(Closed) Premarital Counselling – Where to Get it, How to Choose a Counselor.

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Sorry I can’t help you, I am required to do it through my church.

Post # 4
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Typically if you are getting married in a church or by a clergy person, they will request or require that you have marriage counseling performed. Usually this is either through meetings with your pastor or a seminar/retreat of some kind. I would ask your church what they recommend. If you are not satisfied with this, you could always supplement with another counselor.

Post # 5
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think, because your faith is important to you, going through your church may be a good option (especially if your fiance feels the same).  The alternative could be seeing a “regular” not religious oriented therapist. 

Some possible pros and cons?  (Or maybe just things to consider).  Working with your clergy person will allow the incorporation of religious ideas into discussions of the topics that will come up–if religion is important to you, it may be important to not separate the two.  Then again, working with a clergy person may not allow you the benefit of working with someone whose had training in conducting therapy.  (Though there are many clergy people who DO, so that’s by no means intended to be a comment to describe everyone).

The benefits of seeing a “regular” therapist is that you would be meeting with someone who does have a background and training in working with couples in a therapeutic manner, and it could allow you to have your religion remain separate (this could also be an option if your fiance doesn’t share AS strong religious beliefs).

I know, for awhile, we were considering seeing a therapist, in part because my fiance identifies more as an athiest, and wasn’t feeling comfortable meeting with a rabbi.  We’re figuring it out still. 

I think overall, no matter who you meet with, make sure it’s someone the two of you feel safe with, and someone you feel can support the two of you and really hear what you have to say without judgment.  That’s important in any therapist/therapeutic person you see. 

Good luck in your search!  🙂

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