(Closed) Pregnant, can't sleep DH is upset I'm keeping him up.. help!

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with separate bedrooms. I don’t understand the theory that ”married couples have to sleep together otherwise they’re obviously not happy”. My husband and I have slept separately almost from day one.. he snorts, snores, grumbles and sprawls out, I need absolute silence to sleep and I also get up to pee a lot. When I was pregnant it was just like you describe, so I can’t imagine if I was trying to force myself to sleep next to my husband. I love my husband very much and we get plenty of time for cuddles and sex, but not when we’re both asleep. Now I sleep in the same room as the baby and DH sleeps in our bedroom. It works perfectly.. we both get enough sleep and if the baby has a bad night then DH is rested and can take him in the morning while I have a lie in.

I think separate bedrooms is your answer. In our case separate bedrooms = happy marriage.

Same bedroom would be misery and arguments.

Post # 47
1549 posts
Bumble bee

Sleep in another room!! Oh god, it got so bad for me at the end! I couldn’t find a pregnancy pillow I liked so I used four regular pillows (plus on for my head). Took up more than half the bed.

Have the conversation now. I actually like cuddling to sleep, and continued through pregnancy, but now that we have the baby I can’t stand it. I feel so touched out from having a tiny human attached to me all day, that I just want personal space. So it may just get worse for you! And there’s obviously the sleep disruptions that come from having a baby.

Post # 48
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Yeah, your husband needs to be reminded that he has zero idea how pregnancy affects you and that as much as it bothers him, you have it way worse. My husband also needed this reminder in the beginning before my pregnancy felt “real” to him. Tell him to deal or sleep elsewhere. 

As far as pillows, I LOVE my U shaped Leachco.  I turn over a lot and like that I don’t have to readjust a C shaped pillow. Worth every penny. 

Post # 49
531 posts
Busy bee

Oh I feel for you! ive been the worst sleeper through my whole pregnancy. Snoring, tossing and turning and now I’m full term I apparently whimper and cry in my sleep! Every time I move I feel like I’m being kicked in the pelvis and it’s unbearable! my Fiance is such a light sleeper and doesn’t cope well without sleep but his priority is always making sure I’m ok, and he’s not the OTT caring/affectionate type. 

I’d have a serious chat with your hubby and explain things are likely to get worse for you in terms of sleep and you need to come to an agreement. if you’re anything like me, as your pregnancy progresses you’re going to feel pretty needy and ive really craved understanding and empathy on things that wouldn’t have phased me in the past. Basically, I feel like if this is an issue for you at 12 weeks – by the third trimester this is likely to escalate in to more than just a disagreement so it’s better to address it now and figure out what works for you both.

And I second the pregnancy pillow – get a big, fluffy, firm one. It saved my sleep for a good few weeks mid pregnancy and allows you to get into more comfy positions! 


Good luck

Post # 50
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

View original reply
LavenderMama89:  I also “didn’t want to be that couple” but some nights, when FI’s snoring becomes absolutely beyond all tolerance, I sleep in the spare room. It’s either that or commit homicide because I have misophonia and become extremely enraged by certain noises. I’d be pushing him over, prodding him in the leg, chucking a pillow at him and he would STILL snore all night. Then I’d go to work on four hours’ sleep and come home absolutely murderous. I wear earplugs at night now but if he’s sick or really snorey I just have to move. It’s better for us in the long run and it probably would be for you as well.

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