(Closed) Prenup

posted 8 years ago in Legal
Post # 32
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Do not sign it. Don’t sign any legal documents without a lawyer looking over them to make sure that they are fair to both parties.

Post # 33
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Aww, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I personally would not sign it, nor would I marry someone who would make me sign one at all, no matter what it said. To me, its almost like saying WHEN we get a divorce. Hugs to you!!

Post # 35
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Doesn’t sound like he is understanding of all where you are coming from. To me it sounds like he does have divorce on his mind. I would sit down with him and talk about it. And most definatley don’t sign it. Why don’t the two of you sit down together and discuss without the lawyers present then do so again with the lawyers present.

Post # 36
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

oh hell no *finger wag*

Post # 37
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Nope, wouldn’t do it.  If you don’t get any money that’s made after you enter the marriage, and you’re a stay at home mom, you will be left with kids, no house, and no money (worst case scenario, but obvs that’s always true with a prenup) — you need to revise it once again.  I understand that he’s been hurt before and that makes it hard to trust, but he has to be willing to take the chance or why would he be marrying you?

Post # 38
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow. I don’t even know where to start! My Fiance has been divorced for 5 years and is STILL going through proceedings for their settlement! It’s been waring on him for so long that I definitely agreed to a pre-nup as I have watched him go through this awful, drawn out procedure. Now that you know I agree with certain pre-nups, DO NOT SIGN THAT. It is so degrading in every way. He is not valuing the work you will be doing as a mother while he is working, let alone SO many other things. Every detail he has in there points to him not be in this forever. I’m sorry girl, but don’t do it. Like the girls said above, there are post pre-nups, but those aren’t exactly made for people who haven’t decided on the terms of a pre-nup. It could ruin your marriage from the beginning. I hope everything works out for you- I’m truly sad you have to go through this right before your wedding! 

Post # 39
Member
4323 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@jlioy:  HELL NO! DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Find out what the laws in your state is for couples with no prenuptial agreement. Do not negate what the law provides for. Law is law for a reason. A prenuptial agreement in my mind should only protect premarital assets, not what was earned during a marriage. That’s what a marriage is all about in the eyes of the law.

Do you have an attorney? I’d get one, on his dime since he is requiring you to sign. And why in God’s name did he wait until TWO MONTHS before the wedding to formally spring the process on you? He’s putting you in a position to sign under duress. What an ass.

Post # 41
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@loving_life:  pre-nups do not always leave you with nothing? It just protects both sides. The only stipulation in ours says that if for some crazy reason we got divorced, that all legal action will be done in less than one year. That doesn’t mean I will be left with no money, no house, etc. This guy is just not understanding what it means to take care of his loved ones, God forbid anything happened to their marriage. 

Post # 42
Member
4323 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@jlioy:  I think it would be a good idea for you to re-evaluate what you will do with your life after you get married. Perhaps you should think more deeply about continuing your education, and getting a firm toe-hold into the job of your dreams, rather than staying home with kids. Especially if this is the way he’s going to treat you. Do fend for yourself. Do create a life for yourself that you can be proud of, and move on from him with, should the worst happen. As it is, he’s not setting you up for a comfortable departure from him, should divorce be inevitable. It’s up to you to work for your best interests, and I encourage you to do so. Tell him if he wants children raised with a parent at home, he’d better be the one to leave the work place, because he has given you no choice but to go out there and be the best YOU you can be.

Post # 43
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am so sorry you are going through this at such a late hour.  Two weeks before your wedding!  Unbelievable.  As an attorney, I am dissappointed to hear that he waited until this point to negotiate this.  It would really make me question a lot about my relationship. 

Just remember that a wedding is one day, and the prenup will last as long as ya’ll are married, so if you have to postpone, postpone. 

If the prenup makes you feel icky….trust that instinct girl!  Don’t agree to something when your gut is telling you otherwise. 

Post # 44
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@beachbride9222012:  No, they definitely don’t have to, but I got the impression that this one does.

Post # 45
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

This is a tricky one. I hate talking prenup. Its like talking about divorce before one is even married. I get why they are in place….but damn! I wouldnt sign that at all.

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