Post # 1
Regular bee going anonymous here.
My husband and I have been married for less than a year. And my period is late by six days.
I took a pregnancy test three days ago, and it was negative. I took two pregnancy tests in a row tonight, and both were clear positives.
I know I should be happy, but we were not trying to conceive. We’re in our early twenties and thought it would be 2-4 more years before we even started trying. We screwed up about three weeks ago, I took a Plan B less than 24 hours later, and thought it would be fine.
I dont think I could go through with an abortion. That’s something I might have considered before we were married, but I know we want to have kids SOMEDAY even if now was not the ideal time. We both have degrees, and husband has a steady job. I’m actually a teacher and I’m in between schools right now. I resigned from my last position, and had planned to move to another school district this year. We’re closing on a house on June 22, but we chose the house as a starter home for the two of us, not a family.
I already told my hubs. I thought about waiting to tell him to plan something cute, but I am so freaked out right now that I told him almost immediately. He is mostly just worried about me being worried, but I can tell he’s freaked out, too. We are NOT ready to be parents.
Has anyone else been through a similar situation? Or have an “oh shit” moment when they found out they were pregnant? I know I should be happy, but I can’t help feeling sad that we did not get to just enjoy each other longer before bringing a baby into the mix. And I’m worried that I’m not ready to be a parent. Any advice or kind words welcome.
Post # 2
I got pregnant at 23 and my boyfriend at the time and I were definitely not ready. We weren’t even living together and I had a crappy part time job. And honestly our relationship was pretty much over when it happened. I had considered getting an abortion but I couldn’t go through with it. I had the baby and I’m not going to lie it was tough. I had little to no support from my boyfriend and I lost a good majority of my friends because our priorities changed. I only stayed with my son’s dad till he was nine months old because I found out he had been cheating on me for at least the past year. Going through all of that was hard. Crazy hard. But so so so worth it. My little guy is now 6 and I can’t picture my life without him. I also have a 15 month old and we were kind of lazy trying but even after I found out I was pregnant i was so freaked out and didn’t think I was ready for another one. I don’t
Post # 3
Sorry my phone froze and then cut me off…..
I don’t think anyone is 100% ready even if you’re trying. If I’m being honest I wasn’t very excited for most of my pregnancy the second time but once I delivered him I fell in love right away. Having kids is hard but it’s so rewarding! You already know that you want to have kids so really what’s 2 years early. I know you’re probably going through a lot of emotions but you got this! Ya the initial reaction isn’t the most excited but that’s totally a normal reaction to have and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.
Post # 4
I was trying to get pregnant and still had some panicked moments after the test turned positive! I think it is really common and normal to worry. The good news is that baby isn’t coming tomorrow! Luckily you have about 8 months to get ready, to have those talks with your husband, to make choices and plans. Use that time to also really enjoy being with your husband–make lots of time for being together one on one. Talk to friends, relatives, or people on the boards about how you feel, about any questions you have. But most of all, remember that you are not alone! It’s something like half of pregnancies are a surprise, so you’re in good company, and even those of us planning a pregnancy have had that sudden realization of “OMG can I really do this?!” even if we are older, married longer, etc.
Post # 5
My first was a surprise! I actually found out like 30 days before our wedding so I was pretty stressed out. And yes, I had the “oh shit” feeling on and off for months. I was definitely old enough (29) it’s just a big surprise and it can take awhile to adjust and I even felt I wasn’t old enough (which is silly, but I still felt that way at 29). We also wanted to wait another year or two but I wasn’t willing to have an abortion for this pregnancy seeing as I was with my husband and we did want kids one day (I totally would have not had an issue with it if I had gotten pregnant at a different point in life as I did not meet my husband until 27). It will work out, but give yourself the okay to go through the emotions or sadness if you need to. Mine is 3 now and it’s the greatest, even though we didn’t wait the extra year or two. I also have a six month old now and I even had that “oh shit” feeling again with him when I found out hah (although not to the extent with my first). We wanted another but I got pregnant a few months earlier than planned and I was pretty surprised by it. I just got pregnant way too easily with both (we had sex one time with both babies) hence the “oh shit” feeling. It’s totally a normal reaction!! Even people on the POAS or TTC boards have that feeling and they have been planning it! You have 9 months to prepare and you will figure it out and get more used to it as time goes on
Post # 6
Yes I felt that way when I found out. I’m due in October and still struggle with it everyday. Feel free to pm me if you want.
Post # 7
summerbride0909 : I’m in my 30s pregnant with my second child and still panicked when I got a positive test. It’s completely normal to freak out when you realize your pregnant regardless of your age or level of readiness. During pregnancy I think almost all moms feel overwhelmed by the thought of balancing their current responsibilities and a newborn, and it’s okay. There is never a perfect moment in life to have a baby, but by having a loving partner and both of you already being out of college you’re ahead of the game.
Post # 8
Your reaction is totally normal! I’m in my late twenties, yesterday was our 1 year wedding anniversary and also the day we found out I’m pregnant. Totally freaked out and not ready since we were planing to wait a couple more years, but it’s definitely a good surprise. My parents had me (unplanned) when they were in their early twenties with just my mom’s income for most of my life and everything turned out fine. While they did have to make some sacrifices, and we definitely will too, they said it was all worth it and they wouldn’t change a thing. One of my coworkers even got preggers at 14 and everything worked out for her too. It’s going to be an amazing adventure!
Post # 9
I’m 29 and was desperately TTC for 5 months and still freaked out when it was finally positive. I don’t feel entirely ready.. but I also don’t think I’ll ever feel anymore ready. Eventually you have to choose to take the plunge or not.
I understand that you aren’t in the place you wanted to be and this wasn’t planned, but it doesn’t seem like you are in a horrible position for a baby.
9 months is a lot to prepare too. I’m currently 6 months pregnant and don’t have a lot ready in terms of nursery and things for the baby… but I feel so much more prepared because I’ve done a lot of reading and my husband and I have had lots of conversations- in fact the next 3 months couldn’t come sooner!!
Post # 10
I’m TTC #2 and I feel a little freaked out that we aren’t ready. We are 30 and own our own townhouse. We could have more money, better cars, better school districts, but I’m okay with making the adjustments we need to make it work. I think that it is totally normal to worry. Just know that it is okay to be freaked out and somehow things always seem to work out as they should. I know it must be hard with so much changing in your life right now. Try and take it one day at a time.
Post # 11
I got pregnant when my twins were 8 months old. Def an oh shit moment and I am still very scared of how I will be able to handle it but I see babies as a gift and know ultimately I will manage and love this baby and I am lucky to have conceived. There’s never a perfect situation or time don’t worry!!!
Post # 12
I think your reaction is totally normal. I’m turning 25 on Friday actually and my Darling Husband and I aren’t planning to try until i’m 27 more than likely. However, we have discussed that if an accident happened we would be keeping it. I think sometimes life doesn’t go according to plan and that’s beautiful and perfect in it’s own way. This baby beat out plan B… it’s meant to be here 😉 Congratulations! I’m sure as time goes on, you see the heartbeat etc you will start to be more excited. Honestly I’m sure everyone can think of at least one reason to postpone having kids. I guess i’ve always been in the camp of what’s meant to be will be. Meaning if birth control measures fail, that baby is supposed to be here!