(Closed) Pregnant sister/BM — HELP!

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@hiroshymatetrastar:  LOL listen, you don’t have to justify your feelings! At least you shouldnt have to.  You could be 100% resentful of her pregnancy, I’m not judging you.

 

I’d be pretty irritated as well. Take being bummed out about attention and timing out of the equation and just focus on her behavior: no, her pregnancy/fishing plans do not trump pre-set appointments for dresses or anything else.  The world does not start to revolve around her just because she successfully had sex. 

 

To avoid a family fued, I wouldnt advise any sit-downs or “come-to-Jesus” meetings because family interventions rarely end well.  I would simply treat her like any other bridesmaid who had an attitude and blew off appointments.

Post # 5
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@hiroshymatetrastar:  That can always be an issue with siblings! It is so annoying! I would be so annoyed too! Pregnancy & wedding planning are both stressful and you both need EQUAL amounts of support. I am sure Easter everyone was just excited over the new, but I doubt it will wear off– people get baby crazy! I would just let her have her fits- if she is doing them with you, she will do them with everyone else- eventually people will see her for how she really is. 

Post # 7
Member
1547 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

well, dont pay attention to her. And maybe you should tell you mom (and sis A) that just because she’s pregnant she doesnt have the right to be a bitch.

Post # 8
Member
1547 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@hiroshymatetrastar:  awww, just dont pay attention to your sis that day and ejoy it with you FH. Your friends will pay more attention to you anyways (i know i would).

Post # 9
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@hiroshymatetrastar:  It will. You can’t let her ruin your day. Hey she will be all big and bloated. She wont be able to drink! Danciing will likely be uncomfy. You get to look gorgeous and party it up! It will totally be about you, after all it is your day. I always try to turn any resentment taht I have towards somone else into motivation.

Post # 11
Member
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@hiroshymatetrastar:  first of all, the day isn’t about YOU its about you and your Fiance and the start of your life together. Secondly, if one pregnant person is enough to make you feel like the day isn’t about you than I would say it seems to me that you have an unreasonable need to be the center of attention. You will be the center of attention, you are the bride! I kind of feel if you are “dreading” your wedding day because you wont get to be the center of the day because your sister is pregnant that you have lost sight of the main important and happy part of that day. Stop focusing so much on your sister and how much attention she gets from your family. Focus on the fact that they will not be the only guests at your wedding, and that you are marrying the love of your life.

As for your sisters reaction to the whole dress thing, I would shrug it off and let your mother know that her being pregnant may be enough of an excuse for her for your your sister to be a pain in the ass but for you its no excuse and dealing with her antics is gonna get old real fast.

Post # 14
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I get that your sister in general acts like a spoiled brat, and now has pregnancy as a built-in excuse for it. I get that you feel your parents have always favoured her. What I don’t really get is the need to be the center of attention at your wedding, and the resentment against anyone else for also receiving attention. To me, that’s not what a wedding is supposed to be about. It’s about family and friends coming together to celebrate your start in the next phase of your life. It’s not about having a white-hot spotlight shining on you and everyone fawning over you to the exclusion of anyone else. 

If in general you feel like your parents favour and make excuses for your sister, then address it with them. But don’t ruin your wedding for yourself by focusing on all the attention you might not be getting because she’s getting it. 

Post # 15
Member
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@hiroshymatetrastar:  if its that much of an issue than you need to just bring it up. Im a pretty blunt and honest person and I would just say “I understand your pregnant and all but your attitude stinks, im still your sister and I deserve to be treated kindly, not like some asshole that you can just walk all over.” in regards to her overshadowing you, you are the bride. no one will overshadow you or your Fiance on your wedding day. If you go into it looking for things that prove that she is going to overshadow you than you will find things. go into the day with blinders on and focus soley on the love you have with Fiance and the day you have to celebrate with your family. If people give in to her attempts at stealing the show, ignore them and continue on enjoying your big day. You don’t want to look back on your day and realize how much attention YOU gave her and the situation.

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