Post # 1
I’m hoping for some guidance with a little something I am dealing with.
I just found out my Maid/Matron of Honor is 3 months pregnant, yay for her!, so that means she will be 8 months along on our wedding date.
Has anyone had experience with a pregnant BM? I am just worried that she won’t be able to attend my shower, bachelorette and then the day of she will be super tired and unable to stand or walk for pictures. She lives 2 hours away as well thus adding to my fear about her being able to attend things.
I am just asking if anyone has had a pregnant Maid/Matron of Honor, were they still as attentive and helpful as you hoped for?
Then my future SIL also pointed out that in pictures no will even notice me, they will all look at her belly and be like…she looks so cute….
I most def. still want her to be in the party, but I am not sure if she will be up for Maid/Matron of Honor duties.
Any help definitely appreciated.
Post # 3
I’d start with just talking to her. See how she feels, and make sure she is supported and has enough help with any pre-wedding events she may be offering to host for you. You could also have a female relative or another Bridesmaid or Best Man host the parties, if they offer.
Don’t ask her to step down, but instead just let it be up to her. If she can’t make it to the wedding, leave the spot open and list her in the program as Maid/Matron of Honor in absentia. If she’s able to make it, then that’s lovely!
Also, my cousin was pregnant & a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my wedding (not 8 months along, though!) and I offered to let her walk down the aisle last so that as I walked out she could just grab a seat in the front row since noboy would be looking at her at that moment. She would have been able to sit through the ceremony then stand back up again as we began the recessional and I doubt anyone would have noticed.
Post # 4
Your Future Sister-In-Law sounds like a B. Who says that to a bride?!? You will be fine. Let her take it easy. Don’t put too much stress on her. My Maid/Matron of Honor did NOTHING for me, and my wedding was still lovely. Good luck!
Post # 5
I agree with talking to her. My SIL was a Bridesmaid or Best Man and was due about 2 weeks before hte wedding, and gave birth 4 days before the wedding. She was still in the wedding. She sat down upfront during the ceremony for a little, and her & BIL were semi-participating in the reception (they ate and all that, just didn’t dance as they were still working on feeding and such). It was not an issue, no one said anything, and I didn’t even notice. As long as she’s comfortable being there and being part of it, and you’re happy with her deicsion, that’s all that really matters. I know it won’t stop you from freaking out at times, but it will all work out.
Post # 6
My Maid/Matron of Honor was 8 months pregnant for my wedding and she was awesome! She not only went to all my showers, but she hosted one of them too. She was a big help at the bachelorette party since she was the sober one and could gather everyone together and organize it all. Honestly, I think your future SIL is a fool to say she is going to take any of the spotlight away from you. Nothing will take the focus off of you…its YOUR wedding and you are the BRIDE! Nothing beats that. If she is your Maid/Matron of Honor then I am assuming she is one of your best friends, so talk to her if you’re worried about anything, and figure out the logistics with her. But from my personal experiece having a 8 month Maid/Matron of Honor is no different than a normal Maid/Matron of Honor except they can’t drink and they have a big belly!
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
My Maid/Matron of Honor is also pregnant and will be about as far along as yours on the wedding day. She was worried that I would be upset over it, but that was not the case at all. This is going to be her second child and she hasn’t mentioned any reservations about attending/helping in wedding festivities (then again, I’m not having a bridal shower and the bachelorette will be low-key). I would just talk with your Maid/Matron of Honor so you guys can iron out expectations. What’s the worst thing that could happen if she is unable to take part in some parts of the wedding? You are still going to end the day married to your love. Your Future Sister-In-Law sounds like she likes to stir up drama. You are definitely not going to be upstaged by your Maid/Matron of Honor…everyone is there to see you and your love get married.
Post # 8
@skippygurl: I’m pregnant myself, and if I lived only 2 hours from a wedding, I would definitely go, even if I weren’t a bridesmaid. I even have fairly extreme morning sickness, and I still manage to go to work every day (albeit usually with a barf bag with me constantly, like a security blanket), so I’m sure she’ll be able to attend showers and other pre-activities. One of my best girl friends was pregnant when I had my bachlorette weekend away, and she still came (just didn’t drink with us). We had a blast.
One of my good friends is getting married 1 month before my due date, 5 states from where I live, and I’m still going to ask my doctor if I can fly there for the weekend. They’ll probably say no…..but, I’m going to ask, because I’d love to be there for her!
Post # 9
in this picture, there are two pregnant bridesmaids. One is 4 months and One is 8 months. Can you even pick them out? Do you think they detract from me, the bride, you know, the one in the big, white dress?
I think you should leave it up to your Maid/Matron of Honor as to whether or not she’s comfortable with it. My 8months pregnant bridesmaid said she wouldn’t miss it for the world. She was fine for pictures and while tired at the end of the night, who isn’t?
Post # 10
Tell your Future Sister-In-Law to shut up, that’s step 1.
I am sure that your Maid/Matron of Honor wants to support you on your wedding day more than ever! Being pregnant isn’t a disability, but at 8 months a pregnant woman will need to rest and sit to take care of herself and I’m sure she will appreciate your compassion.
Also, I went to two bachelorette parties while pregnant (3 months and 5 months)…yup, I wished I was drinking with everyone but I still had an awesome time and wouldn’t have missed those parties based solely on the fact that I was pregnant.
Post # 11
I have 4 bridesmaids and one of them is currently pregnant. Unfortunately for me, it’s the whiniest one (LOL kinda kidding) but she’s still planning on attending my bachelorette weekend and helping throw my shower and such. She’s a little weird about the dress, just because she wants to wear the same one as the other girls and is a little sad. But we decided on a very complimentary dress in an empire waist for her. She’ll be 8 months, otherwise, I would think the other dress might still be an option.
Post # 12
@skippygurl: ask her what she wants to do. If she wants to remain in you should allow her to and her only real duty is showing up on the day of to stand up with you, which she should be fine to do if her pregnancy is going well.
I think worrying about no one looking at you in pictures is absolutely ridiculous and should not be a main concern. The only people who look at wedding pictures are you and your family. No one cares about your wedding 3 months later when you get the pictures back, no offense.
Post # 13
I am a pregnant Maid/Matron of Honor. I will have the baby one month before the wedding. I am currently planning the shower and bachelorette parties and will be hosting/attending both. Yes, pregnant ladies sometimes have more needs and complications can arise, but it is unlikely to mean she can’t be a good Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 14
My Sister/MOH will find out if she is pregnant this month, which would make her 9 months pregnant at my wedding!! This scares me, but as long as her water doesn’t break at my wedding I think it will be ok. She knows how much everything means to me so I know she will always be there.
Post # 15
Sounds like your Future Sister-In-Law doesn’t know many pregnant ladies– at 8 months pregnant (as I am today!) most people are not saying, “oh how cute that belly is”, but rather… man that looks uncomfortable! And while I am a bit uncomfortable, certainly that wouldn’t stop me from being a Maid/Matron of Honor : )
Post # 16
Thanks guys, I knew you would make me feel better about my decision to keep her!
I just realized too that she wouldn’t be trying if she thought she couldn’t be there for me on the day!
@aemalmostk Funny thing is she just had a baby 15 months ago, she kept bringing up how…at 8 months how crappy she felt..but not everyone is like that I’m sure! I didn’t even think of how people would see it completely different if she is that big!
I will still talk to her just to make sure we are on the same page, but I know she won’t let me down