(Closed) Pregnant for the wedding, or no? Already have kids? How do you feel about it?

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: So...?

    Not pregnant now, and won't be for the wedding (or not planning to!)

    Not pregnant now, but hopefully I will be for the wedding!

    Pregnant now, but won't be for wedding!

    Pregnant now, and will be for wedding!

    I had kids before the wedding!

    I didn't have kids before the wedding!

    Already married.... Was pregnant for my wedding!

    Already married... Wasn't pregnant for my wedding!


  • Post # 3
    641 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I have 2 children. It is what it is, I got pregnant with my son before I was married and there wasnt anything I could do about that.  I deffinately wasnt going to run to the alter because I was having a baby. 

    Both my children are with my Fiance, weve been together for 6 years.  Its like we are already married really, we just have been waiting until we could afford the wedding we wanted.

    Post # 4
    8683 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    No kids here but my family is VERY traditional so I would never hear the end of it if I were to be pregnant first. My Fiance is also very much against it. 

    Post # 5
    1156 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @yanamari:  I have kids, my youngest is 17.  Neither I nor my fianace’ is bothered by it.  I will be having my daughter as my Maid/Matron of Honor.  I think it is a personal choice, and it is not taboo or anything to have children or be pregnant on your wedding day.

    Post # 6
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014 - Ceremony: St Patrick\'s Basilica Reception: Southern Cross Ballroom, Esplanade Hotel Fremantle

    We had our first before the wedding :), she’s 15 months old now. It doesn’t bother us at all as we were going to get married anyway, but our little girl surprised us earlier. We have decided not to have a sibling for her until after the wedding though ^^, and at least we have our flower girl now as she will be almost 3 by our wedding date <3.

    Post # 7
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We had our son on May 23rd 2011, and we are getting married on September 28th 2013. I am sooooo excited that my son is going to be at the wedding!!! He is going to be our ring bearer and he is going to sit with us throughout dinner and the cake cutting and everything.  I am so happy I get to share one of the best days of my life (the other best day was when he was born) with my favorite person in the world!

    Post # 8
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t have a problem with pregnant brides, but I personally believe that having a child with someone is a much bigger committment than marriage. As a result, I find TTC for the wedding to be tough to understand (unless the bride is older or will have fertility problems), but since most people don’t plan to be pregnant for a wedding, I usually assume the pregnancy wasn’t unplanned.

    Then again, my opinions mean nothing if this works for the family. I don’t want to be a pregnant bride when the time comes, though.

    Post # 9
    1073 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would not want to be pregnant on my wedding day! I feel as though there’s some much stress  that comes along with it, and I would not want to put my baby at risk! Also, I would like to enjoy myself (have a few drinks, dance all night) without having to worry about being pregnant. However, after the wedding we may start thinking about having a family.

    Post # 10
    1404 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @yanamari:  I’ll be just over 17 weeks pregnant on our wedding day, which is on February 14 Valentine’s Day this year. We decided to get married earlier than we would’ve if we weren’t pregnant, only 3 months from engagement to wedding, but are both excited that our baby will be a special part of our day.

    Post # 11
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I will be 16 weeks at my wedding (God-willing). We started charting before the wedding and conceived in December. We thought it would take many months. There is a possibility we could move overseas for an uncertain amount of time in December (hope not) and we wanted to make sure our child was born in the USA. It doesn’t bother me or any of my family members, or his side that we be pregnant. We probably won’t even announce until right before or right after the wedding. We are only “out” to parents and siblings due to a previous mc and wanting the support if something were to happen. Luckily I have a huge rib cage and had to order my Maggie gown 2 sizes up, so it will work without alterations.

    Post # 12
    6739 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We are common law married, but not really telling our friends and family because we don’t want them to freak lol or to diminish the value of our wedding in 2014.  However, we’re not planning on havings kids until 2014-2015.  I would like to conceive on our wedding/mini moon.  Fiance said last night that he hopes I’m pregnant and that I announce it at the wedding.  lol.. I’m like uhm, NOthx.

    Post # 13
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    We are the only ones getting married before having kids in our family. I think having kids first is more common in my country. My oldes brother has two kids, and has been with his SO for 23 years without marriage.

    Post # 14
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    @Cookie86:  I forgot to mention that in my post. I live in the United States, where generally the middle and upper classes get married. As a result, I typically view children born to unmarried parents to be a characteristic of the lower classes.

    It’s very different in Europe, though; since there is more socio-economic equality in the Netherlands than in the United States, a Dutch child born to unmarried parents will have the same life outcomes as a Dutch baby born to married parents. In the States, a baby with unmarried parents will statisitcally have a poorer start on life than a baby with married parents. In fact, there are countries where over 50% of children are born to unmarried parents (Estonia and Iceland come to mind), and it’s a non-issue.

    That last paragraph is very general, though. Look up the “marriage gap” in the United States – it’s pretty interesting stuff. 🙂

    Post # 15
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’m going to be six months at my wedding.  I’m not too concerned.  We weren’t TTC, but it happened and it’ll be okay.  Sections of my family are super religious (like everyone’s a preacher religious) and I’m not sure how they feel about it.  But how they feel doesn’t really matter – it’s about how we feel, and we’re okay 🙂  

    I just hope I feel okay the day of the wedding.  I’m hoping not to be that lucky 2% of women who experience morning sickness the entire 10 months 😡 haha.  

    Someone earlier mentioned stress, but I think your wedding day is only as stressful as you make it.  Our wedding is going to be very casual, about 80 people.  We’re getting married outside on the lake and I’m sort of at that point where as long as I marry my fiance and people are fed, I’m a-okay.  We’re super low budget and the most stressful part of this wedding is probably going to be the fact that a couple family members and I are going to be cooking all the food for the reception.  We’re going to have mostly picnic types food, though, so nothing too extravagant.  Hamburgers and sandwiches, BBQ, etc.  So I suppose you could say I don’t have very high expectations (and isn’t that the key to happiness in everything? lol).

    Our honeymoon is also going to be low key – we live in Pennsylvania and Lancaster is only about two hours away at the most.  So we’re going to travel through there and Bird-in-Hand, etc, stay in a B&B and go on covered bridge tours, picnics, wine tasting, stop at farm stands and farmer’s markets, and carriage rides in Amish country.  Very relaxing stuff 🙂

    Post # 16
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We had Dear Daughter1 in May 2010, bought our house Dec 2010, engaged Sept 2011, and our wedding was August 2012. We decided to NTNT in January 2012, and got pregnant March 2012 so I was 5 months pregnant at the wedding! 

    DH and I both could not care less about children out of wedlock or whatever, and our families couldn’t either. Our wedding was big, and it was beautiful, the ceremony was very significant, and although being married for real isn’t much different, we’re so happy to be husband and wife. 

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