Post # 1
Hey bees! I haven’t posted in probably two years so I’m excited to be here again!
So here we go… I just found out last night that I’m pregnant! But here’s some back story… I’ve had two miscarriages in the last two and a half years… one at 8 weeks and one at 17 weeks.
So last night Darling Husband and I were so excited when we found out, but then realized I’m only about 2 1/2 weeks pregnant. Which means it’s going to be a few weeks before our doctor will see me and even longer before we tell anyone. And today, that’s really getting to me. I’m very emotional because I want so badly to tell my mom PLUS knowing it’s going to be at least a few weeks before this pregnancy is confirmed is really getting to me. I’m so worried about it because of how my last two pregnancies turned out. I just need a chill pill and for someone tell me that it’s going to be okay!
Post # 2
First of all, congrats!!!
Second, if you’re getting a positive result on a home test, then you could call your doctor and ask for a blood test if you wanted, and that would at least tell you if things appear to be headed in the right direction at this early stage. I also have a history of miscarriage, and my doctor was happy to order HCG betas for me when I got my first squinter at 9dpo so we could get some peace of mind (or not) from that.
Finally, could you still tell your mom? My mom was a great support to me during my miscarriage, so I told her within like a day of getting my BFP on my healthy pregnancy. It definitely helped having her support through the angst of the first trimester when everything felt so tenuous!
Post # 3
tiffanybruiser : Thank you!!
I hadn’t thought about that. We’re using a new doctor this time around (specializes in high risk) so I wonder if they’d do that for a new patient. I might still end up telling my mom right away. I would just hate to bring her into it and get her hopes up just to be let down again. I know, that’s a very bleak way of thinking, but I just can’t help it! My mind is just all over the place today!
Post # 4
Honey – your mom’s hopes are for you to be happy, no doubt she wants to be supportive of you. You aren’t letting her down if something happens – you are sharing an experience that is not uncommon for women. If YOU need the support, and she is capable of providing it (ie: your relationship is close) reach out to her under strict confidence. It’s okay to be both excited and scared! ❤️
Post # 5
tayegs : Congratulations Bee! Fingers crossed for a healthy and happy 9 months 🌸.
As pp mentioned, perhaps you can get your doc to order betas for you 😊 .
With regards to telling your mom, it might make you feel better to tell her now and have someone to lean on for support whether this pregnancy works out or not. You don’t have to go through anxiety alone, and seeing as you want to tell your mom, I’m guessing you two have a good relationship.
All the best for the months ahead ❤️
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2018 - City, State
No advice, just hugs to you and your fam. What a nerve-wracking place to be in.
Post # 7
Just here to echo sentiments of earlier posters. If you are close with your mom, it is perfectly fine to tell her now under confidence. If you don’t think that’s wise (also totally fine), I would definitely suggest you think about someone else you’re close with, a close friend, sister etc who you can tell this early without worry that they will spread it around who can help be part of your support system.
Post # 8
Thanks y’all! It helps so much to hear your perspectives. It’s just so nerve-wracking and there are a million emotions and thoughts going through my head.
I made my appointment today – May 8th, ughh!! That’s going to be such a long wait.
I do think I’ll tell my mom. We are close and I know she would keep it to herself. And I know it would make me feel better and probably Darling Husband, too, to know that we’ve got someone in our corner during this agonizing wait.
Post # 9
tayegs : I can definitely relate. We started trying for our second in June 2016. I had an ectopic in October 2016, followed by a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks in July 2017 & another missed miscarriage at 9 weeks in December 2017. I’m currently 25 weeks pregnant with my rainbow. I spent the whole first trimester wrapped in anxiety though. We basically took it one day at a time and every day I ended on a thankful reminder – “today I am pregnant”. I also had to find coping techniques so that I could function. I listened a lot of calming music, went for walks and tried to carry on as normal. I think a common self protection method is to not get too attached and to fear the worst. I hope that you are able to find peace in the coming weeks and your appointment goes well on May 8th!
Post # 10
tayegs : I’ve had 2 miscarriages, I know the feeling.
The 12 week rule isn’t real. It’s completely up to you who and when you share your news.
If you WANT to wait to tell people at 12 weeks, 20 weeks or any other time, that’s completely fine.
If you WANT to tell everyone at 2 weeks, that is also completely fine.
Both of my pregnancies, I told my Mother-In-Law, SIL, best friend and best work friend. They were excellent support during the duration of both of the pregnancies, and the miscarriages. I wouldn’t hesitate to tell them again.
But fingers x for you that this is your sticky baby.
Post # 11
ColoradoGirl : Thank you so much for your insight! Taking it one day at a time is so hard, but that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m definitely going to try those coping techniques. I hadn’t really thought about that.
rosadiaz : I’m definitely going to tell my mom and dad. I’d rather have their support through this whole process than feel like we’re alone.
Thank y’all so much! 😊
Post # 12
tayegs : Call and see if you can get a blood test. I had two back to back miscarriages and my doctor immediately sent me in for a reading on my HCG and progesterone and that helped a lot.