Post # 1
Ok, just curious what others might do in my situation.
My co-worker is about 4 months pregnant and is understandably very excited about it. I am genuinely happy for her. But I am getting a little annoyed with her attention seeking behavior…
- She will eat something, feel a little queasy and make it point to tell me about it and mention “because she is pregnant”
- While drinking a very large cup of coffee, she said, caffeine makes me so jittery these days “because she is pregnant”
- We were moving office furniture around today and it was mostly our facilities guys moving things, with staff directing. No one asked her to move anything, but she loudly announced, “sorry everyone, I won’t be of any use because I am pregnant, I hope you can manage without me.” We all just awkwardly looked at her.
- We had a staff lunch two weeks ago and over the course of 15 minutes, she mentioned at least 5 times (to the same people) that she is pregnant. It was like, “I should be eating more salad so the baby gets lots of veggies” “This seat is so uncomfortable now that I am pregnant” “My taste buds have changed since I became pregnant.”
Look, I get it, pregnancy is an exciting time and filled with change. But there is still 5 months left and I hear comments almost daily about her pregnancy.
I get the excitement, but is it normal to flip mundane conversations into comments about pregnancy?
Would it be rude to nicely ask her to maybe tone it down a bit?
Post # 2
annonbee857 : Ha! Yeah, being pregnant (especially for the first time) is pretty crazy and you are very aware that you are, in fact, pregnant. Some people, like your co-worker, are super obnoxious about it and everything becomes about pregnancy. This is definitely NOT how all pregnant people are, luckily. Unfortunately I don’t think there is anyway for you to shut this down without coming off as rude and mean. You could try teasing her and saying, “wait, you’re PREGNANT!?!? I totally forgot!” and smiling which would probably get your point across but still might come off as mean…..I think I would just silently roll my eyes and try to tune her out as best I could.
Post # 3
She is excited and perhaps overdoing it. You, on the other hand, might be a bit extra sensitive given that this thread is on the TTC Board (I haven’t read your other threads to know your personal position).
I know when I was both TTC and pregnant, I was hyper aware of anything to do with pregnancy.
Try to cut her some slack.
Post # 4
Yeah…it does seem like when you’re pregnant for the first time everything revolves around the pregnancy: what you can and can’t eat, what you should/shouldn’t eat, what you can/can’t/should/shouldn’t do, what sleep position you can/can’t/should/shouldn’t favor, what you can/can’t/should/shouldn’t put in/on your body, what could happen, the ‘fun’ (read: awful and amusing) parts of being pregnant, how your body changes…the list goes on.
So in your shoes I’d just tune her out and roll my eyes in private.
Post # 5
Honestly, I’d shrug it off and leave it alone. Keep shifting the conversation to something else. Her body is going through a lot of changes it sounds like she’s expressing observations. Annoying in excess? Sure. However, some people overly share and some don’t. I personally am more private and don’t like a lot of fussing on me…so I wouldn’t imagine being like that but who knows (never been pregnant). She may be more open and it’s probably the main thing on her mind…I wouldn’t straight up assume she’s just attention seeking. She may be having nerves or stressed that feel released when she talks about it (the remark on eating better).
Also, for the furniture, I know I would feel really awkward standing there seeing everyone else move furniture and possibly be paranoid secretly that people might be annoyed with me for not assisting. So, she may have just been trying to be polite and apologize for not being able to assist. I’d try to be a little more understanding in that specific scenario.
Post # 6
“I am really happy about your developing nugget but can you not mention it so much?”
Yeah, you will look like an unsympathetic jerk next to an annoying mom-to-be. Best for you to keep it to yourself.
Post # 7
unfortunately, as pps have said.. there isn’t much for it. you can’t say anything without being the jerk.
may I recommend listening to white noise to drown out office chatter? YouTube has many nice rain sounds videos.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017
annonbee857 : Ugh I’m sorry, she is going way overboard. I didn’t want to be ‘the pregnant one’ when I was still working and it barely came up. I hate these attention seeking people. Good news is it won’t last forever, I’d probably just giggle about her behind her back but I wouldn’t risk saying anything and being ‘the bad one’. Sorry 🙁
Post # 9
annonbee857 : This sounds extremely annoying. I’ve got a co-worker who does a similar thing regarding her weight loss – EVERY conversation with her is about what she did at the gym, how many days per week she exercises, how many calories she burns on yard duty, etc. Then whenever we have a staff morning tea she makes a big show of eating 2 dry biscuits and basically fat-shames the rest of us if we go for a cake or party pie. It is phenomenally irritating but there’s really not much you can do except tune it out, have a sneaky eye roll behind her back, or avoid her.
Post # 10
She seems very annoying but I would just just and shrug it off and let it wash over me. There is no good way to ask her to stop without you coming off like a total cow.
Post # 11
Very annoying, but also kind of endearing. Let her enjoy it. Humour her if you can!
Post # 12
I think I was the same 🙁 I was so overwhelmed and everything reminded me that I was pregnant, and I think I went on and on and on about it and probably drove everyone nuts. I didn’t even realize i was doing it… it’s just kind of obvious looking back. If at all possible just try to ignore her.. or keep changing the subject and maybe she’ll clue in.
Post # 13
annonbee857 : I had 2 coworkers who have done this. They constantly found any little way to insert a comment that they were pregnant into a conversation. With my first coworker last year it used to annoy me so bad, but I was always nice. Now that I will be TTC soon and I have another coworker doing the same thing, I understand that she is probably just really excited. I always make sure to ask her how she is feeling and what not, it usually makes her really happy and has stopped her obsessive comments about being pregnant.
Post # 14
Google Pregnant Women Are Smug by Garfunkel and Oates and have a good laugh
Other than that there’s not much else you can do but tolerate the obnoxiousness
Post # 15
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
I’m pregnant too. At my work I don’t MENTION my pregnancy much, but evert time I leave my seat I walk around rubbing my belly…and I am prone to saying “sorry, pregnancy brain” when I say something dumb or whatever…..so maybe only once or twice a day. Also, when I got my ultrasound photos I offered to show them to people.
Nothing too crazy.
Way back when I got engaged and was planning my wedding however….I was pretty obnoxious! I even had a poster up that said “Keep Calm, you’re getting married in September.” I could FEEL my coworkers rolling their eyes on the inside, but I still couldn’t help myself!
My point is I bet she KNOWS everyone is cringing a little…but when you are that stoked about something it’s hard to stop spouting about it!
(Not that I’m not excited about my pregnancy, but where I worked when I was getting married was a larger clinic of mostly women…. Now I work in a very small clinic where it’s just me and my male boss)