Post # 1
Has anyone done this? We just met with our Rabbi who will be marrying us and he said he suggests it for all couples just to get everything out in the open. But I’m not sure if it is just for the $$ because he said you will discuss how many kids you want, what you will do with your finances, your sex life..and I feel like FI and I have already talked about all of these things.
Let me know if you did it and your expierence. Thanks!!
Post # 3
@MrsMiller2Be127: We did it and we found it to be extremely valuable. We talked about issues that every couple should discuss before getting married. It was worth it!
Post # 4
@MrsMiller2Be127: I think it is a good idea. We did it, and loved it. While we have great communication there was still things to discuss and just make sure we are on the same page.
Post # 5
I say so it! It cant hurt and if it does then should shouldn’t marry the person anyway. Sad but true! Plus you learn effective ways to communicate, every couple will fight eventually and knowing how to talk to each other is really important.
Post # 6
I don’t see the point–I’ve looked over the lists of questions they ask and it’s all stuff that we’ve discussed.
Post # 7
@MrsMiller2Be127: We had to rabbi shop for a reform rabbi as we wanted to get married before sundown on a saturday night.
I wouldn’t call it counseling. But I think it is pretty standard across the board for rabbis to do this.
We’ve had 3 meetings and have 1 more to go.
1st meeting – Rabbi mailed us 30 questions to answers about a variety of topics, marriage, children, money, social life, judaism, etc. At the first meeting we discussed all of our answers.
2nd meeting – discussed ceremony, traditions we would like to include or not include, the order of ceremony, and everything else pertaining to the ceremony including tish and ketubbah signing. we practiced the hebrew phrase that we will say to each other.
3rd meeting – our mothers joined us (both of our fathers have passed) so the rabbi could meet our mothers as well and dicscuss any concerns or questions
4th meeting (we will have this a few weeks before the wedding) – just to go over all the details and make sure everything will run smoothly.
we pay a flat fee for the rabbi to marry us which includes these 4 sessions.
as far as actual counselling, we did not have that.
Post # 8
I think it’s a great idea and my SO and I will be participating in premarital counseling because that’s a requirement in my church.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t shell out money for a list of questions I can google on the internet.
Post # 10
@MrsMiller2Be127: We did the remarital counseling course. I was not looking forward to it because i felt like we had discussed all these things already. And while we had, we had never sat down and just discussed “us” for hours on end. It was really special, just in that it forced you to spend hours with no other topics on your plate besides your relationship. We had a lot of fun with it. 🙂
If money is tight, dont go for it. Yet, “googling” it is not the same, becuase inevitably you end up talking about work, the pets, chores, the broken sink….lol. Normal stuff that is in your daily life. Versus if you are somewhere seperate, it keeps you more “on task” in a way.
Post # 11
Why not? I say do it if you are both willing. I’m not close to getting married as yet but it is something to do together.