(Closed) Premarital counseling

posted 12 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2008

i’m getting married in tenessee and if you get married out there they reduce your marriage license fee from 100 bucks to 30 so that’s what we’re doing! plus, i think it’d be a good idea.

 

🙂

Post # 18
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Well, since neither myself or my FH are religious we are getting married by an officiant outside, so no premarital counselling required. We opted not to go through any anyways, for various reasons. We have been together for over 4 years, and have lived together for 3 of those, sharing household expenses and living commonlaw. One of those years was spent travelling together in Australia, living in a van, and THAT was an eye-opening experience! The stress of travelling, and living together in such close quaters, really solidified our relationship. It was a make or break kind of thing. We have had many conversations about raising kids, managing money, and open communication, so we feel like we’ve kind of done our own premarital counselling!

A friend of mine who got married in her fiance’s church went through premarital counselling with their minister, but whenever touchy subjects came up or disagreements happened, the minister glossed over it and they moved ahead. He left issues for them to work out at home, which doesn’t really seem to be the point of counselling! I have heard good things too, though, about counselling. I guess it all depends on the counsellor.

Post # 19
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

I guess I am in the minority on this one.

We did not get married in a church. We did have a UU minister perform the ceremony, and we met with her 2-3 times before our wedding. The first meeting she asked us about families, whether we wanted kids, etc., but the rest of the meetings were about the actual ceremony. So, I guess we sort of had premarital counseling, but it wasn’t terribly in depth.

We have been together for 5 years, living together for 2, and didn’t feel a need to seek out additional counseling above and beyond that. We have had many talks about finances, life goals, etc. and feel like we are on the same page on all of it.

I do think it’s a good idea in general, but it shouldn’t be forced.

 

Post # 20
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We are starting ours with our minster on the 21st!

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