Premarital counseling

posted 1 year ago in Catholic
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  • Post # 16
    Member
    697 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    victorialew :  We are doing counseling with our Priest and there is no fee. We are not doing any weekend retreats or workbooks or tests though, so that might be why. We are both older- 31 and 41 and have been married before and have lived together for 4 years, so our Priest didn’t think it was necessary to do some of the things younger or previously unmarried couples might need to do. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    2809 posts
    Sugar bee

    Yes. We had multiple pre cans fees. All in it probably totaled $500 but we are in an HCOL city.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1144 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yes it’s normal to pay a fee for the pre marital or cana course.

    Our cost $70 per person, so $140 for us total. We’re in Ontario in the Greater Toronto area. We did the course in 2016.

    We did not get a weekend retreat like some people have. We definitely didn’t get free food! Ours was 16 classes. We had to attend a 2 hour class twice a week for 8 weeks. Attendance to every session was mandatory. There was not a workbook, just a lot of paper handouts. So much paper.

    Heads up! You can also expect to make a customary donation to the parish where you wed, and pay the organist. 

    At my church, when it got closer to the wedding date, Fr. gave us an info sheet explaining that if we wanted the organist to play, it was a flat fee of $200 and using your own music was not allowed.

    He did not outright ask for a donation, but I knew it was expected, so I asked him about it.

    He nodded and said yes it’s customary. A donation is made to the name of the parish, not to the priest. 

    We are going to donate $200, because we’re having a tiny wedding with just two witnesses and not having a mass, so I feel that’s appropriate.

    It’s really hard to get peoples opinions on how much in an appropriate donation. You ask and they get coy. It’s weird. It depends on where you live, cost of living, how much you’re spending on the wedding, et cet.  You’de probably get major side eye from your parish if you’re having a $40,000 wedding and give them fifty dollars! 😉

    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Doing the cana course is a big step, how exciting for you both. We found the course very helpful and gave us a lot to talk about.

     

    Post # 19
    Member
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    victorialew :  This is normal. It can be intimidating because the wedding industry also pushes Catholic brides into thinking they’re required to spend more money because “big church wedding. You need lace and a chapel veil.” 

    Start with costofwedding.com 
    This will give you a base estimate of what other people in your area have spent. You can get lower. The average cost in my area was well over 20K. I didn’t reach 8K. Everyone was shocked because my wedding didn’t look it. 

    Figure out what’s actually required for your Catholic wedding by utilizing http://www.catholicweddinghelp.com/ and http://www.foryourmarriage.org/dating-engaged/planning-a-catholic-wedding/

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