(Closed) Premarriage counseling, anyone else do it?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I took that same “test” but they called it an inventory.  We also did pre-marital counseling through my catholic church.  It was with a group of other engaged couples totaling to about 40 people.  We talked about moral issues, sexual expectations, money plans, etc.  My Fiance and I had already discussed a lot of these things but it did spark some new conversation.

I think pre-marital counseling is a must for every couple. 

Post # 4
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

LOL @ “unhappily married” under traditional. We didn’t do premarital counseling, but now that I’ve heard about this test, I want to take it! I’m guessing we’d fall somewhere between vitalized and harmonized. We don’t really differ in major ways on any key issues.

Post # 5
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We’re doing pre-marriage counseling, because our officiant requires it.  The Prepare-Enrich inventory was the first part of it – we’ve done that, the results are in, but we haven’t had any of the actual sessions though.  About 1/3rd of the questions just baffled both of us (I was in the room, though not looking at the computer when he did his.)  “How do I answer this? ‘I wish my fiancee shared my hobbies.’  You DO share my hobbies!”

 

Post # 6
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

We did premarital counseling with our reverend and it was by far our favorite part of wedding planning 🙂

Don’t stress, enjoy it for what it is and look at it as a way to strengthen something that is already obviously strong.

Post # 8
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@ cyneswith My FAVORITE question was something like “Do you foresee your future spouse behaving inappropriately due to alcohol or other drugs?”  We looked at each other and said “YES!!!”

We were both tickled to pieces over this one.  We both drink responsibly but still love to get silly.

Post # 9
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We just took what I believe is the same test (FOCCUS?) last night. We had a good laugh afterwards. Our favorite question was “I anticipate feeling nervous or uncomfortable naked in front of my spouse”, or something to that effect.

We are cohabitating but may have left that detail out when talking with our deacon so we didn’t have to do that section of questions. However, I read over them and some were pretty depressing. They basically implied that people that live together before marriage are just getting married because they feel pressure from others, or like it is just the right thing to do or whatever… silly Catholic church!

But that being said it was a good experience. We both agreed that we had really discussed pretty much everything addressed on the test and it made us feel that we actually are very prepared for marriage. So hopefully there will be no dramatic surprises in store for us after marriage!

Post # 10
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I plan to do pre-marital counseling. I think it will be a great opportunity to discuss things that we maybe didn’t think about. I love our pastor and I’m excited to learn from him, though I know that parts of the counseling will be difficult.

I’m curious if we will have to take that test, but if I do I think I would panic a little. I mean, what does a stupid scan tron test know about me and my SO? Besides, my SO can be a bit of a smartass sometimes so I’m sure he wouldn’t answer the questions truthfully, he would try to be funny.

Post # 11
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We have our first premarital counseling this weekend.  I am excited, but a little nervous.  Just like some of the other bee’s I am wondering if we will take a test as well. 

Post # 12
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I really wouldn’t think of it as a test, makes it more intimidating. It’s more like an extreme version of Como’s compatibility quizzes. Look at it as something fun that will give you and your Fiance things to talk about (or laugh about) afterwards. It’s really not bad I promise!

Post # 13
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

we are doing premarital counseling but we didn’t take a test, to me it seems a little odd that people would take a test to see if they are compatible… I think our love for each other and God and commitment has more to do with our chances of getting divorced than any question they could have on a test but again that is just me lol

Post # 14
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Compatibility may have been a poor choice of words. It mostly just brings up topics that will definitely come up in a marriage such as how to raise children, how many to have, dealing with extended family, finances, etc… Basically all things engaged couples should be talking about. I think the purpose is to make sure you actually have thought about what marriage entails and aren’t rushing into things.

Post # 15
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@meginstl: okay that sounds so much better! thank you for the clarification =)

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