Pregnant woman kicked out of her seat – what would you say / do???

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
3040 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Well, your sister wouldn’t have even needed to ask…I’d be returning some unsolicited opinions right back to the young woman.

Your sister was where she was allowed to be. I’d love to see someone try the same with me. If they weren’t educated before, they’re going to be after I’m done.

Post # 3
Member
7873 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’d have told the lady to fuck right off. 

Post # 4
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

At 8 months pregnant, I wouldn’t have got up. You say pregnant women are entitled to those seats. I would have said to the woman, “I’m 8 months pregnant, someone else can give up their seat.”

Now that I’m not pregnant, I’ll give up my seat for anyone who obviously needs it, whether or not I’m sitting in a priority seat. As should anyone else who can.

Post # 5
Member
9033 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

maocat :  Well where I am those seats are not reserved for pregnant people so I guess I wouldn’t have said anything about it. I probably would have told the guy off for his comments though. Pregnant women are not a protected class so are no more deserving of a seat than anyone else who is not classified as disabled (and there are a lot of people with chronic illnesses/conditions who don’t get to sit in those seats despite a seat being best for them).

If where you are those seats are reserved for pregnant people then I would have pointed to the signage that says that and say I was entitled to sit there. And in that case as an observer I would have spoken up and tried to get someone to give up their seat (or given up mine if I was sitting) to either your sister or the man with a cane (depending on who had the greater mobility issue).

Post # 6
Member
2156 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

j_jaye :  Being pregnant doesn’t classify you as disabled but it does make it much more difficult and more unsafe to stand on public transport. Your posture changes, your sense of balance changes, you’re much more likely to fall if the train lurches. And if you do fall, it could cause you to miscarry or cause you other harm because you will instinctively fall in a way to protect your unborn baby rather than yourself. Depending on the woman you can also feel faint when standing for too long, dizzy, sick, tired. My first pregnancy was without complications and my second is so far as well, touchwood, but when I’m on public transport I have to sit down otherwise I start feeling very ill very quickly. Walking is fine but standing still in a moving vehicle isn’t…

Sorry if my comment sounds angry, it’s not aimed at you so much as at the woman who asked someone to give up their seat at 8 months pregnant.. all I can say is that that woman has obviously never been pregnant herself.

My advice is, if you’re pregnant and you know you’re not comfortable standing, don’t look at other people like you’re willing to give up your seat for them, and prepare a polite reply in advance in case anyone asks you to. My response would be ”I’m sorry, I’m pregnant and I’m not feeling well. I’m sure someone else will be happy to give up their seat for this gentleman/lady.”

Post # 7
Member
2156 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Also, when pregnant I find it easier not to sit in priority seats if possbile or to sit somewhere more out of the way, just because it minimizes the risk that someone will not realize that you’re pregnant and ask you to get up. Last time when I was nearly 9 months pregnant someone asked me to get up for an old woman, after hesitating I did, because I was getting off at the next stop anyway, and when the woman who asked me to get up saw my enormous tummy she was extremely embarassed and apologetic.

Post # 8
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I call BS on anyone trying to argue that pregnant (especially heavily pregnant) women aren’t more deserving of a seat on public transport than (able bodied) anyone else.  They absolutely are and people who try to argue otherwise are straight up arse holes.

I’m happy to give up my seat to anyone who looks like they are having a harder day than I am, Pregnant, disabled, injured or just feeling ill, exhausted or upset.  I’m happy to give my seat and not be a dick about it.

Post # 9
Member
9632 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

People who don’t think an 8 month pregnant woman should have a seat clearly have never been pregnant.

But I probably wouldn’t have said anything honestly, because people are psycho and I’d rather stand than get in a confrontation with some crazy woman.

Post # 10
Member
6833 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

It’s not about being entitled. It’s about it being possibly dangerous for a pregnant woman to stand on public transport. 

Now who was in the rest of the special seats? Were they all elderly/disabled people? Because then, even though I’d still be annoyed at that woman, I’d understand more and probably get up anyway. But were the rest of those seats full of healthy adults? Fuck that. 

ETA: I’ve never been pregnant and I understand how dangerous it is. Seriously, who doesn’t get that?

Post # 11
Member
4534 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If I were your sister, I probably would’ve done what she did and just kept quiet because I’m not eager to get into a confrontation with a stranger.

However, if I were another passenger on the train with a seat and saw that happen, I would’ve offered my seat to the pregnant woman. 

I’m in DC and I’m pretty sure (though not 100%) that the priority seats are for those with physical disablities, those who are elderly, AND those who are pregnant. 

Post # 12
Member
3040 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

llevinso :  I think it’s important to remember that you can’t always tell “healthy adults”. 

Disabilities aren’t always blatant. So really, people just need to not assume and not try to pass judgements whether for a pregnant woman (for all the reasons pointed out with pregnancy and restrictions and because someone with a disability could also be pregnant) or any person that could have a disability and need priority seating. 

Point blank, the stranger just needs to mind her own business and anyone that feels well enough to stand will stand at their own discretion.

Post # 13
Member
6833 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

soymilk :  That’s very true. I’m just saying that if you’re kicked out of your seat while visibly pregnant while other seemingly “normal” people are still sitting down, that’s ridiculous. There’s no way that every other person sitting down on that train had a disability. Not just in the priority seating either. No one sitting in the whole train car thought to get up to give this woman her seat? 

Post # 14
Member
8467 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

maocat :  I’d have told the woman to screw. I’m 28 weeks pregnant right now and while I don’t expect people to jump up and give me a seat (most days I’d rather stand anyways because my back is sore) I have ZERO problem asking for a seat if I’m really desperate and need to sit. And if I was already sitting I’d say “I’m pregnant and really need to sit right now. Is there a reason you can’t give up your seat?”

Post # 15
Member
374 posts
Helper bee

Westwood :  This exactly! Fully agree. I never said anything either to avoid a confrontation but I also could not keep my balance, at all, on a moving train that far along. My husband, literally, had to catch me a few times.

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