Post # 1
So… FH’s sister is trying to get pregnant…
My wedding is September 1 2012 and I have an odd suspecion she will be very pregnant for the wedding.
What do you think?
Should I be upset? Concerned? OK with it?
Is it possible to be too pregnant for the wedding? Like what would you Bees consider be the breaking point (i.e. not in the wedding party)?
Any thoughts and opinions would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 3
I personally think you should be okay with it. There’s a chance she’ll be very pregnant at the wedding or have just had a baby, but that’s life.
I also think it’s up to her to decide if she can be in the wedding or not. She’ll know how she feels, whether it’s before or after the birth, and will be able to tell you if she’s going to be comfortable being in the wedding. I say just see how things go and if the situation arises, handle it then. I know it’s hard but don’t stress too much about something that hasn’t happened yet.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t have any problem with a pregnant bridesmaid. If you are close, then it shouldn’t matter. I would have a chat with her to see what her thoughts are.
Post # 5
I think you have to be okay with it. I know this is an exciting time in your life, but life continues to go on, and loved ones will make plans for their own lives at the same time. (I’m not saying you don’t know this, but just putting it out there as a reminder. )
I think if you were planning on including your Future Sister-In-Law in the wedding party before you knew she was trying to get pregnant, you should continue to include her now. If she does get pregnant/has a baby, it should be her decision on whether or not she wants to step down.
A friend of mine got married earlier this year, and her sister (a BM) was 8 months pregnant at the wedding. It was fine!
Post # 6
if you’re okay with it, then ask her and see if she’s okay with it. things to consider…she could be having a baby, she could be “too pregnant” to attend activities (fatigue, morning sickness, etc depending how far along), not be as helpful as you want her to be, and while your wedding is a very important and once in a lifetime event, having a baby is also a very important event for her and there’d definitely be some sharing of attention.
Post # 7
No.. I wouldn’t be upset or concerned..
Post # 8
I think it should be up to her. My only concern is if she was super super pregnant, she might have trouble standing through the ceremony and you wouldn’t want her to be uncomfortable or compromise her health. But if shes important to you, you should go ahead and ask her as you had planned to.
Post # 9
I think it’s fine, but if she is very close to her due date, it might be difficult or impossible for her to travel. I wouldn’t be too concnerned – I think she’ll know what she can handle.
Post # 10
Thanks for all the input… I just wish she would tell me and my FH. She has told her sister (who then told us) but has not told us yet that she is trying. (Which in my opinion she should… especially since the 3 siblings are close).
Post # 11
My wedding date is September 15, 2012 and my best friend is currently trying to get pregnant. I’m really excited for her and figure we’ll go with the flow and hope for the best. I hope more than anything that she can at least be there, even if she’s too pregnant to be in the wedding (she would make that call based on her comfort, not me)…so we’ll see!
Post # 12
Honestly, you can’t expect anyone to put life plans on hold for one day. Just play it by ear and it will work out. 🙂 One of my BMs is actually TTC right now and we’ve already discussed any backup plans with her gown, etc.
Post # 13
Unless she is actively in labour at your wedding I can’t see any problem with a pregnant Bridesmaid or Best Man.
Post # 14
@Alli259: From someone who has recently found out she was pregnant, albeit after a very short time of TTC, I just thought I’d mention that TTC is a very private process. When we first decided to TTC, the only person I told was my sister; I didn’t want anyone else to know because if it takes a while, you don’t want people constantly asking you or pitying you for it not happening right away. So with all that, I don’t think you should feel put out that they haven’t mentioned it to you and your FH.
And back to your original point, yes, by all means ask her to be in the wedding! Unless your wedding is pretty much on her due date, chances are she will be fine to attend/participate. If she gets pregnant in the next few weeks and doesn’t think she’ll be up for it, it will be her place to let you know that she no longer feels as though she can take on the responsibility. If she is pregnant and at the last minute can’t be there for your wedding, it’s not the worst thing in the world to have uneven sides for the bridal party. Don’t worry about it.
Post # 16
I can totally relate. I struggled with this too, one of my best friends just had her first baby, my sister is going to give birth any day now, 1 of my bridesmaids is TTC and my Maid/Matron of Honor is going to start trying 6 months before our wedding…. So 2 babies, and maybe 2 possibly pregnant bridesmaids. I think the babies will be more of a problem this year leading up to the wedding, not so much AT the wedding. But I came to a few conclusions on my own about this… My Maid/Matron of Honor is going to start TTC about 6 months before our wedding, and she may or may not be preg at our wedding, but I am thrilled for her nonetheless and wouldn’t dream of not having her be my Maid/Matron of Honor just because she might be pregnant. It can happen immediately or it could take years… my Future Sister-In-Law has been trying for over a year, and I would be thrilled for her to be pregnant, even if it meant her going into labor at our wedding (ok maybe not thrilled about that… but you know!) My sister (who I chose to not have as my Maid/Matron of Honor because she will have a newborn and lives 5+hours away) and my best friend both have little lives that depend on them, and that takes precedence over my wedding. I’m ok with that, because I still want them beside me through this journey.
Every situation is different. I would talk to her (once she has told you or your FH herself!) and be honest with each other, and it will all work out!