(Closed) Pregnant bridesmaids

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do
    Just hope for the best and have uneven numbers in the bridal party if they can't come. : (26 votes)
    84 %
    Have back-ups ready in to replace them in case they can't make it. : (2 votes)
    6 %
    Plan on them not being there and ask two different girls : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Other option I haven't thought of.. please share : (2 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would be insulted if someone asked me to be a “back up” bridesmaid.

    Just hope that they’re able to make it.  If not, let the numbers be uneven and deal with it from there.  BUT at this point, I would plan on them not being there (just don’t substitute or kick people out).

    Post # 5
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think you should talk to each girl individually and give them an opportunity to gracefully step down. Tell them you’re happy to for their good news and even though you want them to be in the wedding, you understand if they don’t want the added responsibility of being your Bridesmaid or Best Man. If they decide to stay in the wedding, I think you should just hope for the best. Setting up a backup Bridesmaid or Best Man strikes me as rude to the backup. I know I wouldn’t feel very good if one of my friends asked me to be a backup Bridesmaid or Best Man.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5955 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    The concept of a “backup bridesmaid” sounds a little bit too much like they are window dressing, there to fill a spot (not suggesting that you see it this way, just that it might be percieved this way).  I’d just hope for the best.  Having 5 vs 7 wont look weird since you’ve got such a big party.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    3718 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Talk to them! Be happy for their babies– it is huge for them. Then ask what their thoughts are about the wedding. If they go a week early or a week late, and live locally, they could probably be in the wedding. Tell them that you want them there, with their newborns or big bellies in tow, but you don’t want to stress them out. If they want out, you will understand, but you hope they can stay. Say that it can be a last minute decision to come or stay behind and they can sit after walking down the aisle. Then hope for the best!

    Post # 9
    Member
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @WillowTreeWade:  I don’t think so.  Because I don’t think that they would admit to you that they would be insulted.  You’re the Bride.  No one is going to say “no” or admit to “my feelings are hurt” when it comes to something like this.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7901 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    I’m going to assume both these women are local to the wedding, because you cannot travel more than about 30min to an hour from your hospital in the month before delivery.

    Now, I am currently 38weeks and 2 days pregnant, and this would be a really impossible time to be involved in a wedding. I could consider going to a local wedding, but to actually be in one within a two or three weeks of the due date. I’m dilating and effacing. I could go into labor at any moment. Standing for a while is really, really hard even though I’m hardly swollen. My legs sometimes feel like they are about to pop out of the socket. I can’t walk right.

    I was in a wedding a month ago… that wasn’t too bad… not ideal, but I could handle it. Right now… I can hardly make it through a 30 minute tv show without needing to pee. I cannot imagine trying to be part of a wedding another week from now. I might have thought a few months ago it would be no bit deal, but I definitely know better now.

    If these women are honestly due that close to your wedding, they should probably back out, but that does need to be their choice. You should provide them an opportunity to gracefully make that decision.

    If they decide to stay in, I would not have a backup plan. If one of them can’t be there, then you have an uneven number in the wedding party… no big deal.

    Post # 11
    Member
    478 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @WillowTreeWade: I would talk to them about it and ask if they would still like to be a bridesmaid.  Explain that you are concerned that they will not be available and see what they say.  One of my bridesmaids graciously backed down (she was so worried that I would be mad but I totally understood) as she has been deployed overseas until 5/3/13.  My wedding is 5/4/13.  There is like a 13% chance that she will be there and she didn’t to leave me hanging if she can’t be there.  I told her that even if she couldn’t tell me ahead of time there would be a seat for her at the guest table no matter what.  🙂 She was happy with that.  I know yours is a completely different situation but I would still talk to them.  I’m sure you will figure something out.  I originally was thinking I would have 4 BMs and 3 Groomsmen if she was able to make it and if she couldn’t I would have 3 of each but then she stepped down. If one or both decide to stay in I would ask one other girl to be a BM then you will either have 1 extra Bridesmaid or Best Man, an even amount or 1 less Bridesmaid or Best Man.  🙂  thats just my opinion. 

    @msfahrenheit:  &  @Pollywog: I pretty much feel the same way.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    7901 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    @WillowTreeWade:  If this all means your sister cannot make it (let alone be in the wedding… cuz honestly that’s a very real possibility) would you consider talking to your venue and vendors and moving your wedding to late September? You are so far out that this is really quite possible.

    Also, however unsettling this is to consider, if these women are due the last week of August, they are both still in the MC danger zone… you might want to wait until they are in the second trimester and it’s much more likely that the pregnancies will go through to delivery.

    The topic ‘Pregnant bridesmaids’ is closed to new replies.

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