Pregnant and upset

posted 10 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
Member
1885 posts
Buzzing bee

Friends talk, I have had one myself and am very open about it with my girlfriends. So yes women do talk about how they felt about it and it’s not a stretch to say they don’t regret it. I was very open with people about how glad I am I did it and how it was the right choice For me. I never for a single moment have felt guilty or felt regret. If I had felt any regret you bet i would have also shared that with my friends. So yes, these women sharing their friends experience don’t deserve your “yeah right” comments. ladyvk :  

Post # 47
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

I have no judgement for whichever choice you make. I think it is very smart to have the consultation to start. I have 3 kids. All were planned but I can tell you that with each positive pregnancy test (and I had a couple miscarriages too so it was 5 total) that I totally freaked out. Even if you desperately wanted a baby right this second, it is a major life change and it is totally normal to be scared or not 100% excited. I obviously do not know your life cicumstances so I will not even try to make a statement about whether or not you should go through with the pregnancy. All I can say is it is normal to be unsure and you should ask yourself and your partner which would be worse, having a baby now or not having a baby now and potentially not being able to have one in the future. Which is a worse case scenario? Chances are though that if you got pregnant so unexpectedly you will be able to get pregnant again but life is funny how it can throw curveballs at you and nothing is guaranteed. But in any case, take a deep breath and get through your consultation tomorrow (and start with prenatals today just in case you decide to proceed). Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts!

Post # 48
Member
723 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard

https://obgyn.ucsf.edu/maternal-fetal-medicine/zika-virus-frequently-asked-questions-our-patients

 

Looks like there is a test that will show whether the virus is present in your body as long as you get tested within 2 weeks of exposure, otherwise they can test you for antibodies to the virus up to 12 weeks following exposure. And they would probably recommend you abstain from sex or use condoms so your husband doesn’t infect you during the pregnancy if he is Zika positive. 

I think you probably need answers from your healthcare provider re: Zika risk before you make a decision but either way I’m sorry you’re in this position and I wish you the best of luck. For myself personally I’m trying hard to get pregnant but if I knew I was Zika positive and there was a good chance of my baby having microcephaly etc I would have an abortion too. Good luck! ❤️

Post # 50
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I ended up pregnant somewhat unexpectedly last summer.  Like you, I had been to a country with Zika recently, hadn’t been taking prenatals, drinking like a fish, etc.  The first thing I did was go to an OB/GYN (I didn’t even have one because of new insurance) to confirm the pregnancy and get an order for bloodwork to test for Zika. Then I started taking prenatals while I let the news sink in.  I got the results from the test two weeks later. I recommend that you go do that.  See how far along you are, see what the Zika test results look like, consider taking a prenatal for now and go from there.  You don’t need to make a decision today.    

Post # 52
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

For what it’s worth, I think a year or two ahead of schedule won’t change much in the grand scheme of things. You can still travel this year. Babymoons are a booming industry for a reason. You can still enjoy your time with your husband. You have nine months to prepare, it’s not all happening at once, although I can understand how it might feel that way. 

Personally, though I am CFBC, if I were in your shoes, I couldn’t bring myself to terminate due to inconvenient timing. That wouldn’t seem fair to me, especially if I wanted kids in a year or two anyway. Though others feel differently, and this is in no way a judgment toward women who feel that way. This is too personal of an issue for any of judgy nonsense. I just wanted to share how I would feel. I often feel reading others’ perspectives help me formulate my own, even if I wouldn’t do or feel the same way. 

Breath, relax, pamper yourself. Don’t decide now. But do know that everything will be okay. You’ll get through this. We are all rooting for you.

Post # 53
Member
734 posts
Busy bee

Although I’m not recommending travel to a Zika area for anyone TTC or currently pregnant… if it makes you feel better, there are millions of women in the world who live in Zika countries that have no choice but to have their pregnancies there and most of them obviously do not have Zika affected babies. You are most likely carrying a Zika free baby but I 100% understand the anxiety around your situation and would be running to the doctor for a Zika test as well. Just wanted to remind you that just because you traveled there doesn’t mean with 100% certainty that you contracted the virus. I hope you get good news and it helps calm some worry regarding your decision. 

Post # 55
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

secretacct :  Yay! <3 happy for you. Sounds like youre choosing to continue and as long as thats what you want then I am very excited for you!

Post # 56
Member
734 posts
Busy bee

secretacct :  I’m so happy for you that your mind was put at ease today. Hopefully the test results come back good and you find peace in whatever decision you guys make! 

Post # 58
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

secretacct :  I came to say that your chances are probably very low and glad your doctor sounds very reasonable. I live in a “zika region” where, like Costa Rica, there have been very few cases for years, and women have babies here every day with no problems. To be honest I think the current state of the risk is way overblown in the US media. Congrats on hearing the heartbeat! 

Post # 59
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee

lunalovegood88 :  agreed. When I was traveling to miami a while ago I did some research on Zika since there was an uptick there. Apparently it’s been around since the 50s. There’s all kinds of conspiracy theories out there about what really is causing the microcephaly in Brazil given that Zika has been around for a while.

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