- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
I just thought maybe venting would help the way im feeling right now. Im 29 weeks pregnant and my husband had to leave this morning to Afganistan. I havent been able to stop crying for the past few days. I dont know if its because im pregnant and thats why i cant seem to get my emotions under raps or what. Maybe if i list what he is going to miss I’ll be a bit better:
1. the birth of our baby girl… Due May 28, 2011
2. Our first wedding annerv. August 3, 2011
3. A few birthdays
He will be gone the hole summer. Things that have me concerned:
That there is a possibility he wont be coming home :*(. Delivering this baby by myself. Trying to find someone to watch the baby and the other two girls when my maternity leave is over so i can get back to my job. Around here daycares arent open at 5 am. I wish he or i had family that lived here or near here. I wish I had opened up to people so i’d have a support group. In that same resprospect I wish I had more friends. My husband is basically my ONLY friend. I keep to myself otherwise (been used and abused by too many friends and therefore ive shut every possibility of friendship down). Our dog is diabetic and has to have 2 shots a day. Just last night he had his first seizure and we thought he was dead! Im scared to be without my husband when/ if our dog dies. Im scared i wont be as good with homework with my two older girls. My 10 year olds homework is soooo hard!! My husband is definatly better with that then i am. He is my left arm and I am his right. I’ve done the single parent thing before and im not looking forward to it again. at least its only for a short time. People tend to step it up when they have to.
I wish he could be here for the birth of our child :*( I know he wants to be here but cant. I would love for him to beable to hold our baby and play with her and yes learn how to change diapers! Our baby will be 4-5 months old when he returns. My two girls ages 8 and 10 were from a boyfriend i had way back when; My husband came into our lives when my girls where ages 1 & 3. so he missed the diaper stages. He has adopted my two girls 🙂
Its only a 7 month deployment, It could be a lot longer but we got lucky. My medical is going to be fully covered 🙂 and instead of being in debt after this baby is born we will be sitting on a great note. Missing him this much already makes me apreciate him a lot more. On how much i depend on his love and support/ His companonship/ He is afterall my Best friend.
Thanks for letting me vent. I know i can do this, I know I can figure things out, I know that I will be strong, Im sure things will work out in the end. I know that some of my concerns seem stupid, I know that men go off to war everyday leaving their families behind, I know im not alone in this sort of experience, I know that when i married him this could happen, Most of all I know I LOVE HIM! I know I MISS HIM terribly. I know Im very sad.
222 days to go until I see him again
thanks for reading