Post # 1
One of my bridesmaid will be a little over 8 months pregnant during my wedding. I’m so estatic for her but I’m really concerned about her health and the baby.
My wedding is a destination wedding in Hawaii and will require her to fly 6 hours each way. I am having a traditional catholic wedding which will require a lot of standing and sitting for the court. Later, we will be walking around the resort in mid 80 degree weather to take pictures for about an hour.
I’ve mentioned to her that I want her to put her health and her baby first but insists on being a part of the court. I’m fine with having her on but I just get worried about the baby. Any advice?
Post # 3
if her doctor says it’s ok then she should be fine, she should ask! Also maybe having a place she can sit and LOTS of water?
Post # 4
Has she spoken to her doctor yet? I thought that you weren’t allowed to fly after you were X amount of months pregnant (I’m really not sure if this is true). I would stress that she should clear it with her doctor to make sure the little one will be ok.
Post # 5
I think it is really up to her how much she participates. Some women might have absolutely no problem standing for long hours, taking long flights, etc… at eight months pregnant; others might be laid up in bed at six months. I would just let her know that you understand if she needs to sit down during the ceremony or only take a couple pictures. Just tell her to let you know if she needs anything. If she feels up to it and doesn’t feel like the heat/standing/long ceremony/walking will affect her, let her do what she wants! She might just not be affected by those things like other pregnant women would be.
Post # 6
There is some information I found online. You will need to ask her to speak with her doctor. Many doctors do no recommend flying in your third trimester. Airlines usually won’t allow you to fly if there is less than 1 month to the time of expected labor. Either way, it is ultimately up to her.
Post # 7
She forgot to ask her doctor. I will give you an update after she speaks to her doctor.
Post # 8
Ditto what MissMelissaB said – the biggest thing to check out immediately is whether she’ll be allowed to fly. If you’re okay with it, you should be able to accommodate her needs the day of with a chair to sit in, water if she’s feeling tired, etc. My matron of honor will be 8 months pregnant at my wedding, and I’m going to insist she sit down during the ceremony if she needs to. You should also think carefully about what you’re going to have her do for a dress and shoes; some women have no problem getting into strappy heels during their pregnancy, but for others (especially someone who’s feet swell!) that may be out of the question. We’re having a dress made for my Maid/Matron of Honor out of the same fabric that the other girls will be wearing, in order to leave room for her growing belly 🙂
Good luck – hopefully everything will work out just fine and she’ll be able to be a part of your special day.
Post # 9
Definitely have her ask her doctor. My Maid/Matron of Honor will be at just about 7 months and she’s already got a nice-sized baby-bump. I’m leaving her degree of participation up to her and will probably have a chair for her to sit in at the ceremony if she needs to.
Post # 10
She really needs to check with her DOCTOR and her INSURANCE most importantly, but also the airlines.
Different airlines have different restrictions about pregnant women flying.
I believe that the safe cutoff for travel is around the 7-8month mark, so she might be cutting it close.
Also- my insurance company won’t cover the cost of labor/delivery for patients that travel ‘outside the service area’ after 36 weeks (which corresponds to the end of the 8th month). So, if she goes into labor at your wedding, her insurance may not cover it!
Post # 11
Oh yikes! I thought the third trimester meant no flying. The changes in pressure can cause her to go into labor ASAP! If I were here, I’d be really scared, by the way, and probably say NO to being a Bridesmaid or Best Man although it would break my heart. Make sure she is putting herself and her baby first, not your wedding!
I think a little over 8 months is cutting it close, yikes! I think if you offer plentiful seating for her (even during the ceremony even if it looks weird that she’s sitting) that’d be the best you can do. Maybe give her a cute little umbrella/parasol to hold up =]
Post # 12
Like Mrs Spring said, it’s up to her. Everyone feels differently in pregnancy. I personally am nearly 8 mo pregnant and would have no physical limitations to sitting on a plane and standing during the ceremony. But some women will. It’s not possible to predict in advance, either. Offer her the option of having a chair during the ceremony. Let her pick her shoes.
She will need to check with her insurance and find out if she is covered in HI, just in case. And yes, there is a point where most doctors will tell you not to travel or fly, but it varies by doctor and by situation. A friend flew ~6 hours to her sister’s wedding when she was about 8 mo pg. But again, not everyone will be willing to or can.
Post # 13
My sister will be 7 and a half months pregnant and flying from CA to NY, so I can definitely relate to your concerns. Her doctor said she will be good to fly, but if this was her last pregnancy then she wouldn’t have been able to because she was having complications. It depends a lot on the individual. If she does decide to be part of the court, make sure she has ample WATER! She’ll dehydrate a lot faster than she’s used to with the baby.
Post # 14
Been there, done that. I will speak from my experience. My doctor wouldn’t let me fly after 36 weeks. I believe that is probably standard. And that is for healthy pregnancies. If there are any complications, forget about it.
And Rosy is right about incusrance. If you travel out side the coverage area, your Bridesmaid or Best Man will have to get ready to pony up the whole shot for her child to be born at a Hawaiian hospital.
I’ve heard the deal about airlines and requiring a doctor’s note, but I’m not sure if that would really stop her. If it’s her first pregnancy, she might not look like she’s 8 months pregnant, and therefore no one will ask. Who wants to screw that up??? Also, what’s to say, if she is rather large at that time, that she could tell the airline people that she was really only 6 months pregnant?
I don’t think she’ll be going.
Post # 15
She won’t be able to fly probably and won’t want to even if she gets permission. I flew for the last time at 36 weeks exactly and I swear the baby was up in my throat the whole flight. I wanted to die by the time i got off the plane. Oh, I’m about to throw up just thinking about how miserable I was. Anyway, give her an out and tell her to email me if won’t take it! 😉 It’s HORRIBLE.
Post # 16
UPDATE- I reminded my pregnant bridesmaid to check in with the doctor regarding the flight, weather and the activities she might encouter throughout the wedding day. I also expressed to her how important it is to keep her and her baby’s health the first priority and not to feel obligated to be a bridesmaid. I even offer to play a smaller part if she wants to.
She said that I hurt her feelings and reminded me that during her last pregnancy she worked till she was 8 months pregnant and during her last month she was rearranging her room every other day. She offered to step down upon my wish but was hurt of the thought when I asked her to be a bridesmaid and I should have known that there would be a possibility her family will be growing. When I asked her to be my bridesmaid I told her that I would accommodate her if anyone of the girls were to be pregnant. But I did tell her to make sure she was ok enought to walk around the sand to take pictures.
Also, she told me that she doesn’t know what a Catholic wedding entails because she has never been on a wedding court and her wedding was only 10 minutes long. Then she said that she was planning on going to Hawaii regardless being in the court or not cause she wants her little one to spend time with his family.
I was really hurt because I wasn’t trying to boot her as being my bridesmaid. I just want her and the baby to be ok. I just needed to vent about this….seriously I have never been stressed this whole time I was planning for my wedding until this came up.