(Closed) Pregnant who is the father

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 61
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Robine, I’m glad you can see the positives in your situation!  And that you aren’t going to let some raised eyebrows stop you from enjoying your little miracle baby.

AS for the timing, you did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG. Of course you weren’t going to use a condom or jack your body up with hormones if there was basically no chance you could be a mom anyway, especially if you were responsible and tested for Save-The-Date Cards first! There is nothing wrong with consensual sex between adults, which is what you have had in each case. If either if your exes has a problem with that… They don’t deserve to be in your life or that of your sweet little baby either.

good luck, however your little miracle turns out!

Post # 62
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

 

Robine:  *HAPPY DANCE* CONGRATULATIONS GIRL!!!!!!!

 

I will think positive thoughts that it is your ex FIs baby and all is much more simple. If not, whichever way you are going to be a MOM and potential Dads handle the situation with as little stress for you as possible!!

Post # 65
Member
12096 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Under the circumstances, I disagree that this is the one and only chance you will ever have to be a mom.  That is all I will say.

Post # 66
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Unfortunately, based on the weeks estimator on the pregnancy test, I’d have to say ex-BF is most likely the father. And, while your situation is certainly not ideal, you didn’t do anything wrong. You were BROKEN UP from your ex-FI and in a committed relationship with someone else. Nobody’s perfect. I wish you the best of luck and urge you to continue being honest (with both men) for the sake of everyone involved- including the baby. Good luck! And, congratulations!

Post # 67
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Congrats… I hope it all works out (seriously, and honesty is the best policy here). Side note: just because a doctor tells you something does not make it 100% correct. They are human and make errors. I have heard too many stories of someone who was told they were sterile only to have a child later. If you don’t want to have children or get any Save-The-Date Cards, use condoms/birth control all of the time. 

Post # 69
Member
229 posts
Helper bee

I dont have much advice but just wanted to wish you congratulations on your baby. Sometimes the circumstances aren’t ideal but you have a little miracle on the way. 

I fell pregnant with my SO after only 3 months of dating, not ideal! But hey babies happen when babies happen! 

Ignore the harsh comments and focus on your little one 🙂 

good luck and congrats! X

Post # 70
Member
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why are some people being rude about this? Guess what guys, it’s ok for a woman to have sex with her boyfriend, and it’s ok for her to have sex with someone else after she & the boyfriend break up. I find the negative reactions to this to be interesting, actually–hypocritical and anti-feminist. 

OP, good luck to you and congratulations on your pregnancy. You’ll need a paternity test to be sure who the dad is. I hope you and your ex-fiance get back together either way, if you want to. Even if the baby isn’t his, he’d be in its life from day 1.

Post # 71
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

MrsMeowton: not sure I see your point, as only one state is at the top of sex Ed scores, so Texas is in the company of 48 other states. 

Also, good to know you’re comfortable stereotyping. at least you are willing to admit it. 

Post # 73
Member
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

And p.s. — for those making fun of the OP for thinking she could get possibly pregnant from what happened with her ex-FI on Oct. 1, she actually *could* have gotten pregnant. Obviously the chance is a lot smaller than if she’d had intercourse with him then, but there is still a chance. You don’t have to have intercourse to get pregnant; sperm can survive out of the body and enter a woman via fingers, etc.

Where did I learn this? SEX ED. I remember because it terrified me in 7th grade.

Post # 75
Member
12096 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Whatever you decide to do, I assume you are aware that this is a huge decision that you are making with consequences that will in all likelihood tie you to this ex for the rest of your life.  You may not have the freedom to move more than a few miles away from this person for 18 years, for a job or any other reason. Depending on your location, custody may be split right down the middle, even in the early years. All decisions may have to be made by mutual consent. If bio dad hides his income because he doesn’t want to pay child support, you may have to be sole support of your child. 

Even if you have no doubts at all about keeping the baby, I would strongly suggest both counseling and legal advice for all you are going through, for all the lives it will affect, and for the obstacles and complications it may  pose. Laying the best possible foundation is crucial. 

 

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