(Closed) Pregnant, wedding, house – all in the same year?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m in a somewhat similar situation – American living overseas and I just turned 33 last month.  I moved into our house while then-FI was working in Africa for a few months back in November 09, he came home in February 10, we got married in April and we’re thinking about the baby situation too.  While I do think it’s a lot to manage in a short time, it’s not impossible.  I am of the mind that we ‘try’ for a baby sooner rather than later so that we can know for sure if we’re going to have any trouble or if there are any problems we don’t know about.  We’re taking the approach that we’re ready, we’re not preventing and we’ll see what happens!

What does Fiance think?

Post # 4
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think thats a big delema.  We bought a house and got married within 8 months and its been a huge change.  Now that we are married, I have really enjoyed “nesting”.  We are still young (mid 20’s) so I don’t really feel the baby clock ticking yet. 

I think you have a lot of valid points to wait to have a baby, but it may come down to there is no perfect time.  If you wait to do all the household repairs, furnish the place, pay off the wedding, and do all the travel you would like, it could be 5+ years!!

Can you maybe try to look at finances and compare that to the list of things you want/need to do.  There will be stuff you can do later when you have a child (maybe not with an infant, but within a year or so you can get back to doing things like painting the house). 

See if there is a good break in that list of when would be a good time.  What if you got pregnant right after next summer (July/August 2011)?  That would get you a good 8 months of being married, get some of the house stuff done, a trip done and then have a baby.

Post # 5
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think you seem pretty confident and mature enough to know the pros and cons for TTC now and waiting.  I wish you the best of luck!

Post # 6
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Hmmm…  I didn’t do the trifecta – just the married and bought a house (or at least started the process) within two months.  We wound up with a house that didn’t need a whole lot of work so I got the Baby Bug pretty badly for a while.  If I’d had house projects to focus on that might have been different.  Or not because I could tell you where exactly I would have put the crib…

It sounds like you’re going to be able to make it work (relatively easily) no matter what.  So what if you just put off TTC until the spring?  That way even if you do get pregnant right away you should still be able to go on your roadtrip, even if your husband has to finish painting the house by himself, but you’re still not waiting ages to start?

Post # 7
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We are! Not necessarily intentionally, but it’s just how it worked out. We were married in May, found out we were expecting mid July, and closed on our house early August. We’ll have a 2.5 month old at our one year anniversary!

We also decided to put off our honeymoon and buy a house. It seemed like a better investment for us right now. We were looking for a house since last fall, but put it on hold until after the wedding. We were under contract before we realized that we were pregnant. We were kind of trying to get pregnant, but not really trying.

It was stressful to move, but on the plus side I got off easy because I was pregnant. I did mostly packing/unpacking, and Mother-In-Law and Darling Husband did the cleaning of our apartment, and Darling Husband and his brother did the heavy lifting and moving of furniture. Our house was move in ready, aside from a few small things, which we are doing slowly.

We decided to hold off ripping up the carpet and refinishing the wood floors underneath, as well as hold off painting the entire house. We’re going to paint the second bedroom, but we’ll do it together and use the low VOC paint so it’s safe.

Darling Husband and I just wanted to be parents. We enjoy our jobs, but for us life is about family and that meant us starting our own. It is a priority to everything else, including careers and traveling. Our wedding was pretty relaxed, aside from a few stressful times during planning. We bought a house that was well within our means, knowing we’d have the expenses of a baby coming relatively soon. I’m a little nervous about money, but Dh and I are budgeting again and planning ahead, so I’m sure we’ll figure it out.

A few things to remember… There is never a perfect time to have a baby. And, many of the things you “need to buy” for a baby, you really don’t need. It’s a lot of marketing to get people to spend money, and half the stuff you won’t use or your baby won’t like. And many baby things you can buy second hand in great condition, saving money and the landfills. Babies are definitely expensive, but you don’t really need to spend thousands on baby gear.

I think budgeting and figuring out if you can swing it after a big house down payment and wedding costs is the first step. But it is possible. It’s a lot to handle in one year, and your life definitely changes quickly, but if it’s what you want, it can be awesome.

Post # 8
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

We did the quadfecta!  Marriage, Baby, House, Job!

1) Got married in July ’09

2) Got pregnant August ’09

3) Interviewed for new jobs Sept ’09

4) Got new job offer Dec ’09

5) Had baby May ’10

6) Bought house June ’10

7) Moved to new state Aug ’10

8) New job starts Sept ’10

And my honey and I still like each other!  Yeah, it’s been stressful, but we’ve been taking it in stride!


Post # 9
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2000

Pretty much I am doing the ‘trifecta’ or maybe a quad, if you include getting engaged in Feb.  Bought and moved into our house in July, married and then he moved in October (10th, like you but one year ago) and got pregnant in April. We never even thought or talked seriously about having kids (except maybe NOT to have them) until January when we made our big decision. We had a little minimoon and delayed our Italian honeymoontrip. It was paid for with part of our wedding money and  actually became our conceptionmoon in April. The biggest regret from other friends who conceived right away is that they didn’t get the opportunity to travel together and I can understand this desire. I have traveled tons in my life already.  We are fine with our timeline but each situation is unique. We did find out I was pregnant very early on, have a strong support system and faith in place. We were very ready to have this baby and have been doing home preparations ever since we found out. We had to cut out some major stuff like getting the floors done but we can live with that.



Post # 10
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We closed on our house a week prior to the wedding, and conceived 7 months after, so baby won’t be born within the year but s/he’s coming!

While we bought a house knowing we’d be having kids soon and budgeted acordingly {I’m 30, clock was-a-ticking!}, I miss being able to splurge on home decor items when I know we need to save the money for a stroller, car seat, diapers, etc.

Babies don’t have to be expensive, but yes, add it all together and things can get out of hand quickly! I’d make a plan, see how much things will cost and what you have left after the wedding, etc… then figure out what the priority is? New living room furniture or a crib? That’s along the lines of what we did and it really brought things into perspective and made us see that yes, it can work!

That said, no matter how much you plan, some unexpected expense will *always* come up to make you think “maybe we should wait to TTC”, at some point you just have to take the plunge!

Post # 11
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We were similar to Mrs. DG. We did quite a few things within a year.

1. Got married Sept. 09

2. Got pregnant Sept. 09 (2 weeks after)

3. Hubby got new job Sept. 09

4. Moved to new city Oct. 09

5. Had Baby June 2010

6. Now in the process of buying our first home hopefully before end of Oct.


It’s funny because the one piece of advice that my boss had given was to not do the trifecta in one year. Whoops!

Post # 12
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I got engaged in July 08, married in June 09, pregnant in January 2010, and bought a house in March 2010. I think it can be overwhelming, but if you’re ready, you’re ready! There’s no perfect timeline, IMO. Although I am in my early 30s and I think I was really ready for all of these steps!

Post # 13
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Add us to the list!  Here was our year:

1)  Married May, 2009

2)  Bought a house September, 2009

3)  Husband started grad school October, 2009

4)  Found out I was pregnant October, 2009

5)  Remodeled bathroom and nursery November, 2009 – March, 2010

6)  Had a baby June, 2010

Personally, I thought it was stressful at times, but not unmanageable.  Of course, this is the second house we’ve bought and done improvements on, so we kinda knew what we were in for.  If you’ve never been a homeowner before, it might be a good idea to wait on the pregnancy until you’ve settled into your new place.

Post # 16
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

What you could do, if you’re worried about complications when you TTC, is go to the doctor now to talk about your fertility & how to make your body ready for when the time comes (vitamins, & whatever else). Maybe it will help alleviate some of your worries? 

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