Post # 31
It does sound like he is selfish. I know I’ve heard the first year of marriage can be the hardest, throw in a new teenager living with you and a new town and job sounds REALLY hard. I would give it some more time and push for counseling before you make up your mind for a divorce.
However, if it doesn’t work out I’d just move back to your hometown to raise the baby to be around your family and friends. Could you get your old job back?
Post # 32
Brielle: thank you for your post. It is so helpful. I am also a Christian as is my husband. For him, divorce isn’t an option, and I used to feel that way too but lately it has seemed like the only way out.
I really appreciate your insight and you sharing your own experiences with counseling. I will definitely check out the book and I’ll look for a therapist trained in imago therapy.
I posted this because despite how I feel right now , I do want to try to make it work somehow. I got into this marriage for a reason. It’s good to hear from someone who has gone through something similar. It seems like I’m the only one I know that has these problems but posts like yours show me I’m not alone and my problems aren’t insurmountable.
Post # 33
lmnop1984: if he is a Christian and doesn’t believe in divorce or therapy, will he see your pastor with you?
I would definitely explain to him (and he must know some of this, he obviously had a relationship long enough to have a daughter who is now a teenager) that not believing in divorce isn’t the end game, it’s only the first step.
What he’s doing is like a doctor saying to a bleeding patient I don’t believe in amputation. Well, that’s a great start, but please address the bleeding.
Post # 34
lmnop1984: And on top of all of those changes, your body is going through hormonal and physical changes! Yikes! No wonder you feel the way you do. I hope that Brielle’s suggestions help you. Hugs
Post # 35
My first year of marriage was horrrriiibble. We were long distance first too, then I moved to a new city to be with him, new job, few friends, etc.
I went into counseling because my husband insisted the problems were all on my side. Counseling really helped me, and my husband – on his own – decided to read some books and get some on-the-job training that actually changed him as a person. We’re now going into year 3 of marriage and we’re happier than ever. I’d try counseling for yourself and see how it goes from there