(Closed) Premarital Sex

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Is/was premarital sex a requirement for you to get married?

    Yes

    Just a preference

    I could go either way

    My preference is to wait

    I require that we wait

    I require that FI is a virgin on our wedding day

    I require that FI have experience with other people

    I prefer that FI have experience with other people

    I prefer that FI is a virgin on our wedding day

  • Post # 47
    Member
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    @AnaA:  I totally respect your decision – for me personally, I learned what I liked through masturbation (how I liked to be touched, learning how to have an orgasm, etc.), and I firmly believe I couldn’t have been comfortable having sex with another person until I figured out what I liked for myself. Again, I respect your decision (and good for you for knowing what you want and trusting that), I just can’t quite wrap my head around it.

    Post # 48
    Member
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

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    @jadlnc:  RIGHT?! I’ve had this same experience too. I had a guy who I swear I wanted to marry, but he was so terrible in bed. He wouldn’t take direction, and would only have sex with me in the missionary position in the dark.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1128 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

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    @Windsong_:  Thank you! That’s ok! ๐Ÿ˜›

     

    Post # 50
    Member
    4369 posts
    Honey bee

    I would never marry someone I didn’t sleep with first. And I would strongly prefer, pretty much require, that my partner have been with other people, or else he would always wonder. I know I would. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    My fiance and I are both Christians and are waiting for marriage for sex.

    Post # 52
    Member
    3370 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @Windsong_:  There is a vagina for every penis, it just might not be mine. Laughing

    Post # 53
    Member
    11512 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

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    @ladyamalthea:  My view of divorce is in line with what I believe Scripture says about the matter — that God hates  it and that it is permissable in the eyes of God only  for certain, Biblically sanctioned reasons (unfaithfulness, as specified by Jesus, or abandonment, as noted by the apostle Paul.)

    As a Christian, I believe that I would be wrong if I were ever to initiate  a divorce unless  it were based on one or both of these exemptions, and I believe that I would have been wrong ever to have married a divorced man unless  he was divorced for one or both of these Biblically permitted reasons.

    Before I met and fell in love with my DH (who is Biblically divorced), it had been my hope that I would meet a man of God who had never been married and who also had waited until marriage to have sex. However, I thought that it was likely that, at my age (mid 40s), I may not meet a man who had waited.  For me, the issue was not  what did he did or did not do in his past  but, rather, whether or not he had fully surrendered his life to Christ and whether or not, from that point forward , he believed that sex should be reserved for marriage and had strived to live a lifestyle consistent with that belief.

    Post # 54
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We were both virgins when we met, but neither of us planned on staying that way. It wouldn’t have been a deal breaker if my SO wasn’t a virgin when we met, but it wasn’t a requirement or anything. We both gained experience together. We have been together for five years now and aren’t even engaged yet, so I couldn’t imagine waiting that long to have sex. It was, however, a requirement that we live together before marriage, so usually living together leads to sex.

    Post # 55
    Member
    537 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    BrielleI wasn’t in love with the guy, but I met someone who, over the course of about 3 months, I became very close to and shared some very emotionally intimate moments. We slept together once and it was…awful. Sexual compatibility is extremely important to me, and I knew at that moment that the relationship could not go any further from my side. My emotional attachment to him began to wane immediately.

    Post # 57
    Member
    1268 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 1994

    I think sex is only one aspect of a relationship, and in the long run, to make a relationship work and last, compatability has to come from other areas. 

    Post # 58
    Member
    1268 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 1994

    Also though, I definately have never advocated ‘waiting for marriage.’ I think that is just kind of silly in many ways. 

    Post # 59
    Member
    4369 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    @Hausfrau:  agree with you. I’ve had bf’s who were just not compatible with me in that department, and once I figured that out, the relationship was doomed. Life’s too short for bad sex. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    2143 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    We have only been with each other, but we are definitely not waiting until marriage. 

    Post # 61
    Member
    11512 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    View original reply
    @MissBettsy:  Wow — about your having considered becoming a nun.  I’m sure that was an interesting and challenging decision to make.

    As for your former boyfriend, although I obviously cannot agree with the specific means by which you eventually discovered his insensitivity toward you, I am very glad that you were able to learn about his self-centered nature prior to having committed your life to him. 

    View original reply
    @Hausfrau:  Thank you so much for taking time to share your story.

    View original reply
    @ladyamalthea:  Thank you very much. You are very sweet. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Refusing to settle — and holding out for a man who would prioritize his relationship with God over his relationship with me was extremely  important to me, since that is my belief as well.

    Add to that the requirement of finding someone who also possessed other, non-negotiable (for me) qualities, and to whom I was very attracted on a spiritual, emotional, and physical level seemed to many people who knew me to be a nearly impossible task, given how long I had already waited. However, I always believed that God had someone specific in mind for me and that He would ensure that our paths would cross in HIS timing. (I’m just glad that I didn’t know when I was in my 20s that I would have to wait 20 more years before I would meet my then-future husband, because that would have seemed utterly daunting to me at that time in my life. ๐Ÿ™‚

    However, I can say what several of my dear friends have said (friends who waited until they were 35, 45, and 49 to meet their Godly husbands) — it definitely was worth the wait.

    The topic ‘Premarital Sex’ is closed to new replies.

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