Pregnant – Not sure how to feel

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
11777 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

anonon22 :  you’re making really good decisions over really complex issues bee. You’re a good friend and person. 

Expect anything from him, he will be in shock so just wait to speak to him until you’re sure you will be okay no matter what he says. 

I say that because of your long term friendship and the sense that you value it a lot and want to protect it. 

Also if you have other feelings for him you might want to separate all of that in case he reacts poorly initially. 

Good luck bee!

Post # 47
Member
2088 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

anonon22 :  You’re doing the right thing. He might be really shocked, but like you said, you are, too. I think I thought is right to know. What he does with that knowledge is up to him. 

I think you need support now. Hopefully, he will support you. Is there someone else in your life you can share this with? 

Post # 49
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - Southampton, UK

anonon22 :  Hi. I had spotting in the early weeks of my pregnancy (I can’t remember which week now).  I was so scared that the doctor’s office agreed to take me in for an ultrasound, and the baby was fine, they could see the heartbeat. He’s 21 years old now.  I was told that spotting can be perfectly normal.  Please try not to worry too much. ♥

 

ETA: I’m glad you told him and that he took it well. I hope everything goes ok.

Post # 50
Member
2491 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

anonon22 :  I’m so glad you got the telling him part out of the way. I have never been pregnant but my mom had what seemed like a normal period during her pregnancy with my brother. She actually didn’t know she was pregnant until about 6 months! She kept having regular bleeding which she thought was her period. She all of a sudden got sick around 6 months and thought she had the flu so she went to the ER because she was vomiting profusely. They asked her if she was pregnant she said nope had a period and all. Well she was…She didn’t know and she thought there was no way after having her period. There’s sooo many things that can happen that seem wrong/right/common but it’s truly different for everyone and this spotting could be completely normal for you. 

Post # 51
Member
9608 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

anonon22 :  hey, so spotting in early pregnancy does happen, but it’s not a great sign.  MANY women have spotting and are FINE, I’m NOT saying spotting = miscarriage.  But a higher percent of women with spotting miscarry than those without.

Does the KP site say your hcg level?  One number alone doesn’t tell you *much* but it does tell you *something* (I say this having had a blood test yesterday that told me that I was pregnant but I was probably going to lose this pregnancy, and today I started spotting and expect my period tomorrow.. all from a single number, so yes, a single number can sometimes tell you a lot.)

Assumign this bleeding is nothing, you need to know a few things now that you’re pregnant and have every plan to keep this baby.  If you’re going to have a baby, I assume you want the healthiest baby possible.  

1. Obviously quit any alcohol, tobacco, or drugs.  

2. Cut down on caffeine–a cup a day is fine, but no more.

3. Don’t change cat litter.  Seems strange, but it’s actually an important one.  Gardening should be done with caution: use gloves (and a mask if it’s dusty) and wash your hands very well.  This is because cat poop might be in the garden.

4. Many pregnant women generally avoid sushi (though in some countries it’s actually recommended for pregnant women, so the jury’s out on this one).  Unpasteurized cheese is generally accepted as a no-no (due to lysteria concerns).  

5. Start taking a pre-natal pill with folic acid.  Also start taking a calcium supplement OR make sure you’re eating  a lot of dairy: babies suck up your calcium and can leave you with too little for yourself.

6. Find an OB and give them a call–tell them when your last period was and they’ll tell you when they’d like to see you.

Aside from that, just take care of yourself. 🙂  I’m glad that your friend is being a good friend and person about this: it sounds like you are a good friend and person, too.

Post # 52
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020 - New York, New York

Don’t worry about about the father’s new relationship! This exact situation happened with Giselle Bundchen, the model, and Tom Brady, the football player, when they were dating. Giselle considered breaking up with Tom, but you know what? She decided to stay with him, and now they’re married and have a family together. So his new girlfriend could accept the situation and still choose to be with him, and if she leaves him, that’s definitely not on you. That being said, this is a decision between you and the father, and the new girlfriend shouldn’t get any say on the decision the two of you make.

Post # 53
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

anonon22 :  I know your post is 3 days old…I hope you’re feeling better and that you are no longer spotting. I spotted when I first got pregnant and am now 38wks and no complcations. 

Def start taking prenatal vitamins like amanda1988 :  suggested. 

Hope all is good! Lots of hugs!!!

Post # 54
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee

this is not a comforting story for you but I went to doctor due to spotting. she told me to do a pregnancy test that came out positive. with further investigations turned out that I had a chemical pregnancy. the doctor said that they are extremely common and usually women don’t even know they ever were pregnant.

hope all is well with you but spotting can be nothing or it can be something. glad he reacted well and you told him.

Post # 55
Member
6403 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Any update, OP? 

Post # 56
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Hope everything is okay! You’re being so wise and mature…

Post # 57
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee

a lot of women have “fake periods” with spotting so they don’t realize they’re actually pregnant, they think it’s just s false alarm lol I was one of those babies

Post # 59
Member
9728 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

anonon22 :  You have to miss two periods? That’s insane! My OBGYN literally scheduled me for three weeks after my positive test for my first prenatal visit. That’s like almost your entire first trimester before seeing a doctor!

Do you have a Planned Parenthood where you are that you could go by? A regular OBGYN? Anything?

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