Pregnant – Not sure how to feel

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
610 posts
Busy bee

If I was in your situation here’s what I’d do:

Give myself a few days to work out whether I wanted the baby with the possibility of doing it alone. Don’t tell the father in this time to ensure clear thoughts

THEN

Tell the father if you plan to keep the baby regardless of his input

OR 

If I decided not to keep the baby I wouldnt tell the father and I’d confide in a close friend or family member to help me through the emotional effects of a termination.

I don’t envy the position you are in and I feel for you. Hope it all goes the way you want it to.

Post # 32
Member
3189 posts
Sugar bee

It’s totally up to you on what you should do. 

If it were me in your situation, I would tell the father immediately. Again, that’s just me. I’m currently pregnant. I called my OBGYN’s office around 4-5 weeks and they didn’t schedule my first appointment until after I was 8 weeks. Also, as a side note from someone who had not been previously pregnant, they don’t count from the date of conception, but two weeks before, essentially, so if you’re on a 28 day cycle, it’s the first day of your cycle. So essentially, although you’re two weeks late, you’re possibly six weeks pregnant. 

Post # 33
Member
9813 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you have a positive test, there isn’t anything a doctor is going to tell you that will change the situation.  Those tests are accurate, you’re pregnant.  I don’t think you need to tell him TODAY, you can certainly give yourself a few days to adjust and come to term with your feelings and what you want to do.  But definitely don’t let it linger more than a week or so without telling him or making the decision on what you want to do (I couldn’t tell if you already knew or not, sorry).

Post # 34
Member
11 posts
Newbee

Even if you lose the baby, you shouldn’t have to go through that alone!

Post # 35
Hostess
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

MeandYou :  This is exactly what I would do as well. 

OP, I do not think that you are obligated to tell the father right now.  I would first decide what you want to do and lean on a best friend or close family member for support. 

Post # 36
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Historic Chapel

anonon22 :  You definitely need to tell him right away! It’s probably going to be very hard but I rather not keep secret this big! Good luck bee

Post # 38
Hostess
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

anonon22 :  Good luck bee!  You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Post # 41
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

anonon22 :  I think you are doing the right thing. If you can raise the baby by yourself go for it. I wouldn’t worry about the friendship you have with him too much, it will obviously change, but you know what, it might change for the better.

If you’re super lucky it might end up in a Bridget Jones Baby senario…I know sounds imature but it could totally happen. 

Keep us posted please! I am curious to see his reaction

Post # 43
Member
1422 posts
Bumble bee

bridetobe2018 :  I actually don’t think she has to tell him right away. Probably before the first trimester is up (if she decides to keep it) so that he can get prepared too. But I think she should make her decision, do whatever doctor visits she wants on her own and take her time. I think she shouldn’t be thinking about what he wants with regard to the pregnancy and what appointments he wants to go until she decides what she wants. And if he doesn’t go to any or she terminates, or he knows only after viability (or some other milestone) then that’s fine.

I think it’s important for her to be very sure what she wants so that if he tries to pressure her either way, she can be more solid in her response because she’s not wavering.

Post # 44
Member
2491 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

All the bees have given all the good advice already so I just want to say good luck bee. I hope this situation turns out the best way possible. 

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