Pregnant MOH

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Who’s being selfish?
    Bride : (164 votes)
    96 %
    MOH : (6 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    237 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t think that youre being a super bridezilla. If I were in your shoes I would also be frustrated if my Maid/Matron of Honor was planning on being very pregnant at my wedding, I would be worried she would go into labor and miss it, as you said. I don’t think its terribly a lot to ask for her to put off TTC by another two months or so, after all, she did agree to be your maid of honor which is a pretty big role in your wedding with lots of responsibilty. I would politely bring up that her TTC timeline would make her possibly very pregnant at your wedding, perhaps it just hasnt occurred to her yet? And if she doesnt want to push her timeline by a little bit, maybe you could have one of your other bridesmaids on as a standby maid of honor, in case your original maid of honor cant perform her duties, you could have a backup. I hope everything works out for you OP! 

    Post # 3
    Member
    8031 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

     I don’t think you are  being   bridezilla exactly  and I can see you mean her only the best  but TTC so trumps being  in someone  else’s  wedding!

    I do not think you should ask her to put off TTC, it not  only might be friendship ending thing, but also it may not even be an issue , babies don’t come to order after all.  So why not just wait and see .? It might be sensible to lay the groundwork however , that if  she is near term , you wouldn;t  want the responsibilty and you are fully prepared for her to pull out and that bridesmiad  x is willing to step in .

    Post # 4
    Member
    589 posts
    Busy bee

    Totally understand the dissapointment, but it would be out of line to ask someone to not have their child close to your wedding. I feel saddened that my sister will be pregnant for my wedding and she is my Maid/Matron of Honor. However we cannot control these things unfortunately. Maybe talk to her about whether she can be your bridesmaid for your wedding if she is heavily pregnant. It might be worth having that serious discussion to maybe have her be a guest instead. You do have the right to want your wedding to look the way you want with even bridal party numbers, matching clothes and able bodied so the day is about you and not about the pregnant lady. 🙂

    Hope this came off right! haha

    Post # 5
    Member
    47148 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Every time there is one of these posts, I am amazed that anyone would expect someone to live their life by someone else’s clock.

    Your wedding will go ahead, whether she is pregnant or not, on bedrest or not, with a newborn or not, breastfeeding or not, or whether you have a maid of honor or not.

    Be happy for her There is enough love in the world for everyone, including a possible new baby and you and your wedding.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2907 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    I think you are being ridiculous. You can’t expect her to put off TTC for your wedding. If this is the most convenient time for them to TTC it’s absolutely none of your business or your concern. Sorry, but you are definitely being a bridezilla. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee

    You’re being a bridezilla. Like hugely so. You don’t want her to start trying for a child because you don’t want her to be first and you don’t want her to take attention off of you? That is supremely selfish of you. Being pregnant is a much more time sensitive issue based on whatever is going on in this woman’s life than a wedding. So if this is the right time for her to start trying for a child, then your wedding is no where near important enough for her to push this off.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3302 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    You’ve entered bridezilla territory. Be disappointed, that’s fine, but your wedding is only the most important thing in YOUR world. Asking someone to put their life plans on hold for your wedding is supremely selfish. She’s planning for her family and it’s up to her and her partner when it’s time to start that process, and your wedding should not be a factor in that timeline. Be disappointed, but keep it to yourself or share those feelings here. Do not try to guilt or manipulate her out of starting her family whenever she wants to.

    Post # 9
    Member
    11620 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    You’re being a bridezilla, particularly with the talk about thunder stealing. Frankly, with all of it. You have no idea what concerns your cousin may have about fertility, or timelines and regardless, she should not have to rearrange her life for the small risk that something will happen to prevent her from attending. 

    Sorry to be blunt, but get over it. Chances are she’ll be there. If worse comes to worst, you’ll miss her. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    311 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    You sort of had me until the talk of stealing thunder and colliding showers.  

    Definite Bridezilla territory.  

    And on top of everything no one even knows how long TTC could take for them.  Be happy she felt comfortable enough to give you the heads up there could be a chance.   

    Post # 11
    Member
    4994 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I’m yet to see a post from someone claiming they aren’t being a bridezilla who actually isn’t being a bridezilla. 

    Yes you’re being a bridezilla.

    Yes you’re being selfish.

    Yes you’re being unreasonable.

    Yes you need to get over it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    8999 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    hmoore :  Ok let’s flip this. How would you feel if when you got engaged your friend said “hey can you not plan your wedding from x date to y date because we are trying to have a baby and don’t want your wedding to interfere with that. Oh and also so you don’t steal our thunder” ?

    I’m sure you would be fine with that right? It wouldn’t be selfiah of her right?

    Post # 13
    Member
    1051 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Yes, you are being selfish. And she’s “just” going to TTC, not even pregnant yet, you are jealous of a non existent baby.

    You plan your life, let other people plan theirs.

    Post # 14
    Member
    83 posts
    Worker bee

    One of my friends was considering asking her pregnant Maid/Matron of Honor to ask her doctor to induce her early so she could attend the wedding. That’s a whole other level of selfish. She ended up having the baby a week or so before the wedding and didn’t attend. Everyone survived! 

    I think my friend was a bridezilla and I think you’re being one too. I get it, it’s hard to not let everything revolve around the wedding but your friends are free to make choices regardless of the wedding timeline. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1148 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

    I love that you said you’re not being a bridezilla. Pro tip- if you have to say you’re not. You are.

     

    and you are.

     

    ”sorry no having sex, it’s too inconsiderate near MY DAY” 

     

    no.

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