome already mentioned this, but an at home heart rate monitor was very helpful for me. Hearing your baby’s heartbeat let’s you know everything is okay. I would hop on Amazon prime and order one.
Post # 7
- Wedding: December 1969 - City, State
I can totally relate to your fear and was rather paralysed by it leading up to every appointment up until 20 weeks. Miscarriage rate declines every week! A member on this forum reminded me that every single day is a day to celebrate! If you are a statistics kind of person, try this link. I relied heavily upon it in my first trimester. Once your anxiety subsides, you most probably won’t need it anymore!
Post # 8
Newgirl87 : It is easier said than done yes but even just coming here and talking about it and reading everyones replies is really calming and helpful so thank you xx
slomotion : Thank you 🙂 I am trying not to focus too much on the terror that awaits me.. I need to get over this hurdle first ha! I am a worrier with my dogs so I reckon it will be magnified times a millon when the baby comes.. hubby is the calm rational one so hopefully he can talk some sense into me!
ne11y23 : I swear my anxiety has gradually gotten worse in the last 5 or so years, I see a psychologist semi-regularly (haven’t for a few months) so I think I am going to go back and see him.. it really helps sometimes to have a random person tell me it will all be ok instead of friends and family ya know? xx
cclarkrun1 : Thank you, I think one of the reasons I do stress a lot is because I am having a pretty good pregnancy, I am only a little tired and have nausea (no vomiting) in the morning and then I’m usually good for the rest of the day.. I feel like it must not be real since I’m not feeling what everyone else seems to. I need to remembe that my mum didn’t get much morning sickness and had a great pregnancy with both my brother and I!
kissthesunkisstherain : Wow thank you so much for that link, it suprisingly did help!
princessandthepear : Thank you, I have my first obsetrics appointment tomorrow and it is absolutley something I will be bringing up, I am even going to book in with my regular psychologist who I havent seen in a few months.. he really helps me see things clearly!
Post # 9
Very, very normal. Take it one day at a time. And congrats!
Post # 10
Hugs to you Bee! You are so not alone. I never really got properly excited in my first trimester as I was so paranoid about losing my baby. I haven’t thrown up once, just had bad nausea in the first trimester (and when that started to improve, obviously took it as a sign something was wrong)!
If you’re nearly 12 weeks and you’ve heard your babies heartbeat, that’s huge! As PPs have said, there is always a reason to worry – the gap between my 12 week scan and when the baby started kicking, I was worried something was wrong and I didn’t know, then when the baby started kicking I got worried everything she got a bit quiet. Now I’m 34 weeks and still won’t relax until she’s in my arms (and then a whole other bunch of worries begin!)
So totally know it’s easier said than done when people say to relax. But the fact is, your odds of a successful pregnancy right now are hugely in your favour and everyday they get better! Congratulations on your pregnancy and try to enjoy it – it goes so fast!! xxx
Post # 11
Brickette : First congrats!I completely understand where you are coming from! It took me 2 yrs ,fertility treatments and losses to finally have my daughter. It was hard not to worry but I did feel better after getting to the second trimster but of course you always worry. I found it helpful just to try and relax and enjoy the pregnancy .I had learned after all I had been through I really didnt have control over the outcome . I bought a pregnancy journal and I wrote down symptoms and thoughts for each week of the pregnancy and added photos. It kinda helped me take the pregnancy literally week by week. Then I would do mediation. I had meditation for pregnancy, circle and bloom it is called. It had meditation for each week of pregnancy during the first trimester then it switched to every month. It basically started out relaxing your body then gave you visualzations of what is going on with the baby at that stage. It just helped me stay excited about the pregnancy and like I had some control. Like I was helping myself relax and stay positive at least. Hang in there it is normal what you are feeling. I do think as the pregnancy progresses you will start to feel better! Especially once you start feeling your little one kick!
Post # 12
First congratulations on the pregnancy. It’s always exciting but after two years it’s an even bigger deal.
I 100% know where you’re coming from. It took us two and a half years and six pregnancies to make it to 12 weeks were I am now. I’m terrified most days. We seen the baby on 4 different scans, heard the heartbeat every time and I still can’t relax. Each scan only brings me a few days of slightly lower stress.
I wish I had some advice. Talking about it helps some and my wonderful husband is always willing to listen. Just know you aren’t alone.
Post # 13
It’s totally normal to stress, especially when you’ve had fertility issues. But you do sound like you may have legitimate anxiety disorder, so I suggest you talk to your doctor because there are safe ways to manage anxiety in pregnancy. Doing things that bring your stress levels down are good too.
And remember that your doctor and nurses should be there to reassure you and you can always go get monitored if you truly feel something is wrong. A lot of it is probably more irrational anxiety, but if your doctor isn’t compassionate and willing to give you monitoring when you really need it then find a new doctor.
Post # 14
My father told me, years ago, that his worry and concern for my well being is much the same as an adult as when I was a baby. He doesn’t suffer from anxiety, but having kids just means you are constantly concerned about and aware of these other people in a way you haven’t been before.
Separately- you might look into getting yourself a meditation practice STAT! There are some great guided meditation videos on YouTube that can help you regulate your breathing and thought spirals. Turn one on, breathe your way through it and if you need to, do it all over again or pick another one and do that! You may still feel worry or anxiety when things arise, but you can get in the habit now of making your baseline a more easeful state and then, over time you’ll be able to to catch the anxiety earlier and before it knocks you off kilter.
Post # 15
I don’t have much advice because I’m in the same boat. We had one early loss and so this pregnancy I’ve lived in near constant terror that something would wrong. My first ultrasound at 12 weeks my blood pressure was 166/85 (when it’s never over 120) because I was terrified.
I told myself that after I heard a heart beat it would be better, then after we got out of the first trimester, then after we got NIPT tests back, then after I felt the baby move, and now we’re a day shy of our anatomy scan still nervous.
That being said, I’ve gotten into some prenatal yoga and daily meditations/affirmations that have lowered it from moderate anxiety to what I consider to be healthy new-parent nerves. Definitely do some digging to figure out what works best for you and reach out to your doctor if the anxiety because anything that starts to interfere with your daily life and routines.