(Closed) pregnant possible bailing BM =(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you need to let her back out (or at least not have to get a dress or stand.) By the end of her pregnancy (my sister is due any day now) she’ll be REALLY uncomfortable. The discomfort will likely begin in her last month. She’ll likely have really swollen feet or ankles, a sore back, and could even be on bedrest by then.

Also, many first-time mom’s seem to either deliver early or late. If she does make it to your wedding at all, she’ll be ready to burst.

Perhaps to accomodate her and make sure she can come to events, you could have the bachelorette party and shower early (like 1-2 months out) so that she can participate while she’s still feeling ok?

Cheer up! She’ll still be there for the planning, showers, etc. AND when you get into your over-planning stage, you can switch gears and focus on her baby shower!


Post # 4
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Considering her due date is on your wedding there is a high likelihood she could either have her baby before your wedding and not be able to make it to the wedding or worse go into labour at your wedding. I don’t think its really feasible to have her in the wedding. I agree with PP that she can still be involved in all other planning and maybe she could be an honorary bridesmaid but she might not even be able to make the date. And you dont want to add stress to her.

Post # 5
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i’m excited and bummed for ya OP. Could you maybe have her in the wedding but not as a bm? Maybe a reader, someone that can easily be removed from the ceremony if she did indeed have to leave.


Post # 6
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yeah one of my bridesmaids is about to pop right now, and she can barely stand for more than five minutes and she’s not due for another three weeks.  There’s no way.  I would say just tell her she’s off the hook because from what my friend has told me there’s a lot of pressure when she’s standing up and it’s REALLY uncomfortable.  Plus a lot of people deliver early.  It’s best to let her step down.  You’re just asking for trouble if you don’t.

Post # 7
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It is one of those things that you can’t predict this many months in advance, unfortunately. I went 12 days overdue with both of my children, and I heard that many first babies are overdue. My daughter was born November 4, but on October 31st I took my son trick-or-treating for a couple hours and then went to a Halloween party with my Fiance. I think it totally depends on the person. If she is feeling fine, and not in labour, I don’t think there’s any reason she can’t make it to your wedding but it would totally be her call.

Post # 8
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I assume you have a venue booked and are unable to push your date forward or back to accomadate her? I only say that cuz obviously you really want her there. I don’t see it being possible for her to be in your wedding the week of her due date. She could easily give birth early (anything after 37 weeks is common) or seriously be ready to pop on your big day, or even go into labor. Also is your wedding local for her? She will need to be within an hour or so distance of her hospital and obgyn those last few weeks of pregnancy. Just some things to consider.

Post # 9
35 posts
  • Wedding: May 2015

I was in a wedding a few days before I was due with my daughter.  I was fine for the wedding, and reception.  I didn’t stay long for the dance and party plainly because I was tired.  The bride let me pick out my dress, ad I got it as big as they would allow for my size.  It wasn’t bad at all!  But I did go overdue and had fun at the wedding.  I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it!

Post # 10
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@AmandaY: I’m with you!  I have two children and had big events and stresses late in the pregnancies of both (one being the funeral of a close relative, how’s that for stress?). 

If she hasn’t had the baby by the wedding, she might WANT the oportunity to be distracted AND standing might help move things along! 

Pregnancy is NOT an emergency.  I stress NOT — I know there will be plenty of people giving outrageous stories to the contrary.  In fact, I had a dramatic second delivery — TWO HOURS TOTAL & I barely got to the hospital; NO doctor could make it in time!  Cases like my second’s birth are not the norm (and I still don’t consider her birth an emergency).  People give birth, literally, every day.  

Looking back, I wouldn’t have missed standing up for a close friend’s wedding even if I’d been told I’d deliver in an ambulence leaving the reception!

Stay supportive and when you have bridezilla moments, remember she’s a prega-saurus!  Neither of you are going to have your act 100% together, ya’ know?  Make a pact to be good to eachother and honor it.

Post # 12
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@Miss Wallaroo: My photog and my pastor’s wife are both due the month of my wedding.

Post # 13
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I ssay if you are comfortable with her going into labor during your wedidng or reception, and she is okay with it… just kep going the way things are:)  you are not there yet.  Obviously she is very important to you.  so just accomodate her…  ie…

she may be able to walk down the aisle (in flats of course) but set a chair up on stage for her to sit on thru the ceremony.

its so wonderul and refreshing you are not being bridezillay for this…


oh wait, just read that now you are thinking of a 2nd one… hrmm  maybe she could sit by and make sure everyone signs the guest book and hands out programs…  Or if she takes great pics, let her know you want her to be the back up photographer, since she knows you better than your potographer. 

jsut some thoughts:)


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