Post # 1
I am getting married in July, and had asked my girls to be bridesmaids by last October. I had the dress picked out before that even, and we got them ordered in January of this year. After the dresses were ordered and shipped – I found out one of my bridesmaids is pregnant. The dress was chosen because they all told me there were no intentions of pregnancy before my wedding, so I chose a short more fitted dress with a rouched band in the middle for that very reason – there would be no baby bumps to deal with. I’m worried that the dress isn’t going to work right for a girl that will be 6 months pregnant (too short in the front, improper fit because of the rouching, etc) and think it will look bad to have one girl in a different dress when all the other girls will match. I’m struggling with this when the pregnancy was planned according to my bridesmaid – even after we ordered the dress! HELP!?
Post # 3
can you find something with a similar neckline and length with an empire waist? This will help it to be maternity apropriate without sticking out so much.
Post # 4
@missapis: she’s already bought the original dress. It was said that all sales are final so then asking her to purchase another dress would be an added expense and I don’t want to be the bad guy for that too.
Post # 5
@wifetobe7302011: perhaps she said it was planned because to say otherwise might look bad to her? Not everyone feels right saying it was an “accident”, especially when a lot of people don’t see their baby/child to be an “accident” if they’re going to love it. It can be complicated…
As for the dress, it’s impossible to say how big she’ll be. With my son, I was the good year blimp by 6 months, my daughter, it was a small bump. (admittedly, she decided to REALLY show herself by the end, but still! lol).
I’d say having one girl who’s got a baby-bump in a different style dress wouldn’t be a bad thing, all things considered. If she’s okay with it, and you are too, I wouldn’t worry. I doubt the other girls are going to throw a fit because of this.
The only other options would be 1) have her step down or 2)see if it can be altered. A good seamstress can tell you now if the dress can be altered or not.
Post # 6
this is one of those things, fortunately, that will work itself out. she’s not going to wear a dress that doesn’t fit her, which will force her to either a) buy herself a new dress or b) bow out.
Post # 7
Having her in a different dress won’t be that terrible. Ask her if she can buy a new one and if it becomes too much perhaps find another job, such as a reader.
Maybe it was planned, but at the time she thought it wasn’t going to happen as quickly as it did, and therefore wouldn’t affect the dress selection. No one wants to ruin your vision for something that might not even happen/be an issue.
Post # 8
I understand what you all are saying. I know the day will be perfect either way, but I feel as a good friend of mine, she should have told me that they were considering having another child sooner than she said previously. When, as a bride, I’m basing those dress decisions on the information I’m getting from the girls, and then to find out that I’ve been misled – especially when she knew the day we ordered the dresses that she was pregnant. And the child is a blessing no matter what, but not an accident either when she had purposely come off BC already.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
@Mrs. Meowerson: I agree. Honestly, I wouldn’t feel bad about asking her to buy another dress if it was me (or asking her to bow out). She told you she wouldn’t get pregnant. Whatever the reasons (accident or not), she got pregnant. It’s on her to fix it.
Post # 10
@wifetobe7302011: My sister after ordering her dress came up pregnant. Her husband and her were trying, but not everyone communicates that as it is very personal. Even as best friends and family we may not always know ahead of time of these things, even if we think we would.
Depending upon where you bought the dress it may be less of an issue than you think. My sister was able to order herself a new dress and pay a 10% penalty charge or restocking fee and not have to spend the money to buy an entire new dress. They will probably be able to move the band up to under the breasts and order it in a longer length so that it has a similar look.
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but as brides we sometimes forget that the world does not actually revolve around us and our friends and family have their own lives. Being upset because someone is having a big life change during your wedding planning is a little “bridezilla-y”. Try to find a solution first and if you can’t then make her a reader 🙂
Post # 11
this is happening to me too…..except with 2 bridesmaids that will be 8 & 9 months pregnant at the wedding
they had to buy another dress, on their own dime
Post # 12
Not at all trying to be a “bridezilla”….but it’s irritating to be lied to. I guess it’s out of my hands at this point, and she’ll be responsible for the financial part of it going forward. Thanks for the advice!
Post # 13
Plans change and as far as baby making goes it’s a rather personal/emotional question to ask, even if a dress choice is at stake.
I’m not sure what your dress looks like but at 6 months pregnant depending on how fitted it is I could wear it just fine with a little alteration so it probably won’t be that big of a deal. I think almost all my dresses still fit or almost fit at 6 months.
Post # 14
@wifetobe7302011: i think you need to let this go. it’s really no one’s business if they are trying except for them, and there could be a myriad of reasons why they’d want to keep this to themselves (maybe they feel as though they would embarass themselves if they can’t conceive).
Post # 15
@Mrs. Meowerson: I completely agree with you. Especially since it’s pretty common to NOT CONCIEVE in the first six months of trying. I was told by my dr to not worry unless you haven’t concieved in A YEAR (which is also the norm). So, yeah, she probably didn’t EXPECT to become pregnant so soon.
Also… no offense, but that is NO ONE’S business but the couples. I’d probably look at the person asking and straight out say “none of your business”. Or something to that affect.
Besides, if you actually have to ASK this question, wouldn’t that also mean there’s the CHANCE that it could happen? I highly doubt anyone is going to put their family plans on hold because a friend is getting married and they were asked to be a part of the bridal party. To ask that, IS being a bridezilla, in my opinion.
There’s also the fact she might have been “not trying not to” (or as I like to put it “come what may”). So, it’s possible she wasn’t trying TO have one, but she also wasn’t trying NOT TO. There are also medical reasons why people stop taking birth control. So, unless you ASKED why she stopped taking it and she came out and said because they were trying, you can’t assume it was to try to have a child.
If it were me, I’d be happy for her and her husband and not be worrying so much about a dress that can be altered or bought in a different style or size. That’s what friends do, right? Support each other and be happy for such events?
Post # 16
I understand why you’re angry, since she knew she was pregnant when you ordered the dress. But keep in mind that most people keep pregnancies secret until they’re 12 weeks along, since the risk of miscarriage is fairly high until that point.
But given that she knew this when you ordered the dresses, she shouldn’t object to having to buy a different dress.