Pregnant at the same time

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
6165 posts
Bee Keeper

It’s kind of ridiculous that you think this is an issue. It’s not as though you can pick and choose to get pregnant. Other women are allowed to be pregnant when you are, even if they’re in your family. My SIL and I were pregnant at the same time – her due date was 2 months later than mine. It was no big deal and I’m really puzzled as to why you’re deliberately  making it into something “uncomfortable “.

Post # 3
Member
1700 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
mel2 :  It’ll just be fun that the kids can play with each other at family parties.  I don’t think you need to form a close relationship with the mom for that to happen.  Just politely coexist. 

Post # 4
Hostess
9777 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

If I were you, I’d be excited for my new addition to have a family member close in age for bonding, playing, and growing.

Honestly, it’s probably hormones. Take a deep breath – I mean, she was pregnant before you, so…. ??? If you don’t like her, keep your distance. Anyways, congrats! 

Post # 5
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

such a first world problem. I would not think too much about it. You guys don’t need to be close at all and it will be nice to have someone to talk about pregancy with since majority of non pregnant people can only talk about pregrancy so much. 

Post # 6
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee

She was pregnant first, so shame on you for getting pregnant during HER 9 months. Tsk tsk.

Seriously though, this is a non-issue. No one is saying you have to labor together. 

Post # 7
Member
8514 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I mean, if you guys were both pregnant with your first kids, then I guess I could see some people expecting you guys to somehow bond over all the firsts. But you said in another post that this is your 4th kid, right? So I think this is much ado about nothing. 

You don’t have to be friends. Your kids don’t have to be friends. It’s be great if they were, but que sera sera.

Post # 8
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

If you found out via a Facebook invite to the baby shower, clearly you’re not that close and you don’t see these people often. So, what’s the big deal? Honestly, it’s absurd of you to immediately think about yourself when finding out someone else is pregnant. Are you that worried about her stealing your/your baby’s spotlight? Yes, this is bratty. 

Post # 9
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

You’re absolutely right, you’re being way too bratty. You should be thankful if she wants a friendship with you. I cannot comprehend how you managed to turn a joyous situation into drama. 

Post # 10
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee

This isn’t something you should even be thinking about.

Post # 11
Member
376 posts
Helper bee

How old are you?

Post # 12
Member
337 posts
Helper bee

If it is any consolation, I too got emotional over the stupidest things when I was pregnant – with my first. I am ashamed to think of those things now….as you will be looking back on making this an issue.

I was totally chill for #2 though, and if PP is right, and this isn’t your first rodeo, you need to step back and allow this cousin’s gf to enjoy her moment  – esp if it’s her firstborn. 

View original reply
mel2 :  

Post # 13
Member
4876 posts
Honey bee

Hey, we can’t help how we are feeling, but it’s good to recognize that you are being irrational feeling this way.  

Just vent about it and then try your best to be cordial.  His family will still be just as excited for your baby as they will theirs.  And I do think it will be really nice for those two to have each other at family events.

 

Post # 14
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Who knows, you might find your relationship with the gf improves once you both have something (ie kids) in common.

Post # 15
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What I’m hearing is that you are not upset about sharing the spotlight (way to put words in her mouth like she is a worried about thunder stealing bride), you are upset because the overlap will cause the family to pressure you to be close. It makes sense. They are a warm and welcoming family, and this will be a close in age second cousin. I come from a big close family, so I now how that pressure feels. 

Either way, it’s not a big deal. Maybe your kids will be close and it will automatically repair the relationship you currently with this woman. Or maybe the kids won’t even want to play together like that, so you won’t feel obligated for play dates. Maybe one if you will move far away, and this will be a non issue. Either way, you don’t have to be worried about being fake or things feeling forced. Just do what feels natural. Babies have a way of putting trivial things into perspective. You will very soon understand how truly petty this is. 

You know you are being irrational and bratty, so need for me to point that out. You came here to vent, and as long as it doesn’t bleed out IRL, you are fine. 

Congrats! A H&H remaining pregnancy to you!!! 

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