- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
I apologize in advance… This is a little deeper than any previous posts from myself, and it’s pretty long!
My SO and I will be engaged within the next few months (as per previous discussions), and I know that he is not really interested in premarital counseling. To be honest, I don’t feel that it’s necessary for our relationship. I think that for many couples who maybe haven’t communicated certain ideas or values to each other, it’a a useful tool.
I do know, however, that his parents (his mother, to be exact) have been urging him to begin premarital counseling. My SO went to Catholic school up until college; his five younger brothers and sisters are all in Catholic school as well.
I was not planned. My parents had me when they were 19; dad was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and my mother was “Catholic”. My parents took me to several different Christian churches growing up, and I leaned more towards the Catholic church. My parents divorced while I was in high school, but I continued to attend church as much as possible on my own. I left home at age 17 and have been supporting myself ever since, working and going to school.
I do not consider myself to be a true Catholic as I was never baptized. I think it’s a beautiful religion with good moral values for the most part. I do not believe in every single view of the church, and SO agrees with me on many religious viewpoints.
I looked into premarital counseling to appease SO’s mother. Basically, several months before your wedding you talk to a priest and a married Catholic couple who are members of the church (which you must be a member of for a certain amount of time) and have meetings with them for a certain period of time before the wedding.
The questions they ask are literally all questions that SO and I have discussed on our own. We don’t necessarily agree on every little thing, but we understand each others’ views and know how and when to compromise.
SO and I read The 5 Love Languages and quizzed ourselves and compared results, we have discussions on a daily basis about our present and hopeful futures. We love each other unconditionally and both agree that neither of us particularly want or need counseling. However, SO has mentioned that he would like a Catholic mass at our wedding.
I guess my thing here is just that I’d like some sound advice about the whole situation. I don’t know of any priest that would perform a ceremony without counseling, and I’m not sure his parents would be extremely happy with us if we decided not to go with a Catholic ceremony.
Does anyone have any stories to share or advice to give about anything I’ve mentioned? Please and thank you (: