(Closed) Premie 24 weeks, now what….

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 31
Hostess
8146 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

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alc1979:  Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t be at her side 24/7, she knows that you want to. Stay positive and like a few people said. Talk to the nurses, make friends with them. She sounds like a fighter for sure. I am praying for her. Are they giving her any colustrum oral care or through any tubes yet? Don’t over stress about pumping either (easier said than done), she won’t need much. Whatever you are able to get is perfect. There are a few nicu and preemie support groups on Fb that I hear are helpful. Xo

Post # 32
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Thinking of you and little Abbie today. You sound like a great mom, you’re doing everything you currently can which is what she needs from you.

Post # 33
Member
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I jsut wanted to share another happy story with you. My cousin was born super early as well. When he was born he weighed just a little over 2lbs. He was in the NICU for the first 3 months of his life. He is now 6 months old and he his thriving! They also took it day by day. There would be days when he would take 2 steps foreward and 3 steps back but he was a fighter and he made it through! I will pray for you OP! 

Post # 34
Member
1751 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Keeping you and Abbie in my thoughts!

Post # 35
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My niece was born at 25 weeks and is now 2 years old. She was very small for her age for the first year and a half but now she has almost caught up to the other children her age. She is a very happy and healthy little girl. Sending you and your baby best wishes x

Post # 36
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sounds like she is doing amazing! Kangaroo care is amazing. And I hope the meds close her PDA. Awesome to hear about no brain bleeds! You don’t have to share but remember to take tons of pictures!!! Believe it or not your time in the NICU is going to fly by!

 

Post # 38
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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alc1979:  There’s no sensitive way to say this, but I think he’s focusing on long term issues because that would mean there’s a long term to worry about.  I can’t know without understanding the content of those conversations, but he may just be feeling helpless and lost about the whole thing and trying to tackle a problem he thinks he might have more control over.  Does that make sense?  I cannot imagine what you are both going through and I have been following all of your updates.  I hope for the best for you and your family. 

Post # 40
Hostess
8146 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

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alc1979:  Still praying for you and Abbie. When I was researching the preemie life I made friends with the mom of a 28weeker. Her sons PDA would not close no matter what medicine they gave him. It was causing a host of other issues with starting feeds and getting off ventilators and such. They opted for the surgery and she calls it “the answer to her prayers”. He was able to thrive after that. Eating, lowering his oxygen and a lower type of vent. I just wanted you to know that if Abbie needs the surgery, try not to be scared. It could also solve some of her other problems. Xo Also my husband was very scared about the future issues as well (mental and physical development), but he  saw that I needed him in the “now”. Tell your DH how much you need him here in the present time with you. He’s your best support. 

Post # 41
Member
924 posts
Busy bee

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alc1979:  It sounds like your husband is feeling pretty anxious. It may be a good idea for him to talk to a therapist to learn some good tools for dealing with the worry. At the very least, he should buy a self help book.

I am wishing you all the best. My best friend had a preemie baby and he was in the hospital for 3 months. He is now a healthy 3 year old. 

Post # 42
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Hang in there, mom.  Guys can get PPD, too, and there are lots of reports/studies about PTSD in NICU parents.  Try to find someone for him to talk to about it.  The social workers should be around and be able to at least point you in the right direction.  Nurses, even, they’ll know who to ask and might even be able to call someone to your room to chat for a bit.  

We had our moments, too, trust me.  I was crying constantly, I was just so mad.  I tried to talk to my husband, just to tell him what I was feeling.  I just wanted him to hug me and say it was ok to feel that way.  But he doesn’t do stress like that.  He needs a solution, to plan for every eventuality.  At one point he nearly threatened to leave me if I didn’t get over it.  We’ve worked through it, obviously, but it was HARD.

Our son had a murmur that they suspected was PDA closing.  It was really loud, then it was just… gone.  Hoping the same for you, or whatever it takes to fix it.  

Post # 43
Member
6036 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

I have been following and have kept you, baby and your husband in my thoughts and prayers daily.

My son was born technically premature and spent a week in the NICU and even that was incredibly scary for me as a new mom. So I wont’ lie and say I know exactly what you’re up against, because I don’t. But I am praying you keep strong and for the best possible outcome for your family.

I just wanted to say that I understand both your husband’s approach and yours and both are valid. I can see how they clash. You are more of a “take it as it comes” kind of person and you look at the short term goals, probably because that’s a lot less overwhelming. Understandably so. I am personally more like your husband and i need to go over all of the possible outcomes and come to terms with each one of them one by one and come up with some sort of “plan” as to what to do if one of those scenarios plays out. It drives me mad to just “not know” and I tend to get cranky and short and I just overthink everything and don’t do well in situations like that. I can see the logic in looking at short term goals first and focusing on what i’s front of me, but it’s just not how my mind works. I would imagine, to some extent, your husband functions very much like I do.

No matter what, this is a very difficult situation and I hope that you two can find a way to mesh your two very different approaches and be supportive of one another even if your approaches are entirely different. your precious baby has already proven she’s a fighter. love and hugs my dear…

Post # 44
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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alc1979:  I haven’t been through this but I’m so sorry to hear about everything you are going through. Your baby seems like a fighter and so do you! You will all get through this. ::hugs::

Post # 45
Member
3064 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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alc1979:  I would ask the hospital what resources they have for NICU parents..this has to be so incredibly hard. Maybe having him talk to other parents who went through the same thing will be helpful for him

When my Father-In-Law was on life support in the ICU for 24 days the ONLY thing that really got us/my Mother-In-Law though was taking it day by day. If you think about the long term you will drive yourself crazy, especially because you tend to think worst case scenario.

Maybe when he starts to do that try to redirect him to what good things are happening now ( like point out if o2 levels are good, ect) One day at a time!

Another thing I noticed was that the doctor would say 5 positive things one negative and she would latch on to the negative. I think its just a stress response. Perhaps your DH Is doing the same?

Praying for your baby and your family!! 

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