(Closed) Pregnant Bridesmaid?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 5
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I’d go ahead and tell her and keep it hush hush. When I was pregnant, I wasn’t a bridesmaid, but at 8 months, I was DONE. I could barely move. LOL You never know how you will feel, but maybe she’ll make it so you can keep the option open if you feel god and want to purchase another dress.

Post # 6
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have an EDD of October 13th, and was asked to be a BM for an October 20th wedding.

So upset I will have to miss the wedding ๐Ÿ™ Like, not be in it and stand for the bride is one thing, but to not be there? Oh man ๐Ÿ™

I told the bride and we haven’t even told our parents yet. I felt so awful. When I told her I just sort of left it at because it’s so early, no decision making right now, just wanted her to know, and we’ll see what happens with more time. I think for you, when you do tell her, I wouldn’t suggest or ask for any resolution, just to tell her and respect and value any thoughts or decision she comes forward with? I guess that is the best you can do? Is there far distance to travel required?

Post # 7
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I haven’t been pregnant before now, so I don’t know how I would feel at 8 months pregnant, but a friend of mine was in several weddings late in her pregnancy, and I’m assuming she just took it easy.  Think about it this way- you’re going to have to stand for photos and the ceremony, but other than that, you can park it in a chair and relax. My bridesmaids were done with pictures after like, 20 minutes, so it’s not unreasonable to think that you could make it through it. Also, November weather-wise is a lot friendlier to a pregnant woman than the middle of summer!

I would tell your friend now- honestly, maybe they can stop the order on the dress. See if the designer can make it in a maternity size- a lot of bridesmaid dresses come this way in that they are cut to accomodate the belly.

Honestly, if she is a good friend, she is going to be thrilled for you, and a pregnant bridesmaid is not something to stress over. Only a real bridezilla would freak out over hearing such wonderful news, and hopefully your friend loves you enough to just be happy and understand that you’re just pregnant- you’re perfectly capable of doing your bridesmaid duties, you just might need to modify them a little (ie, no shots on the bachelorette for you!).

Post # 8
Member
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

One of my bridesmaids was pregnant! She wasn’t super far along, just far enough that we exchanged her dress for a size or two up. It probably would have be easier if she were in her second trimester since the biggest issues for her were morning sickness and exhaustion. I made sure to plan the day of activities around her so everyone would be more comfortable. For example, I don’t normally eat breakfast in the morning but my friend needed to eat fairly soon after getting up to not feel sick. So, we scheduled a girls breakfast the morning of and all had breakfast together before moving on to hair and make up. For getting ready, I made sure she had a private bathroom right there in case she felt sick, which she did, but she was really discreet about it and didn’t let it bring her down. The actual ceremony was fairly short so she didn’t have to stand long, pictures didn’t take too long, and then she and her Darling Husband left a little early after the cake cutting. I absolutely love that she was able to be there with me and was happy to accommodate her in any way.

You’ll be a lot farther along than she was, but if you’re still interested in being in the wedding I’d start making plans now.  For starters, I’d call the company you ordered from, let them know the situation, and see if you can change your order for a much larger size. Since it’s hard to know how big you’ll be, I’d order waaay up since you can always have it taken in, but it’s much harder to have it let out. If you were planning on helping a lot with the wedding, I’d help out early on and pass on day of duties and any sort of physical work to someone else. Once the wedding comes around see how you feel, you won’t have to be on your feet too much and can try to take it easy.

Post # 9
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Another friend and I was in a wedding when we were 7/8 months pregnant. Everything worked out fine. The bride was so understanding and made sure we were comfortable. The bridal salon worked with me to make sure my dress fit. It all worked out in the end.

Post # 10
Member
2067 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What is the dress like?  I’ve had friends be in wedding when they are several months pregnant, and definitely showing… They just order a larger dress and have it altered closer to the time… As long as it has belly room ๐Ÿ™‚  I would deal with it with the salon ASAP to try to change the size you ordered

Post # 11
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m barely 23 weeks pregnant and I can’t imagine being a guest at an all-day function, much less actually participating in one! I suggest you just tell her the truth and do it sooner than later (the more you put it off the more you’ll stress about it — and that won’t be good for you). If you tell her now, she can make other arrangements too, which will give her time to plan things out.

If it was me, I wouldn’t do it. The potential of stressing out and complicating things for everyone else outweighs it. Plus, the attention should be on her that day, and whether you like it or not, a fully pregnant woman that’s ushered down the aisle will detract attention, even if it’s just a few comments from strangers asking how you’re feeling and if you’re doing alright.

I’d probably tell her after I heartbeat is detected though.

Post # 12
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If this helps one of my bridesmaids is pregnant and at my wedding she will be 8 months, but i am not bothered in the least. She feels confident in her ability to stand during the ceremony, she will be wearing an adorable maternity dress and flip flops, she will look so sweet in my pics and in the wedding. But if she isn’t feeling up to it when the big day rolls around then by goodness I certainly will not make her do it. I have never been pregnant, but as a woman I would’t do that, there is no pressure on her to perform. I don’t see why there should be any unwanted pressure on you to perform.

Post # 14
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

One major factor that far along would be where the wedding is. Many doctors would prefer you not be more than an hour oot from where you plan to deliver by the time you’re 8 mths.

And I know that even with this being my 2nd and being 36 weeks, my feet have been swelling if on them for even a couple of hours much less all day for a few weeks now. Definitely not good for a standing through a ceremony & trying to fit into dress shoes.

Even if you cannot make it TO the wedding though there are still lots of things you can do through the planning & then like you said just kind of leave the actual wedding day open for option.

Post # 15
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

The PP gave great advice about the travel, etc. What brand is your bridesmaid dress? If it’s J Crew, they can give you extra fabric that matches your dress, and you could get an extra panel or extra length put in really easily. Other dress manufacturers may also be able to do that ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

As a wedding photographer, I can tell you that it feels like every wedding has at least one hugely preggo Bridesmaid or Best Man and it’s not a big deal at all. If the bride is your friend, she’ll completely understand and be SO grateful that you aren’t bailing on her (at least not unless something goes seriously wrong where you don’t feel up to it).

I say just move forward with the wedding, and dont address this with her in an apologetic tone – this is an exciting and happy time for you, don’t let anyone interpret it as you doing something wrong. In my experience, the more guilty you act about your pregnancy with brides the more the brides start to feel like they’ve been screwed, where as if you don’t make a big deal, it’s suddenly not one to them.

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