- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Thinking of you and little Abbie today. You sound like a great mom, you’re doing everything you currently can which is what she needs from you.
I jsut wanted to share another happy story with you. My cousin was born super early as well. When he was born he weighed just a little over 2lbs. He was in the NICU for the first 3 months of his life. He is now 6 months old and he his thriving! They also took it day by day. There would be days when he would take 2 steps foreward and 3 steps back but he was a fighter and he made it through! I will pray for you OP!
Keeping you and Abbie in my thoughts!
My niece was born at 25 weeks and is now 2 years old. She was very small for her age for the first year and a half but now she has almost caught up to the other children her age. She is a very happy and healthy little girl. Sending you and your baby best wishes x
Sounds like she is doing amazing! Kangaroo care is amazing. And I hope the meds close her PDA. Awesome to hear about no brain bleeds! You don’t have to share but remember to take tons of pictures!!! Believe it or not your time in the NICU is going to fly by!
So it’s been an up and down week. baby has a PDA (hole in heart all babies have, but tiny babies have a hard time closing it on their own). She was treated with meds and it seemed to close up and she was doing ok. Still on vent. However bad news, it reopened. They are doing another round Of meds (over 3 days). I’m praying really hard that it closes. If it doesn’t she will need surgery (which is scary by itself). It seems to be holding her back from starting to work on getting her off the vent (which will take weeks).
The whole experiance is scary. Surreal.
Praying for my little girl.
I’m trying to look at this day to day. I can’t forsee what will happen. I have to deal with what happens as it happens.
Im also dealing with my husbands attitude and behavior too. He’s a great person, don’t get me wrong. But lately, he’s I don’t know, having a hard time. Maybe worse anxiety than me. He’s having a tough time and questioning to what end will the doctors put out fires? He’s looking more at long term issues that don’t exist yet. And when I’m asking him how he feels after each days report he literally says nothing. Or today, got adjitated and started on a rant about long term outcomes. I told him how it made me feel about how he’s coming across. It makes me more upset and agitated when he is. I don’t know if he’s just thinking about her outcome but also how it will effect us. But he needs to stop. All we know is she is on a vent and she was doing ok with the PDA until now.
I just can’t look and focus on long term issues – things can change in a daily basis.
it it just makes me so sad. I really wish hed stop with that. A million scenarios can happen. I’m hoping for the best, but we have to deal with it all in the end.
im going to talk to him again about it. I just have to get him to understand he can’t totally go there at the moment. I want him to talk to me but we need to be calm and a united front on the same page.
Also freckled fox, thank you too. I didn’t mention in my prior post – I am getting to know the nurses and they are all wonderful. I feel like I am doing what I can with the pumping and being there every day. And hand cuddling with her. I just want to be there for her however I can.
and thanks to everyone who has shared a great story. I am crossing my fingers and praying for the best.
I am wishing you all the best. My best friend had a preemie baby and he was in the hospital for 3 months. He is now a healthy 3 year old.
Hang in there, mom. Guys can get PPD, too, and there are lots of reports/studies about PTSD in NICU parents. Try to find someone for him to talk to about it. The social workers should be around and be able to at least point you in the right direction. Nurses, even, they’ll know who to ask and might even be able to call someone to your room to chat for a bit.
We had our moments, too, trust me. I was crying constantly, I was just so mad. I tried to talk to my husband, just to tell him what I was feeling. I just wanted him to hug me and say it was ok to feel that way. But he doesn’t do stress like that. He needs a solution, to plan for every eventuality. At one point he nearly threatened to leave me if I didn’t get over it. We’ve worked through it, obviously, but it was HARD.
Our son had a murmur that they suspected was PDA closing. It was really loud, then it was just… gone. Hoping the same for you, or whatever it takes to fix it.
I have been following and have kept you, baby and your husband in my thoughts and prayers daily.
My son was born technically premature and spent a week in the NICU and even that was incredibly scary for me as a new mom. So I wont’ lie and say I know exactly what you’re up against, because I don’t. But I am praying you keep strong and for the best possible outcome for your family.
I just wanted to say that I understand both your husband’s approach and yours and both are valid. I can see how they clash. You are more of a “take it as it comes” kind of person and you look at the short term goals, probably because that’s a lot less overwhelming. Understandably so. I am personally more like your husband and i need to go over all of the possible outcomes and come to terms with each one of them one by one and come up with some sort of “plan” as to what to do if one of those scenarios plays out. It drives me mad to just “not know” and I tend to get cranky and short and I just overthink everything and don’t do well in situations like that. I can see the logic in looking at short term goals first and focusing on what i’s front of me, but it’s just not how my mind works. I would imagine, to some extent, your husband functions very much like I do.
No matter what, this is a very difficult situation and I hope that you two can find a way to mesh your two very different approaches and be supportive of one another even if your approaches are entirely different. your precious baby has already proven she’s a fighter. love and hugs my dear…
When my Father-In-Law was on life support in the ICU for 24 days the ONLY thing that really got us/my Mother-In-Law though was taking it day by day. If you think about the long term you will drive yourself crazy, especially because you tend to think worst case scenario.
Maybe when he starts to do that try to redirect him to what good things are happening now ( like point out if o2 levels are good, ect) One day at a time!
Another thing I noticed was that the doctor would say 5 positive things one negative and she would latch on to the negative. I think its just a stress response. Perhaps your DH Is doing the same?
Praying for your baby and your family!!
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